HeatherCat

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high school softball team, I decided it would be a good idea to

go ahead and give it a try.    

                                                       
 I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer

 named Bruce, who identified himself as a 26 year old aerobics 
 instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. 
 My husband (the dear) seemed pleased with my enthusiasm

to get started. The club encouraged me to keep a diary to

chart my progress. 

Monday:                                                                
                                                                  
Started my day at 6:00 am. Tough to get out of                
bed, but found it was well worth it when I arrived at the health club to

find Bruce waiting for me.  He is something of a Greek god -

with blond  hair, dancing eyes and a dazzling white smile. Woo Hoo!!   
                              
Bruce gave me a tour and showed me the  machines.                    
He took my pulse after five minutes on the                          
treadmill. He was alarmed that my pulse was so fast,
but I attribute it to standing next to him in his Lycra aerobic outfit.

I enjoyed watching the  skillful way in which he conducted his aerobics

class after my workout today. Very inspiring!
Bruce was encouraging as I did my sit-ups,                            
although my gut was already aching from holding it in the

whole time he was around.

This is going to be a fantastic week!!


Tuesday:                                                              
  

                                                                  
I drank a whole pot of coffee, but I finally
made it out the door.  

                                                      
Bruce made me lie on my back and push a heavy iron                    
bar into the air - then he put weights on it!

My legs were a little wobbly on the treadmill, but I
made the full mile. Bruce's rewarding smile made                      
it all worthwhile.  I feel GREAT!! It's s a whole new life for me.       

                

Wednesday:                                                            

The only way I can brush my teeth is by laying                     
the toothbrush on the counter and moving my mouth back

and forth over it.

I believe I have a hernia in both pectorals. Driving was OK as
long as I didn't try to steer or stop. I parked on top of a GEO in
the club parking lot.

Bruce was impatient with me, insisting that my screams
bothered  other club members. His voice is a little too perky for early in the  morning and when he scolds, he gets this nasally whine that is VERY  annoying.

My chest hurt when I got on the treadmill, so Bruce put me on the stair  monster.

Why the hell would anyone invent a machine to
simulate an activity rendered obsolete by elevators?

Bruce told me it would help me get in shape and                      
enjoy life. He mumbled some other stuff too.


Thursday:                                                              

Bruce was waiting for me with his vampire-like teeth exposed as his
thin, cruel lips were pulled back in a full snarl.                    
I couldn't help being a half an hour late, it took me that long to
tie my shoes.

Bruce took me to work out with dumbbells. When he was
not looking, I ran and hid in the men's room. He sent Lars to find me,
then, as punishment, put me on the rowing machine which I sank.


Friday:                                                               

I hate that bastard Bruce more than any human                         
being has ever hated any other human being in the history of the world.  
Stupid, skinny, anemic little cheerleader. If there was a part of my body  I could move without unbearable pain, I would beat him with it.    
                
Bruce wanted me to work on my triceps. I don't t have any triceps!
And if he doesn't want dents in the floor, he shouldn't have handed me
the *&%#(#&**!!@* barbells or anything that weighs more than a
sandwich.


The treadmill flung me off and I landed on a health and nutrition
teacher. Why couldn't it have been someone softer,
like the drama coach or the choir director?                          


Saturday:                                                             

Bruce left a message on my answering machine in                       
his grating, shrilly voice wondering why I did not show up today.
Just hearing him made me want to smash the machine with my
planner. However, I lacked the strength to even use the TV remote
and ended up catching eleven straight hours
of the Weather Channel.                                               


Sunday:                                                               

I'm having the Church van pick me up for services                     
today so I can go and  thank GOD that this week is over.
I will also pray that next year my husband (the BASTARD)
will choose a gift for me that is fun -
like a root canal or a hysterectomy.  

I went to my PCP and got my pre-op testing taken care of. I just needed blood work, a chest xray and an ekg done..woohooo...

11 days to go!!

I figured I would blog for a bit before I headed to work...Work..I hate my job with a passion...I was laid off about 2 months ago and took the first job that was offered to me, I was scared to have a lapse in pay, even though I would have gotten unemployement..Wooooo..How am I supposed to live off of $760 every two weeks..lmao...I took a laud back office position in Nottingham...Im making decent money..but I hate it..ANYWAY,...

This month is going to be busy for us....

We pick my mom up from the airport on Saturday..she has been vacationing in Sarasota/Orlando for the past month and is coming to pick up my youngest daughter Sydney.

Sunday, we take my mom and Sydney to the airport...to fly back to Sarasota

Monday I have my pre-op testing...Im thrilled at that...I have to get blood work, an ekg, and a chest x-ray..thats it..I was surprised that I dont have a 2 week liquid diet or anything like that...I only have to fast 24 hours prior to surgery

Thursday my oldest daughter (she is 18) Bethany leaves for Ocean City. She has a softball tournament this weekend down there...Then she decided to stay an extra week....lovely

The 25th I have my Cpap study...

The 27th surgery....WooHoo...

Well I figured I would write more, but its time for me to get going.

Sleepless in Severn posted a bulletin on the Maryland board and she asked that question...this was my response..

I guess my reasons for wanting the surgery at this moment is vanity with a secondary glance at my health...and I admit it...yes I am 265 lbs, but I dont "feel" like Im fat..Ive never bee teased when i was growing up because I havent been fat my whole life..in HS I was a size 9...after I had my first child I lost down to a size 7...I gained this weight from 1992 to now...When I look in the mirror I see an attractive 36 year old plump woman..But when I see pictures of myself, I think OH SHYT..is that how I look? I dont have any major health problems..Im not diabetic, dont have problems walking, my knees are fine...but I do get out of breath when I walk upstairs or up a hill..and that just kills me...and I know it isnt healthy..

I just want to be "normal"..I want to go into a restaurant and know I can fit in their booth..not look to see which side of the booth is bigger..and pray that my breasts dont sit on the table because I am soo squished...I want to go dancing and not have sweat dripping down my face and have to catch my breath after the first dance, I want to go to the beach with my daughters and enjoy myself..not just sit on the beach because my fat @SS cant get out of the sand without looking like a beached whale...I want to wear a skimpy drop dead gorgeous men salivating all over themselves pair of heels and dress just because I can...I want to put on a pair of jeans and say "damn I look good"...I want to ride amusement park rides and be able to breath at the same time...lol..some of those roller coaster rides killed me because I was packed in there so tight...I dont want to be the fattest person at my family reunions, at work, at a party...I want to have awesome mind blowing, tearing up the house sex...I want a man to be able to pick me up and do the deed standing up(real reason)...LMAO...OMG>>TMI TMI...I could go on...but Ill save you all the misery..lol...

Not sure whats going on with me, but Im in the need to simplify my life mood...I have gotten rid of one dog and 4 birds, and a ferret is next...and wanting to throw things away/give them to thrift stores like crazy....My husband says Im getting ready for the divorce...lmao...we will save that topic for another time...

I have also been wearing about 50% less makeup when I go out..which is uncharacteristic of me...lol..I have never worn foundation because I think it magnifies all the dried skin and wrinkles a person has...but I usually never leave the house without eye shadow,mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss....now I am down to mascara and lip gloss and some lotion on my face to make it smooooooooth...no eye shadow...no nothing...A guy at work noticed...says it looks like Im losing weight...lmao...hell maybe I wore soo much of the shyt that it made me look heavier....kidding..lol...I can promise you I havent lost any weight...

Im going to start blogging more on my page...I had a yahoo 360 blog page with over 1000 entries...but the yahoo site is almost exist andhalf the time the site loses the blogs, so I stopped...

Have a great day people!!

So, Ive been calling Dr. Averbach's office for 2 days, but no one has been very helpful, which is odd..I have the clearance letter from the doctor, faxed it to their office yesterday, but Heather, who handles that for Dr. A has not been in...

Sooo, I call the pre-auth board for my insurance who takes down my info and I get a call back within 10 min..I tell them I was missing a clearance letter from my PCP and that someone also was under the impression I had taken Phen-Fen...which wasnt true, so she said she would correct that on my file and I faxed over the letter...she said well, thats it..Ill submit this for approval and call your surgeon when its made...wooo..about F-ing time...

I called the doctor's office and they told me that my paperwork was sent to the insurance..woohooo...Am I excited? Yes...If they said I could get it tomorrow..I would...

I have stopped discussing it with my family...It like they think this is Heather's new fad..give her a few months and she will get over it...George and the girls are supportive...but no one else in my entire family is...then again..Im the largest one IN my family next to an older Aunt....I dont think its "jealousy" issues..Its just that most of them have never had a weight problem and dont see what the big deal is...

Some guy friends of mine think that Im crazy for getting it done...They say Im perfect the way I am....Im thinking, they are the crazy ones..

But not all of my friends are non-supportive...Others tell me that they will support any decision I make and help me to achieve my goal..that makes me feel soo good...yes this is right before they ask me if I want to go to Golden Corral for lunch..lol...

Anyway...let me get to bed...I nursed a slight hangover this morning and then went shopping (got a pedicure and eye brows waxed and a Hannah Montan bra set for my daughter...woooooooo) after work and didnt come in until late....

I went and got my psych evaluation today...I was in a damn good mood before I got there and just continued on throughout it.

I arrived and we introduced ourselves and he said Im going to be honest with you, you really dont look like you need weight loss surgery. I told him I weighed 272 pounds and he said well you carry it very well because I would have never guessed...A lot of gentlemen at work tell me they same thing..though I am not bold enough to go blabbing my weight to everyone at the office..lol..

He asked me why I wanted to have the surgery...I looked him straight in the eyes with the most serious face and said, So that I can live my dream of becoming a stripper...I wish I could have taken a picture of him....I couldnt hold it in any longer...I started laughing and told him that I was joking...Im not sure if he believed me...LMAO

Things progressed well after that..then we come to the alcohol question..

Doc-"do you smoke"

Me-"No"

Doc-"do you drink"...

Me-"Yes I do"

Doc-"How much"?

Me-"I usually drink on Friday or Saturday".My youngest stays with my mother on the weekend, so that is a wind down from work me time"

Doc- "How much do you drink? Do you drink beer"?

Me- "I drink maybe 4-6 drinks, no I dont drink beer I drink tequila,margaritas or vodka".

Doc-"But you dont drink to get drunk"

Me- "Yes, I do...why else would you drink"..

OMG..then the next question..."Do you drink alone"...lmao...

Despite that little hiccup..I think things went well and he said he would have the report back to Dr. Averbach within a week... :) Maybe....lmao