Linda V.
The Dark Place
Nov 03, 2009
I do not know why I'm doing this. I do not know what the issue is. I have to fix this. Now. Today. Once and for all.I have been eating non stop since I found out that I was approved for surgery and this is not a good thing. I'm fine when I'm at work, I'm fine when I'm out. When I get home, I EAT. Lots. It's out of control.
I haven't seen my counselor in a few weeks, that may be what the problem is. I know that I have to fix the head issues along with the health issues, but this is ridiculous. I know what to do, so why don't I just do it?
I get up at 4:30 am to get to work by 6:00 am. I talk to people on the phone all day, some of them are abusive. By the time I get home, I just want to go back to bed. I am totally drained. The time change has not helped at all. I want to change my shift, but my in-laws take care of the kids and they would prefer if I did not. *sighs*
Cognitively, I know what to do. I know I should be tracking my food and exercising. I'm not doing either at this point. I did go for a walk with my daughter today and will be getting on the bike here in a few minutes. I have to get back on track. I HAVE to.
Is it because I know that there's a light at the end of the tunnel? Is it because even though I know surgery is the best thing for me, I'm scared? Is it because Lucas is not here and I really want him to be? Is it because I'm lonely and I want my husband HERE and not five thousand miles away?
I could be on to something. Yeah. On to something. Like my recumbent bike....*sighs*
6 Comments
About Me
Sandy, UT
Location
40.7
BMI
Surgery
12/15/2009
Surgery Date
Sep 21, 2009
Member Since
