Impatiently Waiting...

Jan 30, 2009

Last week... the 21st and 22nd... I had my pre-op appointments that are for me to get approved... the meetings with the nut, workout and psyc specialists... they were SO much nicer than the chick who I had to talk to so I could schedual them. They were all very helpful and very understanding... I loved the woman I talked to for my psyc exam. She let me babble on about the problems I have had over the years and she was empathedic... not many are.. so that was nice. I know its her job, but still... I have been to a counselor before and she was never as good as this woman. She even came and meet my son when everything was over.
They all said that I seemed to be a good canidate for weight loss surgery....

a small rant about that...
You know, it is WONDERFUL that I will have my oppertunity to have my surgery because these people believe I am a good canidate for it.. .but its bitter sweet to be told I am a good canidate to be surgically altered because I am so fat... lol You know what I mean? It is a weird feeling.. i came home and told my husband about that feeling and he laughed and said he could see why I'd feel that way.. but he told me to focus on the sweet part of that bitter sweetness.... if you think about it.. when you have a sweet-n-sour candy.. the sour is only in the beginning.. then afterwards all is left is the sweet. All of this process where I HAVE to talk about how heavy I am and my history of my weight.. how I was able to lose the weight but inevitably gained it back no matter what I did because I got pregnant... hopefully soon the sweetness will come where I will have my DS and no longer have to struggle with my weight like I have.

ANYWAY... that was over a week ago that I had those appointments.. I know they said it would probably be a week before anything was even sent to my insurance.. but it is SO hard to wait! I REALLY hope my insurance is quick and approves me... if I don't hear from them by next Wednesday I might try to give my surgeons office a call and see how things are going... but no garantees... I HATE making those calls.. they make me really nervous and uneasy. Its almost easier to pretend like I am not really waiting and just get the call than to call them and be on the edge of my seat... lol I just wish I knew... my BIGGEST fear of this whole process was being approved by the insurance... I really need this. I am mentally ready for all the pain I will have to go through to get there and I am physically and emotionally prepared to accept the weight I will lose... I already have a plan so I can make the most of my weight loss in the beginning... I am copying those who have had very good success early on in thier surgery... very low carbs and getting all the protien in! I told my husband I don't really want to have any carbs available in the house if I can help it. I am working on getting off of coke... already stopped buying it... and I am trying to eat more than 1 meal a day (that is the hardest thing for me)... I just would like to know soon if I am accepted. I am ready for it... I just dont want to have to wait. I also want to make sure I am able to go on and enjoy my family vacation to florida with my family, my brothers family and my parents... its a free vacation to the beach on my parents dime (always wonderful!)...the earlier I have my surgery the better of a chance I have to enjoy my first family vacation with my son. *sigh* Just please make the time go by fast! And PLEASE let me be approved!!!!

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