Am I the only one up?

Feb 16, 2009

My mind is racing... its almost 3am and I just cannot seem to find sleep. Of course my 2 hour nap at 7:30pm probably didn't help.... I wrote on the board about this but I probably should post it too... I got a call from Dr.Andersons office about my approval... aparently there is a weight loss surgery exclusion that my husbands work put into the policy. I cried... and I cried really really hard. I felt as if I lost hope... I felt like I was a child again being rejected for the millionth time. I have been rejected before... alot actually... in my lifetime. But it has been several years since I felt rejection that deep... rejection that hit a part of me that was delicate and couldn't stand to be broken again. Susie from Dr. Andersons office told me to find my policy and call her back with the exact wording... perhaps there is a way around it. Now there is a form of a loophole in the exclusion... it says "All products exclude surgical treatment of morbid obesity and weight-loss drugs (including hmo) unless a case exception is approved." I called Susie but she wasnt available so I left her a message with that information. Maybe there is  a way around it.. I don't know. My husband said he is willing to self-pay if we have to. I am wondering if I should just go ahead with my surgery and continue to appeal and hope for a reimbursement... I also just don't know how to do self-pay...  my credit is shot thanks to my ex stealing my identity a few years ago... he stole $40k in my credit and I was in FL at the time and thier identity theft laws were very weak... so he was able to get away with it and I had to file for bankruptsy. ANYWAY... it woudl be extremely difficult for me to get a loan... and my husbands credit isn't much better because of mistakes he made when he was 18 and credit was introduced. Outside of our car loan and mortgage we dont really have alot of debt now because we worked hard to get things paid down. But after all the bills are paid and with having a baby, we don't have much extra left over either...even with my husbands weekend job. Right now working part time isn't an option for me because of my baby and we only have one car.... my mom retires at the end of this year and so then she could watch him so I could work to help pay stuff down but until then... nope. Part of me hopes my mom will help out financially for the surgery and then if I get the reimbursment I could pay her back... she doesnt have money laying around or anything but she has the means more than I do. I am just praying for a miracle and trying to have faith. Faith is the evidence of things unseen... its all I have right now with all of this.

I really want to have this surgery before my son is walking... I already have a hard time with the joint pains I have with him being such an active baby...crawling around everywhere, standing... moving from furniture to furniture... he will be walking so soon! I will probably bring that up with Susie tomorrow... I just want everything to work out!!

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