Jeanine J.
Still see the "fat" me
Dec 07, 2011
I can't help but see the fat me still. Well, the fatter me. I am only 41 lbs from my own set goal, I have lost 100 lbs since my highest weight yet I still feel really HUGE!!! I cannot believe I was as big as I was and I am disgusted that I was ever that BIG! I am proud to say that if I don't lose any more weight I will be happy because I am healthier. But I am determined to get to my goal! I hate looking in the mirror because I don't see thenew me, I see the fat almost dead me. I can't shake the feeling that everyone still sees me as a fat ass even though I have lost 100 lbs!! I am treated a lot better now (which sucks). But I still see Fat Heffa Moose Jeanine! :( I think of all the com
0 comments
Getting back on track
Oct 06, 2011
I am starting from the beginning again. Going back to basics. I hate that lately I have not been able to exercise. I have been eating and snacking tooo much! So, I am going back to basics. I am making myself a promise to not WASTE this wonderful tool that I worled hard to get! I am going to be using a protein shake/Carnation Instant Breakfast drink for breakfast, I am going to measure my meals. STAY AWAY from pasta, rice and bread (and everything else that I know I shouldn't have)! I am going to start walking more and doing my weight training! I NEED to do this for me befor I start feeling bad about myself and start calling myself a failure! :( I am not going to waste this opportunity of my life time! I know I am not the only one struggling so that makes me feel a little better but this is all still on my shoulders because I am the one making the bad choices! Once I get out of that habbit (again) I think that i will be ok!
0 comments
Making BAD food choices!
Sep 17, 2011
I am making bad food choices! I am pretty sure I am addicted to CARBS and carbonation! I have been drinking a lot of soda, 1 Liter a day (give or take). I have been eating carbs like they are going ot of style! I feel so down about it and I am kicking myself in my A$$!!! I am going to change this! I am going to do it TODAY!! I am cutting out all my carbs and soda! I am not drinking soda anymore!!! I know that I am going to struggle with the carbs but in order for me to be successful with my surgery I cannot keep eating them! I know it will be a struggle as my family will still eat carbs. As long as I am strong I will make it! I know that I will probably slip on here and there but I will be successful because I DESERVE IT! MY KIDS DESERVE IT! MY HUSBAND DESERVES IT! I have already lost 40 lbs with surgery (roughly 10 lbs a month)! I can only imagine how much better I will do once carbs are out of my diet!
0 comments
Beautiful
May 08, 2011
I am 5 days away from having surgery. I am both nervous and excited. I have been second guessing myself. Do I REALLY want to have this surgery? Do I want to put my body through this? The answer I keep coming to is YES!
I am so excited for people to see me for me and not just my weight! Because I know we have all been judged for our outward appearance instead of our inward appearance. As a large person people often discard me as a lazy ignorant person. Like I am a slob that isn't smart enough to manage her life. I know that I have been passed up for a job opportunity because of my size. I want people to know that just because I am a large person it doesn't mean that you can make fun of me, ridicule me, stare, laugh or judge me without even knowing who I am on the inside! I am a beautiful, smart caring person. I love me for who I am on the inside and just because YOU can't see me for me YOU are the ignorant one!
1 comment
I am so excited for people to see me for me and not just my weight! Because I know we have all been judged for our outward appearance instead of our inward appearance. As a large person people often discard me as a lazy ignorant person. Like I am a slob that isn't smart enough to manage her life. I know that I have been passed up for a job opportunity because of my size. I want people to know that just because I am a large person it doesn't mean that you can make fun of me, ridicule me, stare, laugh or judge me without even knowing who I am on the inside! I am a beautiful, smart caring person. I love me for who I am on the inside and just because YOU can't see me for me YOU are the ignorant one!
Conflicted
Mar 01, 2011
So, I am approved and have a date. My problem is do I keep this date or try to get a later date so that I have FMLA. My date is March 25th and my FMLA will kick in May 5th. So it's only about 6 more weeks. BUT when you have been waiting and wanting this for so long it seems like a lifetime!!! I just don't know what to do and my DH isn't much help because he says 'You are going to do what you are going to do' or he just says ' I don't know' it's up to you'. I just want to scream from the rooftops and rip my hair out! I am so conflicted!!! 
0 comments
I am a good candidate!?!
Oct 22, 2010
I cannot believe it! I am a good candidate? Are you serious? Finally! I have been grinning ear to ear since the call this morning! I cannot wait to get this ball a rollin'! I am sooo happy! My life is starting over again!!!
0 comments
Finally a REFERRAL!
Oct 19, 2010
Finally a YEAR after I have started this process I have a referral to the surgeon! I have had to switch my insurance company to make this happen but MAN IS IT WORTH IT! I have a huge weight lifted. NOW I wait for my surgery date! I am getting excited and nervous! I am one step closer than I have EVER been to getting my surgery! YAY ME!
0 comments
Starting Again.
Oct 03, 2010
So, I have a different Insurance company and I jumping through the hoops all over again! Something that I don't mind doing because I want to be approved. The only reason I kept getting denied from my other insurance is because I was "too healthy". I have no serious co morbids (like HBP, Sleep Apnea or Diabetes). I have just a few minor issues that affect me ( chronic pain, GERD, fatigue). I am ready for the process to start AGAIN! I cannot wait!
1 comment
As days go by...
Nov 07, 2009
As the days get closer to my seminars I get more concerned because I keep thinking "OMG what if I dont get approved?". I know I have a lot of minute problems associated with my weight hopefully ONE of them is serious enough for my to get approved!! I just dont want to have my children be embarrased about me being at their schools anymore!! It really all hit home (as far as how big I REALLY was) when my son told me that he didnt want me going to his school anymore because he was embarrased by me and he didnt want me to break any of his school chairs when I sat down...I knew I was large but I didnt know the effect that it had on my loved ones!! My DH and I had a conversation a few weeks back and I didnt realize all the things that he REALLY wanted to do but couldnt because I wasnt able to do them...WE always wanted to hike in ACADIA and BAXTER but I cannot walk more than 10 minutes on flat land and only 2 minutes UPHILL!! I HAVE TO GET APPROVED!!! My family and life depends on it!!
0 comments
new and scared!
Nov 03, 2009
Hello, I am new to this site...been here (on the site) for about 1 week. I have a lot of concerns and fears about my WLS. I feel that I am not going to be approved because of my lack of serious co-morbidities. I do have GERD but some say that is a serious one and some say its not serious enough. My doctor (PCP) says that believes that this surgery is necessary. So I have that on my side. I go to my first seminar on the 17th and my second on the 19th. I also think I am going to got to a senminar for Bangor too! I have a lot of questions that my friends a Bariatric Buddies and on the Maine Message Board have been helping me with. I know that I will have a lot of questions answered at the seminars. One BIG question that I have is who requires a pre-payment and why do they require it? I look forward to getting to know you all over this time. Hopefully I will be able to help others as everyone has helped me!
0 comments
