Well here we go!!

Mar 03, 2023

Today is the first day of it all. 

I found out about a program that my work pays for called Surgery Plus. I called them because I had no idea what they were or anything. What they told me blew my mind, but Im getting ahead of myself.

I am 41 and over 400lbs. The smallest I have ever been was 150lbs and that was in 1997 when I was in high school. I have gone up and down but never back down to that 150lbs. I'm divorced, childhood trama and adult trama, and no i'm not going to go in to all of it. yyyeesss I'm in therapy, before anyone asks. If anyone is even here, maybe Im writing this in to the void and its just good to write or is it at this point "type", because no one anyone writes down with pen and paper anymore. Sorry, Im rambling at this point. 

I had resigned myself to just being fat, obese, lard ass, big girl, or phat, whatever you want to call me, or really whatever I call myself. I've always been "that" girl in the friend group and I let myself just be ok with it. Ive been the friend that hangs out with the "hot" friend and just watch guys fall at her feet. Been the biggest girl in the room and be completly invisable. I never wanted to be that person but here I am 41 and im just tired. 

So back to this "surgery plus" call. They will pay for everything except the lab tests which my normal insurance will pay for. Did you hear me out there in the void? EVERYTHING. I started grilling because nothing good ever happens to me and it if does something worse happens later. Good things always comes with strings but there are no strings here and I dont know how to handle it. I cried like a baby and than screamed in happiness and than cried again. 

So here we are Day one, already filled out paperwork, and now I have an appointment with a doctor that is going to help change my life. So lets see how all this goes.

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