Krista C.

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225. Still.

As many of you who know me know, I am an upbeat positive person for the majority of the time. What do you say when friends ask you how the weight loss is going when you're not happy with the results? These are people that sincerely care about me and are asking me because they are supportive, not because they are out to get me or being the food police or anything negative in any way at all. They really are sincere.

I don't want to lie, I don't want to whine, and I'm really trying to stay positive. I'm down 20 lbs in 9 weeks. Now before you jump up and down ~ relate to me for a moment :) It's hard to be on track food-wise (1200 calories 90% of time), exercising (3X a week so I know that could be more) and white-knuckling it a lot of the time and not see the scale move consistently. I know it's like the mystery of the Caramilk bar, but I just can't understand how I could NOT be losing weight. You know?

I don't like to just say "Fine thanks!" when I don't always feel "fine" about it at all. I know I'm not a "turtle" ~ I just had these visions of being such a success at this. I know I'm hard on myself and expect a lot. It's just hard sometimes coming here and cheering others on who are dropping lbs left, right and center and wonder "Why them?"

Anyway, I'm rambling. How do I keep a stiff upper lip and still be honest with people about how I am doing? I want to present an honest picture. And, yeah, I do feel like this is mostly me and not the band at this point in time.

Today is the 2 month "anniversary" of my lap band surgery. I was hoping to write something profound but I'm not feeling very profound this morning :) I'll update nonetheless.

I have lost 20 lbs in the first 2 months post-op, and a total of 45 since I rededicated myself in January of this year to losing weight.  I'm starting to put aside tops that are too large for me now which is a nice feeling. Pants still all fit because I wear nothing but elastic waist stretchy pants. I look forward to the day that I won't need to own those anymore :)

I've started exercising again ~ about 2 weeks now. I'm going to a class at the gym on Monday night and working out twice a week with a trainer doing weights. I know I need to do more and I'll get there. I do enjoy exercising once I get there ~ it's the "getting there" that I need to continue to work on.

Some people have noticed my weight loss but I'll admit not as many as I would have thought. How I could be down 45 lbs without that being noticeable is odd but whatever :)

I've been following my diet (1200 calories) quite faithfully since surgery. Last night, I was grazing and couldn't get "full" but that was the first time I can actually say that I felt "bad" about overeating. Putting it into perpective, it was probably 1800 calories instead of 1200 but it was still not a good feeling.

Is it easier with the band? I'd have to say it is although at this point it's still really me dieting and exercising. I've seen many other posts where people say it will get easier with restriction so I look foward to then. I have had one fill and my next won't be scheduled 'til December. I've PB'ed once and slimed twice and that's not an experience I would like to repeat very often. It wasn't HORRIBLE but it won't make my "things I'd like to do on a Friday night" list either.

I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish it was easier and I wish I was further ahead in my weight loss. I try not to compare myself to others but it's tough when you see people losing at a much faster rate. But I'll keep on keeping on :) My goal is 10 lbs per month ~ which I have hit right now. Yup, it's higher than the "promised" rate of 1-2 lbs / week but I'm an overachiever in everything I do.

I love this board and the friendships I have made here. I appreciate the support we give and get here. If you're a lurker, jump in. The support you will get here is second to none. And give back eh? That's something I find really helps here -- support others and they will come out in droves and support you.

Thanks for sharing in the first 2 months with me. Goal is 199 by Christmas Eve. I can do this!

January 4 at the gym:

267lbs

Upper Arm - 14 1/4

Chest - 49 1/2

Waist - 52 1/4 (can you imagine?!)

Buttocks - 66

Right Thigh - 35

September 18 at the gym:

227lbs (40 lbs gone)

Upper Arm - 12 3/4 (1 1/2 inches gone)

Chest - 44 1/2 (5 inches gone)

Waist -  47 (5 1/4 inches gone)

Buttocks - 59 (7 inches gone)

Right Thigh - 33 1/2 (1 1/2 inches gone)

Total inches gone since January ~ 20 1/2 inches!

For those who just looooove to follow along on my journey, why not share the first PB / slime? Eek.

I worked all day and then went and got my hair permed tonight so it was after 8 pm by the time I got home. I was so hungry I could have ate an arshole out of a skunk but instead I had a plate of cut up chicken with salsa. My intentions were good ~ I cut the chicken into smaller sized pieces but I was SO HUNGRY that I gobbled down more than one piece at a time.

Mistake!!!

Sometimes at night, I do feel tightness this week (got a fill last week) and I started feeling it again. Burping, which is not really normal for me surprisingly and I knew then it was something "different". The tightness got worse and I got up and walked but had a really hard time catching my breath. I went outside to see if the cooler air might help and up came the chicken. Just like everyone said - not barfy barf, but just the little chunks of undigested chicken. I'm sure the next door neighbour's cat enjoyed watching me. 

The pain kept up for about 1/2 hour and was followed by some sliming. Not what I expected ~ as advertised here I thought it would go on and on and be really disgusting. Not that it was a treat or anything, but it wasn't as bad as I had expected. 

So that's it, kids, I'm not a virgin anymore. And perhaps my fill from last week DID do something eh? Going to take it easier today ~ diet says if I vomit to go back to 2 DAYS mixed fluids. I'm not really big on that idea but at least I'll chew much much slower and more.

So I'm down about 16 lbs since July 24th. That's "average" but I have to admit I am a bit discouraged. I lost 10 lbs in a first 3 weeks and God help me, I certainly should have being only on liquids and mushies. Any less and I would have been behooved! Then 6 lbs in the following 3 weeks. I'm not being honest if I don't say that I'm disappointed in that. I feel like if I were still going to Weight Watchers and doing the Core program, that I would be able to lose that, if not more.

I know I can't "do it" on my own long term and I certainly am not saying I regret this decision. I just find right now,it's all me - dieting and doing the work.  Is it easier with the band? I honestly don't know right now.

I have to start exercising more -- I did 3 times this week and I'm going back to the gym and going to sign up for sessions to work with the trainer again. It's expensive to get healthy :( I am sure I'll be laying out no less than $400 for some training sessions and although the grocery bill is less these days, it's not like I have an endless supply of money. I know I am worth the investment so I'll suck it up.

There's nothing anyone can really say to make me feel better. I try not to compare myself to others but it's hard. Maybe they have more to lose, maybe they are younger, maybe they are exercising way more than me. I don't know and really it's none of my business anyway. I have to focus on myself and just carry on. 

My food is right on track with the program I have been given which is 1200 calories a day, Canada's Food Guide.  I guess it is possible that I am not eating enough because when I compare it to what I was eating on WW Core, it's definitely way way WAY less and I was dropping weight quicker then.

It's hard to put into words how I am feeling. I knew going in that the weight loss was 1-2 lbs / week but it just is taking a long time. I thought I was going to be this band superstar but it isn't panning out that way. 

Suck it up, princess. It is what it is.

Got in for my first fill yesterday. I weighed in at 228.9 which was down 6 lbs in the past 3 weeks. The nurse and dietician both said that was good. I gotta admit -- I was hoping for more. Oh well :) Down 16 since surgery so I'll take that and run with it.

They definitely suggested that I need to step up the exercise -- should be exercising 5 times / week per Lise, the nurse.

The fill wasn't too bad at all. They froze me up, took out the 3 CC from the original surgery (called priming of the band) and then put me up to 4. Dr B watched the barium swallow and said it was too loose so they added another .5Cc for a total of 4.5CC in my 10 CC band. He told me to try that for a few weeks and then let Lise now how I am doing and they will re-adjust if needed. If all is well, they will see me again in another 3 months.

It was more of a pressure as the radiologist pushed the needle into the port and filled in but not painful. I did get very woozy at one point so they out the bed downward so I was in a prone position then raised me up again.

Back on liquids for remainder of yesterday and today and then mushies for another 2 days.

Nothing lost in 10 days - posted about it on the board and got amazing replies and support from folks. I'll keep on keeping on. I know I have to start exercising. 

Coffee with skim milk and sugar twin.

B - slice of multigrain toast w/pb

500 mL Crystal Lite

L - serving of Triscuits, 100g ham, lowfat lowsugar Cozyshack Chocolate Pudding (1/2 cup)

500 mL flavoured water

S - 1/2 c corn niblets, 100 g ham, Clff protein bar (250 calories), 1 cup blueberries with ultra low fat Cool Whip

Snack - banana, applesauce

Well, today marks the anniversary of my first month. I'm very pleased with my decision to have this surgery and I can't believe it's been a month already.

Post-op, I did 2 weeks of liquids followed by 2 weeks of mushies. In hindsight, it wasn't bad at all. Around Day 7 on liquids, I started to get "hungry" but I made it through unscathed. I was very strict with following the doctor's instructions to a  "T". As I had waited over 3 years for this surgery and been postponed in May when I gained 5 lbs, I was not going to do anything to eff it up.

I feel very lucky because I had the smoothest journey I can imagine! I had my gall bladder out in 1999 and was told the pain was similar. I found the pain to be MUCH less and once I learned that a body pillow and heating pad were my friends, I was better off even still. I found the first 10 days tough to get sleep but after that, smooth sailing.

I've been VERY LUCKY to not have burping issues at all. As well, the gas was next to nothing and although I can fart up a storm at home, at work it's not an issue or I do it quietly in my own little cubicle. These were 2 HUGE worries for me as I had read so many posts about the burping and farting and thought "Oh God, please don't let that be me!"

I started on "real food" on Tuesday and I'm just slowly introducing foods one at a time to see how I make out. Last night, I had 6 or 7 Triscuits as I had read here on the board that one person said they went down fine and they did so that was good. Last night, I ate a burger (no bun) a little too fast and had some chest pain but just slowed down and the rest of the meal was fine. This was the first time I'd actually felt anything so a good "gentle" reminder to me to slow down and chew chew chew.

I just started the exercise and should have long ago but I can't be all perfect can I? :) I've walked 30 minutes twice on the treadmill this week and will do another 30 today or tomorrow and start increasing from there. 2 more weeks 'til I can do classes and weights at the gym so I am sure that will help.

Weight loss wise, I'm down about 13-15 lbs. I'm happy with that. Some days I admit I fall into the comparision game and am a little disappointed when I hear of others losing 20+ lbs in the same amount of time. But I just have to focus on me and keep on trucking.

If you're stll reading, thanks :) I just wanted to give a one month update. I'm feeling happy and strong and proud and loving it so far. Thanks for all the support you folks have given me as I LOSE weight to get into LOOSER pants *wink*

Coffee with skim milk and sugar twin.

B - cream of wheat cereal with sugar twin and skim milk, banana

Flavoured water

L - 1/2 c pureed soup, 1/2 cup pureed blueberries

Crystal Light

S - lean beef burger with melted cheese, baked potato, 5 strawberries with ultra-low fat Cool Whip

Tonight I'll have more Crystal Light and a protein bar (my treat of the day!) while watching Last Comic Standing.

Emailed Rinette, the dietician for Dr B and she said not to worry about the 1 cup rule now but instead to focus on the following and I will be fine.

• 6 fruits / vegetables
  
• 4 grain
  
• 2 milk
  
• 3 fat
  
• 2-3 protein
  

I'm finding I can't get all this in -- that's a GREAT THING! I can't believe how much I love this :)

Breakfast - coffee with skim and twin - pause for 1/2 hour - 1/2 cup oatmeal with skim milk and 1/2 cup applesauce

Mid morning - 500 mL flavoured water

Lunch - 1/2 cup veg beef pureed soup, 1/2 cup pureed blueberries

Mid afternoon - 1/2 cup yogurt

Supper - 500 mL Crystal Light - pause for 1/2 hour - 1/2 cup mashed potatoes and 1/2 cup pureed veg beef soup

Evening - 500 mL flavoured water

This is my last official day of mushies. WHOOT WHOOT!