Day vs. night weight and why the hell do I do that to myself?

Mar 09, 2010

Why, for all that is good and holy, do I check the scale at night periodically?  Between my morbid curiosity and Aunt Flo - I registered a 2# gain.  Now, I know that I was fully clothed and I, rationally, know that in the evening you weigh more......but it annoyed me to no end.....and I found myself cursing Aunt Flo and all that she stands for.  Beeyotch.  As if her arrival isn't miserable enough.  Okay - rant over.

I've been feeling "empty" more lately.  Not hungry....just empty.  I can tell when I need to put something in my belly.  So, I have to make more of an effort to eat more at work.....I tell ya, work is getting me in the food dept.  The last two days have been insanity - with patient after patient.....and tough ones, too.  Between the craziness and the paperwork - I haven't MADE time to eat.  Therein lies my problem.  I need to MAKE time to do it. 

This weekend I am going to be toting all sorts of snacks around downtown Scranton for food.  I have to - a whole day downtown in the city is bound to get me....if I'm not careful.  But I will be.

K, off to work - 6 reports to write up..... and not enough hours in the day to do them!  I brought some work home last night, but unfortunately my laptop, which was sent directly TO Dell - came back with the OS changed out - but without the new hard drive - which was the big problem.....so, she's still dead(ish).  Don't trust it for work stuff.....God forbid I lose anything.  OY.

have a great day, all - and thanks for reading! =)
<3,
Laur =)
3 comments

Another week - and a journey into TWO-derland!

Mar 08, 2010

Yes, my friends, the 300's have officially left the building!  I have been anxiously awaiting this day.....and have been teetering here for a few days.  I'm so thrilled the wait is over.  My friend, Renee, will be thrilled for me - and apparently has a plan involving several participants and a myriad of sharpie tattoos - I am frightened but excited to see what she has cooked up. 

The weekend brings a lot of parties - St. Patrick's Day in Scranton.  It's a tradition I feel every human being should experience once in their lives - I've been fortunate to experience it every year since I can remember.  Visiting friends I haven't seen all year, lots of walking, lots of drunk ppl dodging, and lots of DD'ing, since drinking is out of the question this early out.  All is good, though.  I cannot wait to experience this event with more energy!  =)  It's going to be so much fun...and my poor sister who is always DD gets to enjoy the imbibement for a change.  Hooray for her!  =)

Yesterday at work kicked my ass - but I'm happy to be back in the swing of things.  I had 4 new evaluations yesterday and I have 3 today - 2 of which are kiddos..... handfuls!!!  =)  I love the kids, though....make me feel young and exhausted all at the same time.  It's a good feeling.

K, gotta go - lots of paperwork waiting at work.  Have to straighten the house - home inspection today..... we have our home choices down to 4, but none of them have ALL we want.  We'll have to compromise or keep looking.  We'll see.

Thanks for reading!  I'll post more pics tonight or tomorrow - my lappy is in the shop - so I have to use the hubby's PC - he's not very good at sharing.  =(

<3 you all!
2 comments

Has it really been another week?

Feb 28, 2010

Time is going fast in some respects, and it feels like an eternity in other ways.  During my crazy journey with saying goodbye to my Nanni, I lost another 7# - and I'm sure it is because I was not a good girl when it came to my nutrition - the lack of hunger hormone really worked to my detriment during that weekend!

So, another Monday is upon us.  I'm down another 2# since last Tuesday, which I'm thrilled about, but I feel like I've been given little nutritive direction.  I have to make an appt with the NUT at PMRI.  I think she can shed some light on things.  I am on soft solids, but as far as how to progress at this point?  Not a clue.  And I'm not gonna sugar coat it - all the frickin' cheese I'm eating is binding me the hell up.  I feel like I need to get a court injunction to poop - and it ain't comfy.  I've tried Miralax (or, Mira-cle!)  that stuff is amazing - but I don't want to rely SOLELY on that for help.  But if I have to, I'm up for it.

I'm so glad to be back to work - for the normalcy it brings and the distraction.  I was getting stir crazy being home.  I start treating patients today - I cannot wait.  It's those things that make me feel whole. 

Well, I'm off...have to shower and get ready to go to work.  Plan to blog more regularly...it really helps me.  *waves to my seester, Jenny, and her friends* - they've been reading regularly - even though they are not OH'ers....

Thanks for reading!
<3
Laur =)
1 comment

Yeah, so I copy/pasted this from a board post...I got nothin'.

Feb 20, 2010

With everything going on in Scranton and preparing for the funeral and such.....I have been lucky to get 3 meals in...and they're not necessarily good ones.  My water intake sucks and my stomach is in stress filled knots.  what am I to do?!

Yesterday I had laughing cow cheese for breakfast, a greek yogurt for lunch, and soup for dinner.....I keep trying to drink the protein drinks but I just can't get them in. They make me feel ill.  I don't get it.

Not to mention the food ppl keep dropping off at my parents' house.... hellooooo carbs.
Scones, wraps, etc......and I would give my i-teeth for some comfort food......fries with gravy, hell, even a bagel would be wonderful - but I am trying to stay the course.  It sucks.  God and my Grandmother are testing me with my will..... and I am trying like hell to pass.  

Thanks for listening.  I'll talk to you all when all is said and done - today and tomorrow are going to be among the worst days of my life....I just hope I make her proud.

*hugs*
Laurie =)

PS.... Keep my fam in your prayers, please....this journey has been healing to a certain degree, but the reality has not hit some of them yet.  My aunt and cousins are really going to be hit hard when they see Nan.... and I worry for all their well being.  Thanks for reading!  <3
1 comment

Okay,just sad day....

Feb 18, 2010

My grandmother passed away this morning at 3:15. I was blessed to have her in my life....blessed to be able to say goodbye.....and am blessed knowing she is in the kingdom of heaven with my grandfather, who has been waiting for her for almost 29 years.

I haven't slept a wink.  Just got cleared to go back to work and am taking bereavement time.  Thank goodness I have an amazing boss and support system at work.  It just seems to be so much.

I'm worried about how I am going to keep up my nutrition while I'm away from home.  I brought some supplements, but need to get to a store for food to keep here.  Hubby isn't coming until Sunday.  We have already rescheduled the open house twice and need for it to go through Sunday....so he is staying to get things under control. I'm lucky to be with my family, but miss my husband terribly.  He's my rock...and I have to be strong for my sisters, brothers, and parents - I really need someone to be strong for me.

I have reflux for the first time since surgery - I think it's from the lack of food and sleeping flat on my back with not as many pillows as I'm accustomed to.  I hope this passes..... I think some of the stomach stuff is from nerves.  I always get funny stomach with stress/sadness.

I'm off....hopefully to be back soon.
<3
Laur

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Happy and Sad day....

Feb 18, 2010

Well, my brain is swimming.  I am thrilled with my appointment with my doctor.... he's happy with my loss so far and thinks I'm on track.  I can start soft solids on Monday - hooray for cheese!  =)  I'm all a-flutter at the thought of being able to actually chew something!  =)

On the sad side of things.... I just got a call from my brother.  My grandmother, who has been on hospice for about a week now, likely won't make it through the night.  My mom is with her now and I'm likely heading up there tonight.  She's 91, has been sick for a while and in the nursing home for a long time.....but it doesn't take the sting away.  She's my Nanni.  I may not see her often, but I love her so much.  I will miss just knowing she is here.  But there is some relief in knowing her beautiful soul will be free of her frail, broken body.  It's little solace today, though. 

I'm off to pack.  This will be quite the test of my ability to adapt on this journey.  Emotional eating? This will be quite the trial.  Hope my strength holds out.

Lots of love -
Laur  <3
2 comments

Happy Humpday! =)

Feb 16, 2010

This week is flying by.....and I'm grateful, actually.  I am longing to get back to work.....longing for some degree of "normalcy" to return to my (albeit less) food focused life.  Work is fulfilling for me - this hanging at home and "making my own amusement" stuff? So not for me.  I love to be on the go. 

I took some new afters today.....am still shocked at the change in such a short time.  I know it's the "honeymoon stage" of weight loss - but if things keep going as they are and I stay the course - this journey is going to continue to amaze me.  Staying focused day to day at home is not so hard.....my little trips out are my reality check.  I'm visiting family this weekend - taking the long trek to Scranton, PA (yes, the same place where The Office is based - and yes, Poor Richard's Pub IS a real place!  It better be, my brother is the bartender!) to see my family I haven't seen and catch up with some friends who have been so supportive along the way.  I'm surprising my friend Renee - who has been one of my biggest (non family) cheerleader - each little victory she celebrates for/with me.  I've known her since I'm 17 and she's an incredible friend.  i.e. Doing a cartwheel when I could eat puree the first time, sending me pics of her celebrating my victories, writing my new, lower weight on her back a'la tattoo and sending me the pic.  She's amazing.  I just love her.  I can't wait to see the look on her face when I walk into Poor Richard's!  =)

The scale this morning reads 314.5.  It's unbelievable to me.  I will soon be under 3.....I cannot remember the last time I was under 3.  I was working in acute care - but that was almost 4 years ago.  I'm so grateful for my sleeve and the journey it's taking me on.  It truly is a blessing. 

Thanks for reading..... ooh! I almost forgot!  New food alert! New food alert!  I got the suggestion from the ladies at my support group meeting not to get caught up in the "savory" approach to ricotta - last night I made my ricotta with cinnamon, splenda, and vanilla and VOILA!  Ricotta cheesecake!  Sooooooo tasty.  I highly recommend it!  =)  As Chelsea Handler would say - "I give this.........my blessing!"  I just love her......if only I were that funny.

Thanks again for reading.....ttys! =)
Laur  <3
1 comment

Awesome weekend....

Feb 15, 2010

Well, my birthday weekend was wonderful - my hubby and I spent some quality time together, did some shopping (he didn't like that so much, but I loved it), and went to Atlantic City for the day on Sunday.  It was a lot of fun and just what the doctor ordered!

Shopping was fun for one reason - jeans!  I was a solid 28 when I went into surgery - but Saturday, I grabbed a size 24 just for kicks and THEY FIT!  I was so psyched.  Thank goodness they were on sale, cause I was buying them regardless - they fit!  =)  I also bought some cute PJ's and a sweater hoodie - all on sale.  I love Avenue's clothes.  Sunday I actually made it through an entire day in Atlantic City without wanting to take a nap..... and even had lunch out.  Of course, I ordered soup, but they only served by the bowl - hardly worth the $4 for the tiny bit I ate.....my hubby said I should have just eaten some of his and saved the $$, I guess he's right....I'm really not worth buying an actual bowl of soup when I can only eat about 1/4 cup of it!  :-/

Yesterday was my big test.  I went out for the day by myself...... even spent some time at work to see how that would go.  I was there for 3 hours - not doing any real work related stuff, but I was there nonetheless.  I was WIPED when I got home.  I forgot how high energy I have to be there.  And all the running around.  Even there as a visitor, the pulling started - "Laurie, can you look at this?", "Laurie, can you talk to this patient really quickly?", "Laurie, I have to fill you in on a couple of things".  And the list went on and on and on.  I love my job - I just didn't think it would make me so tired in such a short period of time. 

After I left, I went to the local Goodwill and picked up some more jeans, in smaller sizes - 22s and 20s....I figure if I go through sizes fast, I want to be prepared.  I think Goodwill is going to be my new BFF......

Alright....I'm outtie.  Off to shoot myself up with blood thinner and have a pureed egg for b'fast.  I so hope that on Thursday they clear me for soft solids.....I would love to eat a piece of cheese.....not pureed......oh, to dream!

Later, all - Thanks for reading!  <3
1 comment

It's my BIRTHDAY!

Feb 12, 2010

I am so super excited it's my birthday..... although the number on associated with said birthday less than thrills me.  I'm 37 today.  I certainly don't FEEL 37, but that's the number....so I deal.  It actually feels like a whole new life for me now, with the WLS behind me, the new adventure in front of me.  And all the choices associated with.  It's a pretty exciting place to be.

Though, today will definitely be different.  Usually for my birthday, my hubby takes me to the Melting Pot fondue restaurant.  Obviously that's out this year.  "No fondue for you!" (sorry, channelling the soup Nazi, a'la Seinfeld)  I don't know what we'll do today.  Likely hit a movie....there are a few that we want to see.  We're also meeting our dear friends Kristen and John at this awesome pub and eatery called Buckley's - it's in Centreville, DE and it has the most amazing Thai coconut curry soup.  Thank goodness for soup....it's saves my social life!  =)

Well, I'm off to clean my house - we have people coming to look at it amidst all the excitement.  One of my cats is at the vets as we speak (DH is dropping him off), and then we're off.   Each day we have a showing I say as I walk out the door, "okay, house, sell yourself!"  It hasn't worked yet.  C'mon house - sell yourself!  You're an awesome house......THAT would be the best birthday present EVER.

Talk to you all soon - enjoy your day of LOVE...... I know I will. 
<3
Laurie  =)
4 comments

I have not blogged in a dog's age!

Feb 08, 2010

Or so it feels......

Things are going well!  I'm pleased to say I have gotten brave enough to ground deli turkey into my ricotta and survived the attempt with no ill effects.  I want to make tuna salad, but am afraid....will the fear ever end?  On the complete polar opposite end of things - I would LOVE to try to puree a Wawa meatball....I'm just sayin'.  They're THAT good.  Anyone who has a Wawa - give me a shout out!  They are to die for!  Granted, now it would take me a good hour to eat one, but hey - savor the flavor, right??

I'm getting my water and protein in.....some days are better than others - I'm relying a bit too much on the supplements IMHO, but it's getting the job done.  I have to foree into more natural proteins.  Although I have to say - ricotta is my new BFF......I heart thee.  You bring me protein and the *almost* promise of lasagna.  It's close enough for me. 

Let's see.....what's new?  Ohyeah - I'm in the 320's almost 3-teens.....that's pretty freakin' amazing, I must say.  I so need to get out to the gym and hit the treadmill - my MD better give me the OK to do that soon, I'm losing my mind (and muscle fibers) as I type.  I want to push myself physically - for the first time in a LONG time.  It's a new feeling to me....one I'm trying to wrap my head around.

Oh, and I'm trying to convince my hubby we need to go on a LONG vaca this summer - 2 weeks....at least.  I want to do all the things I couldn't do at 300....horseback riding, parasailing, helmet diving, all of it.  I'll be so thrilled not to be limited by a weight limit on an outing/excursion/event.  Not to mention, being able to walk everywhere without worrying about keeping up with hubby.  In fact, we were out yesterday and he asked ME to slow down.  Slowpoke.  hehe...... each day is an adventure!

Well, that's it for now.  Will keep you posted!  I'm loving my sleeve and am so happy I went for it - even with the little freakouts along the way.  And now........ tuna or egg salad.....not sure which.....but my goal is to try one of them without wigging out.  Wish me luck!  =)

<3
2 comments

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