January 2 and the reality of it all has hit home

Jan 02, 2009

Well I have a big dose of fear today. I know this is normal but darned it is intense. Questions arise such as am I sure I want to permanently alter my body or what will my health be like in 10 years from the malabsorption syndrome that is a consquence of the surgery. Will I be miserable over losing the food.

I have tried to look at this from both sides the good and the bad. I appreciate hearing about the negative parts but it has increased my fear too! I believe my apprehension comes from knowing I need this surgery desperately and wishing that I had other options that I believed would help me take this weight off my body. At 52 years of age I haven't and hundreds of diets and gimmicks later nothing has worked. 

I am an optimist at heart but I am also a realist. The nurse part of my brain tells me this is the best decision I can make for myself.  I know I really don't have a choice. I have lost weight in the past but always regained it. I lack faith in myself and this is what prompts me towards this surgery. I know statistically the odds of keeping the weight off without surgery are very low 1-5% so that prompts me towards this surgery. I know I will feel so physically whole after the surgery and the weight comes off and that prompts me towards this surgery. But the non-nurse part of me says Help I am scared today.

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