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I can't believe I haven't posted in a month!  Yikes!  My 15 month surgiversary is tomorrow.  I'm still popping between 138 and 141 pounds.  I'm hoping to get down to 135.  But, let's face it.  I'm 43 years old, been heavy since birth, and I'm 5'8" tall.  Maybe 135 just isn't in the cards. lol

Things have been business as usual here.  We start back at school on Wednesday, September 3.  My baby will be in Middle School.  Middle School.  Who came up with that dopey name.  It's Junior High for goodness sake.  So, I'm going through that depression anyway.  I'm one of those moms who LOVES having her child around.  I hate school time.  But, it is good that we have that break during the day.  Any break seems good I guess.  I still work for Mark full time and unpaid.  It sucks and he knows I'm pissed about it.

Susie and I are starting to really work on our biz.  I was so excited when I got "small".  I still don't see myself as "small" but I guess I am.  So, I ordered some stuff last night and need to start doing some learning.  I've been excited about our biz for a long time.  But, then the depression sets in very heavy and then I could care less.  Hopefully it'll pass once and for all.

I just purchased two tickets for the OH event in Philly in October.  I'm not sure who is going with me but I don't want to go by myself.  So, we'll see who the lucky tag along will be. LOL  All in all I'm really excited about going!  I just have to make a cute button to wear. :)

So, not much going on with me!  I'm still in size 4.  Britt picked me out an adorable skirt, size small, to go with my new suede boots.  Oh, the BOOTS!  I've NEVER in my life been able to zip boots over my chubby calves.  Baby, these boots zip so easy and with room to spare!  I'll take a pic of them later.  Anyway, back to the size small skirt.  I put it on and, SHIT, it was HUGE!!!  So, I'm going to sew a cute jumper to go with my boots.  Thank goodness I can sew or I'd be screwed.  Where do the small people shop???

Well, it's been a while since I posted an update.  My weight continues to bounce between 138 and 141.  I guess that's a good thing.  I've been doing some "stress eating" lately.  I guess it could be worse.  Thank goodness my pouchy complies.  It stops me before things could get REALLY bad.

I continue to work for free.  It SUCKS and I'm sick of it.  Why do people "assume" their spouse is happy to work for their business for free?  My mom NEVER worked for my dad for free.  He wouldn't do that.  But, for some reason, my husband seems to think daily lunch at Cracker Barrel should be payment enough.

I continue to beg for money so I can get my business venture off the ground.  Funny how we took every dime from paychecks to start his business but mine is a "hobby".  Let's not talk about "him" anymore.  Makes me want to grab another homemade brownie.

My health is pretty okay.  I'm still battling the cellulitis in my left leg.  The antibiotics didn't do a thing.  I haven't walked in weeks.  Frankly, having the leg down for an extended period of time makes it blow up into a huge purple mess.  I try not to let it get me down but it freaking HURTS!

But, I do have a semi-fun project going.  I'm chairing our 25th high school reunion committee.  I've spent LOTS of time online searching addresses.  The database isn't too bad since I spent a year gathering all the info for our 20th reunion. LOL  For the first time...EVER...I'm looking forward to seeing these people.  I was teased and tormented pretty bad in school.  I'm smaller now than I was in 1973 in 3rd grade!  I can't WAIT for them to see me now!!!!  I can't wait to get a gorgeous dress for this one! lol

So, I saw Dr. Iqbal on Tuesday.  I'm up a few pounds but I know that's from the dreaded constipation.  He told me to take a fiber supplement, mix it in my first water of the day and I should be fine.  Mark commented that "he" thinks I'm too small.  I was 142 in the office.  Told Doc I'd been down to 138.8 and thought it was cool.  He told me, in front of Mark, that I could still lose if I'd like to. HA!  I'm NOT too small.   Take that Massa!  But, all in all, I'm doing great.  I feel great too.  I'm not exercising like I should due to the cellulitis in the left leg just above my inner ankle.  It still hurts a lot but I'm dealing.  I'm not a gym bunny either.  I know a LOT of people workout at the gym like maniacs post-op.  It's not my thing.  Never was and never will be.  Sure, I joined a gym in November.  I think I went four times.  It's not due to lack of motivation.  It's due to lack of time.  I'm still a stay-home mom.  Any of you who have that job KNOW it's a full-time job.  Add to that working from home for Mark.  The man can be sitting right at the work phone but does he answer....no.  He think it's "more professional sounding for a girl to answer the phone".  Think I'm married to a sexist Redneck?  I think so too.  And, I'm still trying to get my business off the ground.  Hard to find time to hit a gym when you're already booked 38 hours a day.  So, power to all of you who can work out like maniacs.  Lift a few weights for me too!

So, here's my weekly laugh.  If you've read my blog you KNOW Mark's been less than supportive, well, since the minute I got home from the hospital May 28, 2007.  He's tipping the scale around 300 lbs.  He's only like 5'9".  So, not good!  He told Doc he's thinking about doing it.  It took all my energy not to laugh and fall off the exam table.  Mr. Soup or salad, appetizer, main course and dessert is gonna do this?  So, Doc knows how less than helpful and supportive Mark's been.  He went full-speed ahead into the "this is a lifetime commitment" speech.  And, I told him in the car if he thought for one second I'd baby him he's crazier than shit.  So, I had to let you all know of the big joke around my house.  Mark having RNY.  I guess stranger things have happened.  Now if he'd just get his ass out of bed before 10 am.  That, too, doesn't sit well with a stay-home mom who is supposed to be manning the phones by 8:30.

So, today I was back down to 141.8.  Let's take this RNY out for a ride and see how low we can go. LOL

So, I was going up and down the scale the last few weeks.  I went as high as (GASP!) 145!  I'm not necessarily eating "less".  I seem to be eating better.  I'm able to eat a whole kiddie meal at Cracker Barrel now.  But, then I got addicted to their sourdough french toast.  I think that's what did it.  Then it was a bagel in the morning and, there ya have it.  Weight gain!  Yikes!  So, I've laid off the bagel and have been eating chicken instead of french toast.  So, my scale was at 138.8 this morning!  Yippee!  Of course, going below 140 has NOT made my hubby happy.  Mr. Miserable thinks I'm doing all this on purpose.  Hello?  I had a small (not kid's!) soft serve custard last night with M&Ms!  Is that the sign of someone who is TRYING to lose?  Okay, I don't do that every night but it was fun. LOL  I'm not TRYING to lose anything.  But, for some reason, my scale (and body) still haven't found their happy landing area.  I was pretty sure the number to be was 142.  I bounced between 141 and 145 for weeks and weeks.  Most days it said around 142.  So, to see 13anything on the scale is a shock!  Watch, he'll order me a pizza tonight. LOL

So, up and down she goes.  Where my scale stops....nobody knows!

So, if you've been following my blog for any amount of time you know I'm kinda treated like a maid/cook/housekeeper/errand boy/etc. instead of a member of a family.  I've been unknowingly battling cellulitis in my lower left leg for about a month.  I just thought it was a bruise.  The ER doctor put me on Bactrim and told me to stay out of the sun and keep it elevated with warm compresses 4 times a day for 30 mins. each.  This morning I got up, started chores and looked outside.  YIKES!  The grass was way high.  Knowing I'm not "supposed" to be on the leg it was just tough.  So, an hour and 15 minutes later I was done with the lawn.  But, I hopped on my scale before hitting the shower and it said 139.6!  Yippee!!!!

I've come to realize that the smaller I get, the more chores are dumped on me.  He is WAY over the weight limit for our ladder so guess who gets to cut down limbs and clean out gutters now.  I know, aren't I so lucky!  So, sometimes I'm PISSED that I've lost all this weight.  Sure, I feel a lot better and certainly look better, but I've got even more jobs than before!  I can still eat pretty well and unfortunately the stress eating has returned.  I was as high as 145 last week.  And, yes, it was all my fault.  I eliminated the "crap" food and here I am in the 130s now.  So, sometimes stress eating is good.  It's a nice, hard slap in your face when that scale zooms up.  It sure woke me up.

So, in the long run the surgery has been both a blessing and a curse.

Well, a year ago today my whole life changed for the better!  I walked into the hospital miserable and FAT.  My surgery was at 11 am and I was in recovery by about 1 pm.  I had no pain whatsoever.  I actually asked if the surgery happened because I wasn't sore. LOL  I look back and look at pictures of the old me.  Sometimes I miss her.  It sure wasn't hard for her to sit for long periods of time. LOL  But, I absolutely LOVE my new life.  My mom and aunt must have gone to JCPenneys.  They know I'm kind of lacking in the clothing department.  So, with a buy one get the second for 99 cents sale, they bought me a pair of white capris and khaki capris.  Each pair was $30 and, with coupons and the deal, they got both pair for about $26. LOL  And, best yet, they're size 4 and fit beautifully!  This time last year I was wearing size 26.  It's been an incredible year.  In this year I've gone from 265.8 pounds to my present 139.8 pounds.  I've lost 126 pounds.  That's incredible to me.

We were so busy getting ready for a cookout that I didn't get my official pics done today.  We're doing them tomorrow.  And, for fun, my best friend and I are posing in my old jeans. LOL  With our weights together, we almost add up to the "old" me. LOL  THAT is frightening.

So, we had a big cookout to celebrate my new life.  My folks were here, my Susie was here, and Susie's ex-hubby was here.  We all had a great time.  But, to make it more special, I was able to celebrate my day with the people who have supported me the most.  I was so thrilled to share it with all of them.

Today would have been my one-year surgiversary.  Two days before they called and said they had to move it to the 25th.  No biggie.  What's two days.  Well, 25 must be my lucky number because I ALWAYS hit my milestones on the 25th of the month.  I've been jumping between 142 and 144 for about 6 grueling weeks.  My body must know the 25th is coming because the scale has been moving like crazy this week.  So, imagine my shock when this popped up on my scale this morning:

I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to have this surgery.  I'm so thankful that I've had no complications.
I'm so thankful my friends aren't jealous.  I'm so thankful that they're more than supportive and will even do the 5 mile walk in the rain with me!  We just use really BIG umbrellas.  But, I'm really thankful for the support of my baby girl.  I pray every day that she doesn't have to have surgery to get herself under control.

So, if I hit this on what "would" have been my surgiversary, wonder what my magic number will be in two days!!!  Stay tuned!!!!

So, I was fighting getting a cold for weeks and BAM it's here.  I've been stuffed up for about 4 days and barely have a voice.  Yes, this is a welcome relief to all who live here. LOL  But, with shrinkage comes my total hatred of shopping.  Yes, I am a female and STILL HATE to go clothing shopping.  I've been wearing my Sarah Jessica Parker size 6 jeans for weeks.  These are the only jeans I own in a size that fits so I wash them almost every night.  They were like $9 and I love them.  But, as time goes by, I've noticed they're getting pretty baggy.  Mark gave me a $50 gift card for Walfart for Mommy Day.  We went down today and I got a pair of size 4 Levis and size 4 skort.  Woohoo!  I am solidly in a size 4.  He has DEMANDED I not get any smaller.  Uh, how do I do that???? lol  I can't wait to see the surgeon next month (how could he NOT see me during my surgiversary month??? ) so I can ask him how we STOP losing. LOL  He'll be relieved to get that question after so many months of "am I losing enough?  will i "really" get to 150?, etc., etc.".  Thank goodness Dr. Iqbal loves us all.   I plan to wear my lightest clothes and am praying I get to "my" final 139 goal before I see him.  I'm hovering between 142.5 and 143 so I should make it.  Let's just say I HOPE I make it. lol  But, I put on my pre-op jeans today and FINALLY saw what everyone else has seen for a while.  I AM SMALL!!!  And, with my size 4 jeans, I am OFFICIALLY smaller than my mom!  Woohoo!  I can't wait to see her tomorrow.  I'm keeping the tag on the jeans for a laugh.

Btw, my parents celebrate their 44rd anniversary today!  They're such terrific people.  My dad has an incredible sense of humor and so does my mom.  They're such a terrific match.  Steve and I are SOOOOOOOOO blessed to have such terrific parents.  And, whether they like it or not, we've already started planning their 45th anniversary party next year.  Steve's son graduates later this month (WOOHOO!) so I'm taking a picture of the whole group then.  I can't wait to post it.  Mom just turned 68 on May 5th.  She sure doesn't look it!  I pray every day that I can be a fantastic mom just like the mom I have.

Ya know, I *know* today is this mystical holiday called Mother's Day.  I just wish I knew what the hell it was supposed to mean.  I got up at 7 am.  My daughter and husband were still sleeping.  I did the shower thing, got dressed, sent the dog out and realized Britt was up and quiet.  The fucking cat knocked over the vase on the table, got glass and water everywhere.  The flowers were from Britt's recital last night.  We put them in something else and i told Britt to put them in her room and close the door.  I got the water cleaned up and all the glass cleaned up.  Yup, I knew today would be like every other day.

So, what is Mother's Day supposed to be?  As I see it, it's like any other day.  I know some moms are treated like princesses on this day.  Frankly, I know some moms who are treated like princesses EVERY day.  Me?  I'm on my fourth load of laundry, cleaned the kitchen, got my mom a gift, and have been cleaning the living room disaster created by costumes and stuff from Britt's recital yesterday.  So, for me, it's like any other work filled day.  Britt's downstairs playing Diablo on the computer.  Mark was supposed to cut the grass.  So, looks like I'll be doing that tonight or tomorrow.

Screw this Mother's Day shit.  I told them I don't even want to know when it is next year.

Well, whatever my mystery pain was is gone.  Today was our second day back to walking.  I'm feeling great again!  The weather is gorgeous, it's finally getting warm in South Jersey and things are fabulous!

So, Mark left for Washington, DC this afternoon for an expo. Of course, this is Britt's dance recital week so I'm left to my own defenses. LOL My goofy weight has been bouncing from 142.8 to 144.3 for weeks and weeks. I've been comfy in my size 6 jeans. A few Juniors things I can wear a 7 or 9. Totally cool. So, I got a $10 off any $10 purchase coupon from Fashion Bug. On the way to the college for recital practice I realized this was the last day for that coupon. How can you lose a $10 off $10 purchase coupon? So, we went in and I tried on some skorts. I'm okay with shirts but seriously lacking in the bottoms department. I tried on an 8 and it was huge. Huh??? I just chalked it up to being one of those low-rise things that I hate. I asked Britt to get me a 6. Well, 11 years olds don't do more than you ask so the size 4 and size 6 had their tags twisted together. Far be it for Britt to untwist them and bring me the 6. She says "I brought them both just in case." For a laugh I tried on the 4 first. WHAT???? ME???? Not only did I try it on but it FREAKING FIT!!!!!! I was so excited I had to call Mark as he was driving. He just laughed, asked if I'd danced around the dressing room doing my dance and yelling "I'm in a size 4! I'm in a size 4!" and to just get it in whatever colors I wanted. Okay, I'll fess up. I did do my happy dance and sing my song. I just didn't tell him.

So, today, May 6, 2008, just 19 days short of my 1 year surgiversary.....I BOUGHT SIZE 4 SKORTS!!!!!! The funniest part? This time last year I was in size 26!

Can you tell I love my RNY????