Here I am

Jan 19, 2010

It's January already!!!!  I can't believe I haven't blogged in so long.  I now work full time days and life is pretty busy.  I hit my eighteen month milestone and feel pretty good.  I have fallen off track so to speak as far as falling into old habits.  I haven't gone over the edge, but have come pretty close.  I now weigh 137-139lbs!!!  I feel as though this is absolutely terrible!!  My jeans are a little snug and I HATE that feeling.  My addictive tendencies have come full circle recently and I feel somewhat out of control, as far as food is concerned. No I don't gorge on pizza and fried chicken, but do I eat when I'm not hungry...YES.  Do I mindlessly graze...YES!  I feel like this answer to my prayers, was just another failed attempt on my part to change my life.  My husband and I don't EVER have a rational conversation about this subject, because I am instantly on the defensive!  He doesn't know what or how to say anything to me about it, so we usually end up angry.  I don't really have too many people I can talk to about it.  I have a couple friends, but I guess I'm looking to him to be the person I can go to.  I have to accept that this is MY struggle, and to rely on him to say just the right thing is unrealistic.  Anyway, I realize now that the honeymoon is over, and I need to face the reality that I NEED to exercise and I NEED to stay away from junk and I NEED to cut my husband some slack.

0 Comments