MiaR

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Well It's been a while since I've been on here. Since I started my program for my surgery my husband got orders for Pensacola. That STOPPED my surgery plans short. I would have to go through the entire program all over again. Not to mention the fact that where I am now does not have the hospital I would have has in San Diego. I kind of view it as a blessing.

Since having gone through all the pre-op classes and diet classes I feel like I have a the knowledge I need to go this on my own without surgery. Right now I am on the post-op diet. (Day 5 to be exact) I don't know what it's like for those of you who have had the surgery so I can't say if it would have been easier to have surgery.  I am starving most of the time. I've been praying my way through it and so far my unofficial weight loss is 10lbs in the last 5 days. I feel sick and really loopy, but I'm pushing through it. I'd have to do the same thing if I had gone through my surgery so I'm going on as if I had.

It's taken all the energy I have just to get dressed in the morning. When I read through blogs on here, it's not unlike what most of you feel like post-op. Having said that, I feel like some of my experiences will be quite a bit the same as some of yours. I'm looking forward to my journey and getting through this first part. It's rough!!!

Well it's back to work for me. I'm now over the hump of getting used to the blood pressure meds and I'm feeling much better. That means       Exercise, Exercise, Exercise.    I started this morning with a 3 mile walk. I will try to walk some more tonight. I've been keeping myself really busy with my music. I've been writing a new song,  prepared for an open mic night this past weekend and now I am getting ready to launch a photography fellowship here in San Diego next month. I'm also teaching a photography class once a month. SO I don't have a whole lot of time to sit and eat, but I don't have a whole lot of time to exercise either. The NUT. told me that I should be exercising 6 days a week. WHAT? There is NO stinkin' way I'm gonna be able to pull that off. I'm still playing around with the 12lbs. that I have left to lose so I don't know what I'm going to do. Keep at it I guess. I REALLY wanted to  be able to make my apt. to get my surgery date when I went in for my final  NUT. apt. We shall see!!

Took the pre-op and post-op classes this week and took the test they give you after. Met with the Nut. and have lost 4 of the 14lbs. that I have to lose. Oldest daughter broke her arm and the upstairs bathroom flooded which leaked into the kitchen. Now there is no ceiling and I can't use the kitchen until Monday. Are you kidding me? Life is moving in a whirl wind all around me and all I can say is, "I'm tired"!  I'm not eating to get through it though. I don't even want to if you can believe that. I would like to scream.....but not eat! I think that's progress PTL!!!

Well things are back to normal somewhat. I saw the Nut. this week and this is my last apt. until April. I should get my surgery date in April as well (assuming I've lost the 14lbs I have to lose). She told me not to set the goal of 130lbs that the doc. gave me. She explained that it's really unrealistic and that I should be happy with about 177. I almost got irritated thinking that I'm not going through all of this to be 177lbs. (Which is still overweight) But then I remembered why I'm having the surgery to begin with. I want to be healthy! So if my body evens out at 177, fine! If I get to 150...great. If it's 130....fabulous. Where ever I end up, it'll be a far cry from where I began. So we'll see how it goes.

I've been on the ball with all of this so this weekend I'm going to Palomar Mountain to rest. When I get back on Monday, it's exercise, exercise, exercise. I think this will really help me to clear my head and get my mind set for the diet. I've never been very successful with dieting so I don't want to sabotage myself before I even start. I think this is where people really fail with the program. They give up before they even have the surgery. 14lbs. isn't that much compared to what I have to lose. I know I can't lose 144lbs on my own. But I can lose 14. So that is what i'm going to focus on. That's all I can focus on at this point.

Have a great weekend!!

I went in for my annual physical and came out with a Rx for Lisinopril. My blood pressure was 170/94. The doc was having a fit when she came in. I'm not sure what my surgeon is going to say when he finds out about this. I'm glad we caught it now because if we didn't, they may not have done my surgery at all. It's just one thing after another. I really just want to wake up and this all be over with. One can dream can't she?

Went to a support group session at Balboa on Tuesday night and it really helped a lot. It was amazing to see the progress all the post-op people have made. I have a sea of emotions going on right now and it was good to just sit back and listen to everything they had to say about it. I met some really great ladies that are pre-op as well so I hope they continue to go to group. I think it makes the waiting a little easier.

On a lighter note, I'm heading off to see Cirque Du Soleil tonight. It will be good to just be entertained a little and relax. I don't remember the last time I was able to do that. We have really great seats so I'm excited for that.

Nothing to post on weight at the moment. It's whatever I guess. It will come off eventually I'm sure. I don't even want to dwell on it right now. It'll only stress me out!

I'm off!

Yesterday was a good day. I walked 4 miles before lunch with the family and it was really nice. My husband told me how proud of me he was that I wasn't giving up. That felt really good. He has always been very good at supporting me and encouraging me.

Last night, I thought I was going to die. The whole family has joined this school for Kung Fu. The kids love it, DH loves it. So I go to my class and boy it kicked my butt. I'm generally very flexible and coordinated, but this pushed me beyond what I am used to. The movements were so controlled and of course I felt like a total idiot doing it. I was the only female in the class and of course the biggest. I made it through the class having done everything the rest of the class did, but I was beat when it was over.

On a good note, I was down 1.1lbs this morning. I'm getting in at least 70gr. of protein a day and all of my water. I'm on a daily vitamin program and my calorie and fat intake has been on a normal level. I think this is progress and I feel successful already. Or at least possitive. It's a start!

I had my gallbladder ultrasound yesterday. Everything is moving in the right direction but it seems to have really slowed down quite a bit. I am trying to stay busy to keep my mind off of the surgery and the process. Last night I played and sang at an Open Mic Nite at San Diego Bible Church. Preparing for that helped and now I'm getting my music ready for the women's retreat in Palomar Mountain. 
 
I'm getting in a lot of exercise but my weight isn't moving one bit. My body naturally builds muscle very quickly so I am losing inches but my weight is staying the same. GRRRRR I think this is the reason why I get so frustrated with dieting and give up. I know I have to do this to reduce my liver size, but it sucks! I can't wait to go to the support group meeting on Tuesday. I really want to do everything I can on my end to ensure my success with the surgery. I'm setting up a lot of different points for support so I don't exhaust any in the process.

I still haven't told any of my family. (for the exception of my sister) I don't think I'm going to. I really don't want them to worry unnecessarily. Knowing my mom she'll freak out for months. Then I'll have to spend my energy supporting her. Not a good situation for me. As for the rest of the fam......well I just don't feel like hearing it to tell you the truth. So to avoid any more stress on me, I'm going to forego spreading the information for now.

That's it for the moment. The days are dragging, but for good reason I'm sure. It's giving me a chance to focus on what is important. One day at a time ( as if it were possibIe to live 2 ).
 
Until next time..........

Well I have my upper GI this morning and while I was getting ready I realized that this is all feeling very surreal. In fact, this has been the longest weekend of my life I think. I actually gained almost a pound which sets me back a little. I rode my bike 4 miles and walked a mile over the weekend and I gain? Are you kidding me?

So it's back to the grind. I literally have to watch every single carb that comes near my face. It's almost like an allergic reaction. Eat carbs, blow up like a balloon. A lead balloon that is! I feel like my mind is ready to be done with this weight but my body is holding on to it. My body and mind aren't communicating very well right now so I think I may have to beat this thing into submission. I just wish it didn't hurt so much.

I'm off.

Yesterday I got a vitamin B1 & B6 shot and I was up all stinkin' night. Then up for good at 5am ready to wash base boards. I feel like I can swing from vines now. I'm not exactly sure what that stuff is supposed to do for you, but it made me ready for the day that is for sure. LOL

I'm keeping track of my calories and getting in lots of protein. I think I've lost some inches because my clothes are fitting better. I am hoping to get the 14lbs off that I need. I also went to the psych apt. yesterday and was cleared for surgery. Not exactly sure how. I mean when you have a therapist tell you "WOW!  That must have been hard for you", you kinda think there might be something wrong. LOL But alas, it turns out I am only mildly insane and fit for surgery! One less thing to do!

Until next time~