Blog here, blog there...ho hum

Nov 16, 2009

 ok regarding the drainage issues I had...Yeah I went to the docs ofc today, they said b/c i had a hematoma after surgery thats just drainage and the other one the steri strips just came off, so they reapplied those.  She also gave me some antibotics to be on the safe side.  All's well.

I actually get sick to my stomach thinking of drinking crystal light and broth so I on to pureed food. I ate some applesauce and some cream of chicken soup and was fine.  I was concerned about not  feeling too full so i measured and stuck to it, but after reading on the forums about the nerves having to grow back, I feel better. 

I went ahead and bought some Biactric Advantage vitamins and man they taste sooooo good.  Good choice. 

One concern I had was the simple fact that I gained 10 lbs in the hospital due to all the complications and IV fluid and 4 pints of bld transfusion.  I know they have all told me it will subside in about 2 wks, but it still makes me feel a bit bad to see others who had theirs the same day/wk already loosing.  Of the 10 I have gained, I have lost 7 of them, and my last IV was on Sat, I should feel good right?  My ankles and feet are still quite swollen though.  I guess this concern is a selfish petty one, but hey, it's me.

To offset my concern though, I was told I was doing good to be out doing so much so quick after surgery.  I dont have any pains whatsoever so the pain meds are null, no ulcers were found, I do feel like I have massive energy at the start of the day.  By the end of the day my abdomen feels "heavy"...I try to take it real easy then.  I have did long distance driving already.  Feet swoll even more, but it was a neccessity since my doc ofc is 1.5 hrs away.

I am proud of myself to actually get in water,protein and like what I ate today.  I went to smoothie King for their Gladiator, it was kinda chalky, but you cant beat the amt of protein in one sml cup...though I am unable to eat it all so one cup lasts a week frozen. 

well thats enough for me...still cant believe I had the surgery...cant wait for a yr turnaround.
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Post op updating

Nov 15, 2009

Thanks you all for the insight.  I have all my info from the doc/discharge/NUT, I just wanted to see what a normal person went through.  I am not really taking the pain meds.  I have taken it twice today to see if it would help with anything I am feeling, but nothing too different has been felt.  I was able to get a good sleep in, but I can't get too many of those while I'm home alone with my son.  I went walking this morning to help with the gas.  Some passed and it was nice to just get out. I wasnt winded either from the walk.  Of course I took it slow.  As for eating....I havent wanted any.  I'm trying to get on point with my supplements and my water.  I can drink two sips of water and be super full.  I really hope that loosens up soon b/c I def dont want to be dehydrated.  I am too through with the liquid diet though .UGhhhhhhh is all I can say.  Man, hmmm I may need to hit Sonic's for a big cup of ice. I do have to admit my wall of terror against WANTING food has been great.  My family has eaten out and these commericals are enticing.  With my hospital room being right across from the caferteria helped I guess. 

Now my incisions are a different story.  I have one that just wont stop oozing blood.  I am doing well with my wound care, but that may be an issue at my post op visit. No signs of infection yet. 

I havent visited mr scale yet due to all the swelling I had/have.  I have swelling still in my arms, legs and stomach.   An IV is no joke.

Ok thats all for now, back to the couch I go.

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Welcome home is woozy for me

Nov 14, 2009

Hey all. I am back home and still felling kinda woozy. I only expected to stay in the hospital until a day after surgery but that did not happen.  I had surgery on Tues and was just releases Sat morning.  I had a very very very rough first night with the gas, but when that subsided I had a very hard time with the pain meds and nausea meds.  They literally gave me a hangover and since noone knew at first, I was getting a hangover on top of a hangover which equals to a really bad migraine.  One of the nurses picked up on it b/c I kept saying I have a headache and  not any other pains.  With that issue I also had an incision cite to split and I bleed out so it became a hematoma.  I had to have 4 pints of bld transfusion.  So with all of that and multiple bags of iv fliud I am well  bloated and was told i should see some weight loss in about 2wks.  So that's where I am. Glad to be back home, still woozy.  I will write more later,
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Almost on the loosing bench-2 days

Nov 08, 2009

Well each day I get closer to my surgery the more I see God telling me "it's going to be okay...I got this...trust in me and only me".  I must admit I am hungry.  Not hungry b/c...o who cares, I'm just hungry.  I am about to trade hunger for pain, lol.  I had to laugh to myself on that. 

Today I tried the Isopure Plus protein drink...NASTY! I tried the Swanson Broth..NASTY.  So tomorrow I will out to the store to find something better.  Hmmm I may need to hit up the Baratric Advantage website.  I did realize something though.  I was feeling sad b/c I kept thinking I would not be able to eat again the things I like...but actually I am just trading up for smaller healthier portions.  I can make fish taste damn good and let's not get on the shrimp.  I just will have to manuver my taste buds differently, i.e that nasty Swanson broth-smells like puke to me...forreal.

I think I am also tired of all the research I have been doing. Reading reading reading, but the more I know, the better. 

ok I need to get some sleep.  I am a procrastinator so tomorrow before my mom comes to help out so I need to do some spring cleaning.  You know how it is when your moms comes to your house.  Yep I had a chance to do it earlier, but..last minute is when I get it done quick and right. 

gn
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I have to vent...selfish

Nov 04, 2009

Ok I am really upset right now.  Not mad upset, but just disappointed things are not working out the way I planned.  Well my husband is away doing training for his military job,  He will be gone until at least 10 days after my Nov 10 date.  So I am a psuedo single mom.  So Ive been trying to arrange someone to be here with me and my son while I am recovering.  Well all that was planned fine with my bestfriend coming, but now her child has become sick, my friend is also now sick and her vehicle is down with a $1200 repair bill.  How can I expect her to come to take care of me when she needs to not only be at home to take care of her child, but also she would need to take care of herself and inconvenience her family if she has the only vehicle that is working.  Now if all the illness was not in the picture and the issue was her vehicle, we worked it so her husband would drive her part way, they are in ATL, and then while here she could use one of our 3 vehicles.  Ok, with all that said, that's not whats going on.  They ARE sick and one of their vehicles is down and again I am not going to make someone inconvenience their family for me..ugh. 

OK here's the other bit.  So you are saying we'll what about your family?  Well my moms is not the most supportive person in the world.  Not only is she not supporting me on having this surgery, she has not offered any type of support.  With that said...I have no family support. Ugh again. So the only thing I can think to do is to reschedule my surgery date until my husband gets home.  I could cry.  I have been supporting everyone else, doing this military wife thing, this military mom while daddy in Iraq thing and bending over backwards to help others in my family and now when I want to do something for myself...literally for myself, I am stopped again for others.  Ughhhh I know it sounds selfish, but I really wanted this done for myself.  I have been working hard to get to this surgery date.  Hard...I'm just so disappointed.  I just want to cry. 
4 comments

Loosing inches

Nov 03, 2009

I havent lost anymore lbs, but I know I am loosing inches.  I was just able to pull my jeans off without unbuttoning/unzipping them.  Nice.  I also just put my too small cloths back on the hangers and back into the closet.  Soon I will be taking the TOO BIG cloths off the hangers and putting them away.  I am going to keep them though for that impending pregnancy we are planning right after my 1 yr anniversary.

Luv ya'll...Niki
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Pre-op today, 7 more days until surgery!!!

Nov 03, 2009

Hi all.  I've been trying to keep myself busy lately and not focus on husband gone and surgery on 11/10. The excitement of the surgery is actually helping with missing my husband though.  I am also busy trying to keep my son straight as his daddy is gone.  I don't know what or why it is, but he gets out of line in school when his daddy is away.  I discipline him, I show him extra attention...I don't know how to solve it.  I just know I need to get a hold of it now, because being a military family daddy being gone is a constant throughout the year.  It's weird, today I tried the act up in school so no outside, no tv, video games and you do more homework and chores and I made him take a nap when he got home after his snack....well he is still asleep.  Imagine that...I kep checking on him to make sure he is ok, but I guess he needed it.  The Lord knows what he is doing, so I will pray for peace and let it go.

As for my pre-op appt, it went smoothly.  I dont know why but I am always expecting other ppl to be so excited.  They are excited for me thats for sure, then I think "so you think I am fat?".  But you know I was thinking today.  No one has ever treated me wrongly around me since I have been an adult about being overweight.  It's weird b/c we think all is staring and talking about you and my self esteem has def suffered due to obesity...but all in all I have not been mistreated by anyone.  So then I began to realize I am the one who has mistreated myself.  I am the one who has degraded myself to thinking everyone is staring and talking about me  Now these thoughts also went along with me thinking I need to also get "behind" the obesity in a mental/emotional way along with the physical changes I am making.  They say the mental/emotional is the hardest.  I dont want to go to a therapist so I am going to use this OH blog as an outlet.  I believe it will help.

So again with the pre-op appt...there was a bit of a mix up with my surgery date.  They told me 11/10, but they had me down for 11/5...yes 2 days away!!!! Sounded good, but I have been organizing everything for the 10th, the 5th just would not work.  As much as I want the skinny to start, I have to not rush this and put everyone, includng myself, in a mad rush. I still need to finish spring cleaning my house before my friend comes to watch over me for a week.   So with that fixed, I did some bld work so they could know my bld type incase of a transfusion is needed, took a UA with a preg test (i was praying I wasnt) and I did an EKG.  They said that was normal.  I also met with the Anesthesiaolgist who was really acted like he was very overworked and uninterested.  I didnt let it bother me though, not everyone is going to be excited in this journey.

Oh yeah I got a call from my grandma today.  Grandma doesnt call anyone.  I wasnt so surprised she called, but I knew it had to do with the surgery.  My mom, aunts and uncle are all against me having it.  I must admit it didnt even phase me too much to hear them say " no you shouldnt have it".  Thats the good thing about being grown.  I'm grown now.  I listen and I evaluate and I pray...and I go bout MY way.  What got me though was they were against it, but not a one did any research on the procedure, they didnt even ask me about the procedure or the journey. And get this, they are all obese 300+. I just smiled and changed the subject.  I love them to death, but I dont want it to be my death...you feel me.

Luv ya'll...Niki
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The countdown is on...

Oct 27, 2009

today husband leaves for military training
5 days until pre-op appt
12 days until surgery!
22 days until hubby comes home

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Illusions

Oct 27, 2009

I think I am full of illusions.  I am weighing in at 285 and I feel like I am 150 lbs.  I mean of course I cant wear what a 150er wears, but I walk like one, I don't get out of breath going up the stairs and I...now as I think as I write I am really full of illusions.  Fat is fat, not matter how much flexibility and walking and the "what I can do" on it.  That is one problem that got me to where I am today, the illusion that I am not fat.  I know the word fat may be offensive to some, but it's a way to face reality for me.  If I stay this way, not only will I get bigger, but comorbids will start and then complications thereof will lead to death...point blank.  I'm nervous...I'm scared I'm going to smell sweet potato pie, forget I had surgery, eat it and get drastically sick.  I am afraid I am going to yearn for a soda or some chocolate so bad I go crazy.  Is this normal?

I still have yet to tell my facebook friends about my surgery.  I really think they will judge me.  I havent seen most of those ppl since 2001 and then I wasnt obese, I was a nice thick.  I wonder if they will judge me and think I am crappy b/c I let myself go.  Most of my friends post their workout schedules, running marathons, etc and me I am having surgery.  Do I feel bad?  Not really in the general scheme of things, b/c I know to even be approved and have my insurance be paying for it is a HUGE blessing in itself.  The simple fact that there is a procedure that can help me when I didnt help myself and it will continue to help me throughout my life is a lifelong blessing.

I guess I am nervous and hungry.  I am doing this pre-op diet and i must say, I AM HUNGRY.  I have lost lbs, but again I am hungry.  I cant wait until this feelings lessens. 

Ok i guess this is enough...the family is asleep so I guess I will get some more me time in before I hit the sack.  Thanks OH community for listening with support and encouragements.
1 comment

Holy Grail

Oct 25, 2009

Man this site is like the holy grail of encouragement!  It's like weight loss best kept secret.  Yet another blessing I found on my WLS journey.
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About Me
North Little Rock, AR
Location
40.7
BMI
RNY
Surgery
11/10/2009
Surgery Date
Oct 23, 2009
Member Since

Before & After
rollover to see after photo
Before
343lbs
After, October 2023
230lbs

Friends 38

Latest Blog 31

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