negrasmommy

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I'm back... Been meaning to blog for a while but haven't felt like doing much of anything... LOL... It's only been in the last 4-5 days that I've begun to feel like my "normal" self, again.
I had my surgery on 6/3/08! So, freakin' excited!!! I'm doing great now but it was rough for the first week or so... I don't know how the hell they tell people that they can drive & all this other sh*t (lol) cuz I sure couldn't!!
I had the gas situation REALLY bad, oh my!!! That was the worse... My day would start out ok & by mid-afternoon I would be so super-bloated; it felt like my belly was going to burst! HAHAHAHAHA... AND, whenever I went out in the car it felt like my belly was not attached to my body! At least, that's how it felt for me. Not trying to scare anyone contemplating surgery- I DON'T LIKE PAIN so don't necessarily go by me - LOL!
I'm doing MUCH better now. I still have some gas pain but it's subsiding... Everyday I feel more and more like my normal self. I haven't had any issues with food thus far (thank, God). I've been able to keep everything down and even tried a couple of things like mashed potatoes, scrambled eggs, carrots. Of course, I've never chewed food so much in my life... LOL... But, I have a fear of throwing up so I'll do whatever it takes. I didn't like throwing up before this surgery, so I can't even imagine now.
It hasn't been all fun and games... I had a small breakdown in my 5th or 6th day post-op. I seriously couldn't believe I went through with it and was really scared about being able to continue and live in a whole new way. But, my mom came to my rescue in the middle of night and we talked it out. =) I LOVE MY MOM! LOL... I'm still scared BUT thinking very positive. This is about a new life and a new beginning. Everything worth having is gonna take hard work!!! My favorite quote says it all - "It's supposed to be hard. If it wasn't hard everyone could do it. The hard is what makes it great!"
So, let's keep working hard towards what we're all seeking!!!! And, let's not be hard on ourselves if we fall off the wagon... What matters is getting back up and starting over... And, never ever quitting!

I heard from my surgeon's Insurance Specialist today and she told me I AM APPROVED!!! Hurray! Wow... this is real... it's really going to happen... I also went for my pre-admission tests today... I can't believe it's so close. It's almost unreal to me right now... WOW WOW WOW WOW!

June 3rd is the big day!!! Everything is pretty much done... The only thing left are Pre-Admissions tests... I can hardly believe the day is almost here.
I am trying to make some changes now BEFORE surgery but it's difficult... A couple of ppl have told me to go nuts and eat anything and everything but I don't want to do that either, so it's a catch 22... I want to enjoy some of my favorite foods before surgery but not going overboard or eating everything in sight... I don't know... Am I making sense?
In any case, the big day is near and I can hardly wait!!!!

I've made the final decision to have Lap Band surgery... It's a big step for me. I am scared and excited all at the same time... I can hardly believe that 6 months from now I'm going to look so different... I can't even imagine being 40, 50 or possibly 60 lbs lighter than I am right now.. That's foreign to me... I feel like I'm on a journey... I've always been a very "confident" person... But, inside there's always been something lacking because of my weight... And, I feel like I've found the answer for me... So, I'm crying tears of joy as I write because it's going to be the beginning of a new me and I will be completely confident without reservations.