Making some strides

Jan 26, 2009

So for the longest time, I have struggled with doing the right thing. Eating, exercise, cleaning, work ethic etc. If you read my last post, I talked about how my eating carbs has negatively impacted my relationship with my husband. So I decided to go back off the carbs. At first, I was able to stick to it fairly easily. Meaning, I had a day without struggling to stay on track. Friday I was doing well during the day but during the end of the day, I got a little down, wondering about the weekend. Weekends are tough for me. Too much time to plan for. So I started to want to not swim and eat and drink when I got home. So I noticed that I all the sudden wanted to do something distructive to myself. So I realized that if I gave into the urge, nothing would ever change. I need to do the right thing when it's hard, not just when it is easy. So I literally fought with myself all the way home but finally did do the right thing. I can't tell you how proud I was of myself. It was probably the first time I did that when the urge was so strong. Throughout the weekend, I had other times to overcome and only briefly did I eat the wrong thing. The good thing is I jumped right back on things and it didn't derail what I was doing. I saw the scale go down yesterday so that inspired me to keep pushing on. I know I will screw up on occasion but as long as those screw ups are small and few, things will work out fine. I want to succeed at this so badly so I can have the full life I deserve. I want to go back to school and become a therapist. That requires a strong mind and body.

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