poodlelover
DEPRESSED!
Jun 30, 2010
I'm depressed today. It's early in the morning and I've just got paid. Did my bills and paid what I had to however now I only have $70.00 left after paying them. I still have to have gas, food, and repair my van. I just feel like crying! I work 2 jobs and can't see where the blasted money is going! I was so excited to get this check in hopes of being able to purchase some protien drinks, sugar-free items, low fat items however I don't even have it. My kids comes first so I will purchase items they can eat and try to do it sensabily. I will try to get ground ckn/turkey meat, no salt added veggies, no/low sugar added canned fruit but we will see. That's a lot for my budget. I even went w/o paying for one of my bills. I'm in a downward spiral. I was also going to decrease my hours at my second job but that can't happen now. UGH! Thing is? I only have 1 credit card...yes it's maxed out but it was maxed out before the divorce and I took it while he took the other cards so I got the better part of that. I've been slowly paying it down and not using it again there just seems like no light at the end of the tunnel. I didn't even work out today. I don't have time now as I have to work both jobs today and by the time I get home I will be too tired both mentally and physically. I just so SICK of this CRAP!!! Not only all that I have a debt collector "knocking on my door" for a foreclosure I had in FL. My ex and I purchased our first home however due to some unforeseen circumstances we could not keep up on the home since moving to TN. It was too much to pay for rent here and 2 mortagues in FL. I just mmmm I'm tired.On a lighter note I have decided that I'm going to try Click protien powder and Optium Nutrition protien powder. Plus I got all my water in and then some yesterday! I had a lot of food at work to choos from but all of it was not good for me however I don't have any choices at this time on what I eat but I did choose to eat less from the choices I had. I know peanut butter is not so good for me however I did buy it before I got back on track so I am not going to waste my money and not eat it but I didn't have any bread so I had it off the spoon which saved me on carbs. All the bread that I had was white.
I was at work last night and wanted to eat so badly (I work in pizza for a second job) so instead of making any pizza or any thing else we carry I took some of the better items ckn, onions, mushrooms & a slice of pravlone cheese and made me a little portion for dinner. A bit dry but all the sauces we have are VERY high in fat and calories.
I've found some soy milk that I really like! Soy Slender sweetened w/Splenda! Decilious! I drink a lot of coffee (I know bad caffine) but none the less I can't stop so instead of 1/2 & 1/2 or creamer I put soy milk in it. I even tried the Blue Diamond unsweetened Almond milk vanilla flavor to "cream" my coffee and I have to say it's great! I use Splenda to sweeten my coffee so the unsweetened soy milk works fine!
I've also began to keep track of my food/drink intake. This is a very big eye opener! I do this for several reasons. 1) I don't have constant access to the food tracker on here so I am able to update my food/drink intake when I get time at home. 2) Helps me watch what I'm eating and when I'm most vulnaberal so I can adjust what I'm eating in the future. 3) I'm held accountable as I share this w/my co-workers, family, friends, anyone who will listen.
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About Me
Oak Ridge, TN
Location
39.8
BMI
Surgery
05/04/2004
Surgery Date
Mar 14, 2004
Member Since
