10 days, pre-op with surgeon, facing the abyss

Nov 06, 2009

Here I am!  10 days out from surgery, and the nerves are in high gear.  I'm very worried and stressed.

I think the emotions and thoughts I'm dealing with are probably typical.  #1 I'm afraid of dying on the operating table or from a stupid complication that nobody predicted.  #2 I'm afraid I'll get this done and then fail because I won't stick to the plan. #3 I'm TERRIFIED of being sick to my stomach every time I put something in my mouth (from reading other posts).

To respond to my own fears:

#1  The doctors have and will take every precaution to ensure nothing goes wrong.  It's not my time.  I have a beautiful 5 year old to raise, and she needs me.

#2.  I will not fail because I am having my anatomy restructured and will not let that go to waste.  I quit smoking, and I will quit depending on food for comfort.

#3.  Everybody is different.  I can't predict how my body will react, but I can be prepared for the possibilities.

Every day I get closer to the surgery, the more emotional I become.  I am basically an emotional puddle right now.

I keep trying to look at before and after pics to remind myself that each of those people who have made such amazing progress started just like me. 

I can find hope in the abyss.  I can do this!

 

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