Remi F.
Oh what I've learned (day after discharge)
May 17, 2009
Well, I got home from the hospital yesterday. I had both the gastric bypass and my gallbladder removed. I wasn't the slightest bit nervous going into the surgery. I wasn't worried about what would happen on the table. I had absolutely no fear of dying. I was just very excited! Then I woke up and everything changed...I woke up in pain. In severe pain. I have little memory of the first day. I just remember my best friend..the pain med pump. I quickly learned that pumping the morphine 3 times makes you feel better. BUT pumping it 4 times sends you to sleep. I was aiming for sleep and sleep I achieved.
It really wasn't until day 2, once the pain meds machine was gone that my life turned upside down. I share this part with you in case you're prone to depression and/or anxiety. I suffered panic attack after panic attack after panic attack. I couldn't lay down comfortably. I couldn't sit up comfortably. I couldn't think straght. I had no idea what to do. I couldn't catch a breath and thought I was having a heart attack. (I'm still having minor difficulty with deep breathing). The reply you get from the nurses for every ailment is WALK, WALK, WALK. I was in so much freakin pain and felt SOOOOOO full that how could I possibly walk if I could barely move? So what's one to do???? I cried. I cried and cried and couldn't stop crying and quickly began sliding into a great depression because I felt SO out of control.
So I kept requesting pain meds, kept taking pain meds and kept feeling worse. (Yes, I do run-on sentences beautifully!) OK, turns out pain meds cause constipation. The "full" feeling is gas. Suffering my entire life with severe IBS, I never had gas. Never understood it. Had no frame of reference. I would eat and then minutes later I would poop. No big deal EVER! Apparently, the severe pain was actually gas pains made substancially worse by the ridiculously high amounts of pain meds I was consuming.
So, WALK, WALK, WALK...I walked a hole into the bottomof my slippers. My crocs were extremely uncomfortable and hurting my feet (as was every other part of my body) and the slipper socks the hospital provides are terrible uncomfortable to walk on as well. The floor is extremely hard and the walking was NOT helping. So... I cried and cried and cried and thought about what a terrible mistake I had made.
Not only that ,but I had JUST finished my period and got it HEAVILY again right after surgery. Everything was extremely sensitvie and my boobs are HUGE. They felt heavier than ever before (still do). I had 2 choices...wear my bra (ouch, laying directly on my top incision; no good!) or go braless (ouch, boobs flopping all over my top 3 incisions). My choices were limited and very bleak. I called my parents, sent them to the store to buy me the largest sports bra they could find. It worked! Not great, but certainly better, especially during all the walking.
Then I was discharged (on Saturday...yesterday!) Got home and felt TERRIBLE!!! Managed to drink maybe 6 oz of liquid throughout the entire day. That was it. Thought I would surely die. Then the most miraclous thing happened. Ar eyou rady??? I slept. I actually got a full nights' sleep (which you do NOT get in the hospial, even when highly drugged) and it was as if the entire world changed during the 10 hours I slept. The body pains went away. The constipation went away. I FARTED!!!!! I was pooping. I had energy. I drank water, had 2 cups of SF hot choc and a cupof decaf today which isn't great (far less than my 64 oz) but FAR better than yesterday. I also went on my first walk.
I've lived in my neighbord for the last 9 years. However, I've never walked through my neighborhood. I took a full mile walk this morning. It went great. Easy, weather was perfect, the walk was great. So good in fact that I decided to take another walk tonight. Half way through my walk I opted to try another route. Somehow, I managed to get so confused, so disoriented, that I got lost. I'm now asking complete strangers, "How do I get home???" It took me almost 3 hours of walking, and now sweating, and cursing and hurting to finally find my way home again. I had been so close but so freakin far away. At one point I decided to simply lie down in the midle of the road so a car could run me over and just end the torture but then I wondered what TV I might end up missing and opted to keep walking instead.
OK, back on track....so, here are the things I've learned!
*As prepared as you think you are...you're not!
*Morphine pumped 3 x's makes the world a better place
*Morphine pumped 4 x's puts you to sleep. Sleep is good!!!
*However, pain meds cause contipation
*Constipation and all the air they pump into you causes a severe feeling of bloating which can lead to pain.
*You will NOT die if you don't fart while still in the hospital
*Suppositiories don't always work
*Surprisingly, enemas can be your friend
*Most frequent talk in the hospital is about farting, pooping and walking
*Farting gets you cheers and appaulse (in the hospital setting ONLY people. NOT in every day life.
*For those prone to depression and/or anxiety, this surgery can bring all of that out in you.
*The more you panic, the worse things are
*If you question your decision about thesurgery, you are NORMAL!
*Mantra...What you're going through is normal! It's the panic that makes you think you are somehow different
*Crying is absolutely, total normal. Was told a story (in the midst of a panic attack) from a nurse that she was working with this HUGE man. When he came back for his 2 week visit he brought his wife. The wife asked this nurse, "What have you people done to my husband? He hasn't stopped crying since he got home." The nurses never explained to him that emotions would be so raw thinking 'he's a dude, he won't be crying'. They were wrong! If you are a crying mess, then cry! Let it out.
*Bring Puffs Plus to the hospital with you. The hospital tissues aren't great for us criers.
*The nurses are actually your friends even though you want to kill them each and every time they wake you or insist you get walking.
*The other patients on the floor are your friends (thank you Cristol and Jim!)
*PACK sneakers! Slippers only work for so long. Sneakers will help you with the dreadful walking process
*Pack you own pillow. Some comfort!
*Pack maxi pads even if you just finished your period. You'll likely get it AGAIN! (Things are just so damn unfair sometimes!!!!!)
*PACK A SPORTS BRA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Put on fresh sheets before leaving for the hospital because you will sleep beautifully once you get home
*A good night's sleep once you get home is the greatest mediine of all.
*Find a therapist you trust before having thesurgery so you have someone to lean on.
*Lean on family. You will need them.
Yesterday I was suicidal. I seriously called my therapist hysterical crying and telling her we had to do an emergency session IMMEDIATELY!!!! Things were not good.
Today everything has changed. Things ahve gotten 100% better. Life is good again. I've feeling less hormal, less crazy, less abnormal. My pain level is at a zero. Things are going well. A day can make all the difference. Have someone stay with you the night you getdischarged, it canbe a hard night. But remember, if itis...it's NORMAL!!!! You will survive!
Best of luck to you all -REMI (and please forgive all the typos!)
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About Me
PA
Location
46.1
BMI
Surgery
05/14/2009
Surgery Date
Apr 30, 2009
Member Since
