One month in...

Jun 15, 2009

Well, well, looks like I’ve been SO busy losing weight that I haven’t had the time to blog. I am down 36 pounds now. It’s absolutely amazing. I went from in the 270’s to the 230’s. So impressed I can hardly stand myself. I feel absolutely fantastic!!!!   By the way, for all you Jews out there, lox absolutely saved me! (I always knew it somehow would). It’s high in protein and has the good fats (whatever that means) not the bad fats and, ummmmmmm, best food ever! I ate lox throughout the pureed and soft foods stages (and even had it for dinner tonight!)   I decided to run into the market the other day to pick something up real quickly. Before I knew it hours had passed and I was late seeing a client. I had no idea that people could spend hours in the market? I always hated the market and thank god, it never took too long to pick up Oreo cookies, Kit-Kat bars, potato chips and ice cream so it wasn’t such a big deal. Now, I am checking every label, thinking of new things to make, going up, down and side by side every freakin aisle. Forget about saving money for eventual new clothing, I using every last penny trying new food after new food. So exciting!    I’ve also been attending the monthly support groups and the last message was, ‘wasn’t it so nice when everyone was commenting on great you looked as your weight started falling off.’ Why am I not being told that??? I mean, I hear it from my family but that’s because they have too! I have not yet heard it from friends or co-workers. Not once! What’s up with that? Granted, I have MUCH more weight to lose, but you can still tell. My god, almost 40 pounds is off me, how can you not tell??? And yet… So I’ve resorted to fishing for compliments to no avail. Note to self…buy MUCH longer fishing line.   Other than that I am doing sooooo well. I’m even exercising every day.  Me, yes, I am exercising. I was walking at least 1 mile each day but, ya know, then it got hot out and I don’t do hot, so I scrapped that idea completely. Now my exercise of choice is Wii Sports and Wii Fit and quite honestly, they’re downright rude. On Wii Sports you can take your “Fitness Age” after you run through a series of activities. I improved greatly! As I first began this 36 year old had a fitness age of 72. OK, embarrassed, shut up! Surely did not feel great about that one. However, I tried and tried and felt like I was doing SO much better so I recently took my fitness age test again and it said I was 26. A million thoughts ran through my head, but mostly thoughts about hard work paying off, dedication at it’s finest, how impressed I am with myself and then, right in front of my very eyes the 26 broke into pieces and crashed to the bottom of my t.v. screen. In its place came a 47 with a tag basically laughing at me for having thought I actually reached an age of 26. Excuse me??? I paid $250 to be made fun? I can get that for free! What the hell was that? Understandably, after that, Wii Sports and I did not get along very well and I took the CD out and put it away vowing to never use it again. That’s when I went to Wii Fit.   The Wii Fit is a freaking scale! When it tells me it’s ok to finally get on, the little computer generated voice actually says “Ohhhhh” when I stand upon it, like it's scaredor something. Now who exactly created these devices of torture? I do not need to hear this when standing upon something. This is just not right, nor is it very fair. The person who created this had a very, very demented mind and is not kind to the fat people. This is not funny. So basically, I am consistently being made fun of  by my workout equipment. Not very nice and yet, I somehow haven’t thrown the thing away yet (although trash day is tomorrow…hummmm).     I will hopefully be reporting a 40 pound lose very, very soon.     Things I learned now that I’m one month in… I can’t actually believe this is about to come out of my mouth, but when feeling really full, lying down and sleeping or crying and begging for death do NOT actually help. I repeat, they do NOT help (surprisingly!). The only thing that actually helps me is to… ok, are you ready for it?... the only thing that helps is to (with squinted eyes) exercise. Ahhh, I can’t believe I said it.   I adore my friends from OH, but I’ve learned that one must not tell all their secrets. For example, I felt completely attacked when I wanted to incorporate carbs into my diet. Anywhere else when being attacked you can fight back, right? Well, there is no reasoning with people who have already been there done that and they all believe their way is the only way and I respect that but don’t always agree. So I’ve learned, for the first time in my life, that sometimes I should just keep my mouth shut. Hummm, how’s that for a lesson?   I ALSO learned that it’s not an automatic response to loudly grown each and every time one gets off the couch. I was shocked by that one.   I learned that I can actually live without pizza. Not that this is pleasant mind you, but I have not died from pizza withdrawal. like I thought I might.  I have learned that my sleeping pills kick in MUCH faster and MUCH better after surgery than before and I’m loving this. One may then make the assumption that I do not need quite as many pills to sleep as they are much more potent now. I say, nah!!!! I still take just as many and I’m loving my nights!   I’ve learned that the supermarket holds things other than Nabisco products. There’s more than 2 aisles??? Yeah, apparently so.   I actually went out and bought a pan for the first time in my life. I now own a pan that was not inherited from my parents 15 years ago. I feel like such an adult now. Oh, and along the same lines, I now know how to turn on my burners AND I’ve made some pretty decent meals. I am in awe of ME!   Things I did not do well… I never actually entered the pureed stage. I went directly from liquids to soft foods. Not because my doctor said so, but because I couldn’t get the nasty image of a pureed burger out of my mind and just needed to avoid it completely!   I’m eating bread. I was told not to. I’m using low carb tortillas or an English muffin every day. Hey, it fills me, I continue dropping pounds (more than 1 pound every day, come on!) and I am absolutely loving the food I’m eating. So, while I’ve learned not to discuss that I’m doing this at the support groups, I do, indeed, continue eating carbs. Oh, and I eat a soft pretzel almost every day. AND?!?!?!?!??!   I’m working on getting all my protein in and for the most part I can succeed at this. However, there are days I find myself eating close to nothing because I got busy and didn’t look at the clock. Oh well.   I have every intention of keeping a daily food log and then I just sort of forget. I have yet to manage this for even one full day. Meanwhile, I have my follow up appt in two days and will now need to make up a food log. Helpful, no?       So, I’m obviously not being the perfect patient, but I am doing well and I’m extremely proud of myself. Not so proud that I won’t be making up a food log, but still, very, very proud. So, I’m realizing that perhaps I don’t have to do this perfectly. I believe my body will tell me when I’m doing something wrong and therefore, I will also know when I can tolerate foods that others don’t believe I should be eating. But perfect I most certainly am not nor have I ever been. Why begin now, huh? I’m just trying to figure this thing out as I go. Each day is a new adventure and I’m holding on for the ride. Talk to you all soon and good luck on all of your rides. Remember; just make sure you keep your arms and legs in the cart for the duration of your ride.

1 Comment