rhondanewme
3 Years and Holding!
Feb 10, 2013
Wow, 3 years. I can't believe the time has flown by so fast. I so meant to come back here and post frequently.. One of the main reasons I have failed to that is my ancient computer and it's many problems.
Okay- 3 years and how are things going? Well, I have gained a few more pounds since I posted a year ago, about 15 lbs total since my lowest weight. I am definitley not happy with the gain, although it is about the average amount of rebound weight that a lot of people do have to deal with. One of my problems is my fear of exercising since the whole problem with my hip flexor muscles last year about this time.Favoring one leg led to problems and pain on the other leg a few weeks later. More prednisone, followed by side effects. Instead of the weight gain I feared, I ended up with an anal abscess (very painful) most likely caused by the steroids. That turned into a fistula, which required a 2-part surgery that I am still dealing with the after affects of. So, I have just recently begun to walk again. Lack of exercise has made me feel tired and achy and out of shape!
Another area I have to work on is taking my vitamins on a regular schedule. I'll do well for a while, and then get off my routine, like being off work during the holidays or on weekends. Got to do better and take care of myself if I don't want BIG problems down the road.
Body image is still something I have a hard time with. Even now, I often see myself as just as large as before I had surgery. And that is a problem. I have come to believe that if I continue to see myself as that size, then it will become a self fulfilling prophecy and I will get back to that size. I am going to have to spend time seeing myself as I truly am and visualizing myself looking and feeling the size I want to be. I believe that the saying "what you think is what you are" is very true. If I see myself as almost 300 lbs. and continue to move around in the world as someone still taking up that space, then it WILL happen. But if I can change my thinking to that of a thin(ner) person, and see myself as that person, I can BE that person.
I still struggle with my addiction to food in which I use food to deal with stress and frustration. I'm working on that and hope to be able to have other, healthier ways to cope in the future. This is still a journey, and one that I think will never end. It is up to me and the choices I make, where this journey takes me along the way.
I do plan to come back and post more often. I visit OH often and this site and people on it have a made a tremendous difference in my life. I thank God all the time for the opportunity to have WL surgery and I would do it again in a heartbeat!
