So here I am again. Today is the day I prepare for the colonoscopy and endoscopy which take place tomorrow. The doctor told me the prep day was much worse than the actual test. I think he’s right. Thursday is the day for my upper GI. I am hoping I will have the results quickly but am not sure. I can’t wait to hear the words “yes, you can have RNY and it’s on May 7th”.

Today is going to be a lazy day preparing for the tests. I did all the laundry and chores yesterday. My husband dusted the entire house! He’s the best. We started retraining the dog not to be on the bed. We did this for the first surgery as he cannot get up on his own and I would lift him. Since I can’t pick him up after the surgery (he’s 15lbs) we weaned him off the bed. It took a couple of days the first time. But when the surgery didn’t happen and I was depressed I asked my husband to keep picking him up and put him on the bed so I could cuddle with the dog. Now we have to start over again. The dog is not very happy about this horrible turn of events. He’s a bit spoiled!

So this last week a lot of interesting feelings and thoughts have been percolating in my brain. The first and most surprising is that I don’t want to eat anything “bad”. I have this little reprieve and thought about all those foods I could now eat until I have to start the pre-op prep again. Well I would think up all these wonderful things to eat (ice cream, spareribs, chocolate cake, etc.) and then I don’t get them, I just pass. What’s that all about? Has my wiring changed? Why am I not pigging out? Why am I not binging? I don’t have an answer but it’s the facts. I just don’t really want them. I think I want them and each night I say tomorrow maybe I will get that doughnut I have been wanting to try, I have never had a warm Krispy Kreme, I thought I would try it. But no, morning comes and I have my protein drink instead. Is this a change in my critical thinking, am I analyzing to much? I am grateful for this fundamental change and a bit scared! Well off to start with step one of the pre-colonoscopy prep ... oh FUN!