Brenda C.

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Have you ever wanted to meet new people?  Guess what, it is as easy as just saying "hello" to at least five strangers a day!  For those who are aware of me, know me, or just pop over to read my blog from time to time, I wasn't always "fearless".  Being fearless is something you can actually learn - or in my case - adapt into.

As a child, I hated being touched.  I had issues with people in "my space," so please, no "close" talkers!  It took trying to figure out how to deal with this, as I could tell from friends, I was not the normal one.  Making eye contact was my first big hurdle.  Yup, it is that simple, smile when you make eye contact - and be GENUINE with the smile.  The old saying, "Smile, it'll drive 'em nuts" also works to interest people -- "Why is she smiling?"  People will be drawn in, then you can say "Hello," and maybe make a new connection.

One of my dear friends has issues with shyness.  He loved going places with me, mainly because I easily meet new people.  I challenged him, "Tony, I want you to say hello to ten people a day - TEN."  He started doing this, and told me he sometimes had an easier time than others, but he was sticking to my challenge.  Not that I will take all the credit, but I will be his Best Gal at his wedding this Fall -- since he met his fiance after just saying "hello" to a pretty girl he didn't know.  Your results may vary, but trust me, you will make at least a handful of friends if you start saying "hello" to people.

During one of my support group meetings we had a psychologist come to talk to us.  I actually asked some questions that he didn't expect, as I am not the "normal fat chick".  Having a good self image is learned.  Sure, I was teased by lots of kids, but I actually was told years later, "We only tease you Brenda, because we LIKE you so much..."  To which I remember mumbling, "Well, could you LIKE me a little LESS?!"  I was the fat girl with the curly red hair.  Did I let my weight stop me?  Nope.  I somehow decided to work harder at being good at things - public things - and at meeting new people.  If you meet ten people in one day, the likelihood of making a friend is much greater than keeping to yourself.  Yes, it is that simple.  My problem that I brought to the doctor:  What happens to me as I lose weight & feel the loss of my FAT self image? 

I am carrying around at least two people, so I laugh when children ask me why I am fat, "My personality wouldn't fit in a smaller body."  What happens to my two person personality when I shrink the package?  I guess we are going to find out!  Part of me is looking forward to meeting new people in a smaller body, not having to explain why I can't do something, or just feeling like I am different.  If you are willing to take my challenge and say "hello" to at least five people a day, I will work on my self identity - and not be the "Fat" chick any longer.

Stay Positive!
Brenda : )~

Holy Smokes! I didn't expect the response I got from my Granny Panties question!!!  Glad to see there are some folks out there with their thinking hats on!  GI Joe Parachutes?!  I love it!!!  The sock monkey stuffing idea was FABULOUS, I have so many socks I collected to make the monkey dolls, that did make some sense!  The art quilt/flag/curtain idea is pretty funny, and my neighbors might not be too angry with me (I have a mannequin in my front room to dress up - if that gives you a clue as to how I am seen by my neighbors).  The Pantie Purse idea is funny but a little scary.  What if it became a fashion trend???  I did relocate to the Land of Grunge (1990's grunge bands wearing mishmash of flannel), there may be something in that idea...

Making FLOWER POTS with my panties?!  That one made sense, yet scared me at the same time!  I have toys and plastic cows that live all over my yard.  Oh, and I have squirrels - not just the live ones - all over my yard!  Although, I may turn them into rag pots - like a rag rug, but more like a pot!  GREAT IDEAS!!!

The garage sale "Something for everyone," would I need to autograph them?!  I worry about the person (or persons) buying my Granny Panties for whatever reason!  There must be some lonely guys, somewhere...  Using the panties for straining nut milk or carrot juice is an idea!  I took your idea & went with it!!!  I have been reading about making my own nut milk & carrot juice, I have a Vitamix machine, now all I need is a nut milk bag!  One person said they used cheese cloth to strain their carrot pulp, to which I concluded, "Why not use knee highs?"  Maybe my panties would be good for that?! 

I feel sorry (sometimes) for my family, other times I think they should have to pay a cover charge for my antics!  One thing is for sure, I am not boring!!!  Last night I was telling my friends about the quilt idea, I got a few rolled eyes, but know deep down they are just waiting to see if I actually do it.  Ha ha ha, a car cover for our Beetle would be funny!  All fabulous ideas!

Even with all my weight lost, I am glad I haven't lost my sense of humor!  Heck, I am even MORE thankful that there are other wild minded folks out there willing to share their creative side!!!  To that I say: Why be normal?!

Stay positive!  I promise to SHARE whatever I end up doing with the panties!  I am deffinitely going to do something creative!
Brenda : )~

Digging through all my drawers and through two closets - yes, I have collected a LOT of clothing in my various sizes - has left me feeling a bit better.  I have been getting ready for a garage sale at the end of this month.  For those who do not know me, YES, it does take me a month to get my closets cleared, sorted, organized.  The great news is, I have TONS to sell, and what doesn't sell, I will donate.  But what to do with the Granny Panties?!

Maybe I am misinformed, but Granny Panties are comfortable, but far from being sexy.  I was making a joke yesterday that I should cut up some of my old clothes & make a crazy quilt with it.  Imagine how wrong it would be to use the fronts & backs of panties!  I know, I know, the fabric isn't very thick, it is stretchy, but I just have the craziest thoughts.  I can see in my silly head these panties being sewn together, maybe like some cartoon sail for a boat - I just may have to work on this, just for the humor of it!

Other than rags, what the heck could you use Granny Panties for???  I am serious, PLEASE send me your kooky, serious, inspired ideas -- let's see what can be done with these dreaded articles of clothing!  CHALLENGE!

Brenda : )~

First off, thank you, thank you, thank you to everyone who has sent encouraging messages to me on this journey!  That brings up the main topic of today's chronicle of a fat girl swimming to freedom - insert smiley face - I just did the math and the total miles swam of far this year are now 284!!! 

To give you an idea of exactly how far I have swam, here are fun facts:  Seatac Airport to Spokane Washington - 284 miles (if I swam East).  If I swam North, I would see Bellingham Washington in 103 miles.  Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada is 153 miles away.  If I continue on North I would reach Whistler Canada in 233 miles, Pemberton Canada in 252 miles, I have already been this far North by vehicle, imagine the swim!  If I headed South, I would see Portland Oregon in 161 miles.  Continuing further South in order -- Salem 208, Corvalis 245, Eugene Oregon is 272, Cottage Grove (again, I have been to ALL these places) 289 -- just a little farther than I have swam this year.  San Francisco California - where I actually was born - is a whopping 796 miles, I doubt I could swim that far in a year - but it may be a challenge!!!

Today I actually swam a personal best - 4600 meters.  For those wanting the math to be done for them, that equals 2.85830748 Miles. I am still trying to reach my Summer goal of swimming 5000 meters in two hours, but I just cannot seem to get enough speed going.  This doesn't mean I will stop trying - heck no!  Some days I swim the entire two hours, others I swim less, but I have been keeping a log of my distance, just to see how far I've gone.

When I weighed myself today I saw a number that made me laugh - 333.  Why whould I laugh at such an arbitrary number?  My daughter, the light of my life, the exasperating reminder of my mothers revenge (someday YOU will have a daughter, too!), Mini Me was born at 3:33 am -- I joke with her that she is half evil.  My total pounds lost is now 141, which is how much I weighed in JUNIOR HIGH, ugh!  I was 5' 7", stopped growing taller, just wider... Bad joke, but that is how I keep rolling with the punches life gabs at me.  

Determination; Positivity; Dedication; Noteworthy; these are all words that help me to continue going forward!  I hope some of my blogging helps you, too!  If you cannot swim, there is always bicycling, walking, just start keeping track so you can look back and marvel at how far YOU have come!

Brenda : )~

I have always hated the phrase, "feel the burn!" My opinion, if exercise hurts, you are either doing it wrong or doing it too hard.  Then it hit me driving back from my daily swim, "I feel heat through my back and up into my shoulders... THAT must be the burn they are talking about, my body continuing to burn calories..."  Yup, when we exercise we burn more calories after finishing, even when we aren't doing anything strenuous.

Here I am, in Seattle Washington, in what has been jokingly referred to as SUMMER.  What I wore over my swimsuit: Reebok Hoodie & jeans, not your usual summer attire, but necessary in the Pacific Northwest.  When I got home I started reading an article of exactly how much summer Seattle has seen this year... Wait for it, drum roll, any guesses???  78 minutes of 80+ temperatures in all of 2011!  July 2nd we had 12 whole minutes of the mercury exceeding 80 degrees, on July 6th - a real scorcher - a whole 66 minutes!  I need to feel the burn, otherwise how will I thaw out?

One of the things I learned at the OH Conference was about plateaus and how to shake them.  Our bodies have a tendency to stick at a weight we have been in our past - like a set point for comfort.  So if you were at a certain weight for any length of time - months/years - your body gets stuck for a few weeks to even a few months.  When you get frustrated that you aren't doing anything different, why aren't you losing weight -- try doing something different - wink wink!  The more weight we lose, our bodies need less calories - which is scary if you are really diligent about keeping your food journal.  If you aren't spending more calories through exercise, the only other option is less calories -- another good reason I am happy to swim five days a week.

I am naturally cold blooded, well, actually a low core temperature, so I NEED to feel the burn!!! 
Brenda : )~

Why is humility the one lesson I keep repeating?  I hate to admit this but, "Hello, my name is Brenda, and I am a know-it-all..."

The Obesity Help Conference was just this last weekend, and I was a little full of myself thinking I already knew what the the experts were going to say.  Telling myself that I have studied how to eat and exercise, how to take supplements, what more could I learn?  I went to the Conference with the expectation of meeting people I only knew online, and maybe walking away with some samples (what I call SWAG), and spending time re-hashing information I already knew.  Oh, I love when I am wrong and actually learn a few new things!

The coolest part of the Conference was realizing I need to rededicate myself to using my tool and succeeding at this damn war I have going on with my obesity.  Sure, I am proud of all the battles I win, but I was getting too comfortable with being where I presently am.  No, I am not accepting my complacent behavior! I am getting my head screwed on straight, and working on the NEXT 140 pounds I need to lose!

One thing I really cannot shake was the concept of baking just one cookie.  For those who didn't get to hear the analogy, I will share what I got from it.  If you want a freshly baked cookie, why not bake just one?  The room (including me) went silent -- all the minds working fast to answer this simple question.  It is a waste of energy - the heat of the oven & the time to prepare the dough.  Yup, most of us, including me, came to this conclusion.  Here is the shocker: If you have ONLY ONE cookie, you can only eat ONE cookie.  Damn!  So simple, why didn't I think of that?!  Why do you need to put temptation in your way?  Are you really needing to test your resolve?  Are you willing to deal with the consequences if you cannot avoid the temptation?  Setting ourselves up to fail is something all of us deal with, no matter how smart we think we are. 

Sure you can make the cookie dough, freeze what you do not use, and have one cookie right now.  If you look at your utility bill you will see no huge charge for the energy it took to bake that one cookie.  There are no excuses to justify not baking just one cookie.  I can not foresee when I will ever feel the need to bake a cookie, but the concept is not lost on me.  IF IT ISN'T IN THE HOUSE, YOU CANNOT EAT IT!  Yup, I got it, lesson learned.

What are your excuses for having food in the house you are not supposed to eat?  I have kids/grandkids... My family likes to have food not on my food plan... I can say no...

When I want to open my mouth, I have to remind myself to stop and think; listen to others; and think again.  When I am able to hear what others are telling me, I will then know what others are teaching me.  Wow, a real Zen moment for me.

Brenda  : )~

It's that time of year, and the OH Conference is in my geographical backyard!  I did not attend today, as it was more geared for the Professionals, but my bright, shiny face will be there on Saturday. 

Having lost over 100 pounds, I was eligible to be in the Before & After Ceremony, even though I am still in the After process.  I have lost close to half of my excess weight, and I am seven months out of surgery.  For those wondering: I did lose some but not all of my hair; I have hit a couple plateaus; I take LOTS of supplements; keep a food journal; exercise at least five days a week; still have protein shakes daily; and am happier than I have been in years!  For all those who are starting out with a very high BMI, just think where YOU could be in seven months...

Here is where I admit that I am looking forward to getting SWAG - the goodies given to us by the vendors.  I have been sharing my protein drinks with many of my non-surgical friends, freebies let us try before we commit to the purchase.  This will be like a healthy version of Trick or Treating!

I will post photos of my outfit of choice, even though I still haven't made a decision what to wear.  My closet has so many MORE options these days!!!

Congratulate yourself for all the pounds YOU have lost!
Brenda : )~

Is it Saturday, already?  How fast this week just sped by... What are YOU doing to take advantage of the weekend?  Me, I am spending my time with friends and family.  I even have been kind to my pets!  My garden was calling my name, I am thanking the weather for not making me want to stay indoors.

You know, I have never been one of those folks who talks about what "I am going to do when I am thin..." Sure, I am still very fat, but I am a whole lot closer to a normal size and I am not in as much physical pain as when I started this journey.  Believe it or not, I love doing stupid things that are just plain fun.  I have a neighbor who lives below my house who has five ducks in his backyard.  Going out on my deck to just "quack" at them makes me smile.  Simple pleasures, I guess.  I probably look/sound silly, but it sure makes me smile when I do it.  I wonder if the veggies growing on my deck are happy when I "quack"?

Just because I am not able to buy my clothes in the "normal" section of the clothing store doesn't men I cannot go out and have fun.  Think about it, every time you go out & have fun, you are burning calories, and getting healthier!  Oh, and laughter does improve your health, it is a medical fact!  Live life out loud.  Staying inside is boring!  Go climb a rock, a hill, a street, just don't sit on the couch thinking about what you will do when YOU are thin.

Shhh, don't tell anyone this, but I am wearing my boyfriends shirt, and it makes me feel kind of sexy!  I used to fill out the shirt, now I feel dainty, all 340 pounds of me!  If he asks you why you let me go work in the garden in his shirt, tell him I am an unstoppable force of nature!  Now go outside & have some fun!

Brenda : )~

Today is a non-scale and no-swim day... No fun for Brenda ;)  So, why is it that chocolate is the one thing many of us women-folk crave when we are telling the gym teacher "P" for the day?  Oh, didn't your gym teacher track your period at roll call?  Mine did.  I went to use the bathroom, I found a crime scene in my panties... Ha ha ha, yeah, I have an icky sense of humor, but it keeps me from being a grumpy Aunt Flo!  The joys of being a girl...

I woke up this morning feeling pretty good, eventhough I had to force my eyes open.  Have you ever been in the middle of a dream & just felt like you could not wake up?  I have it happen fairly often, sadly my boyfriend thinks I am full of 'it".  My "to do list" isn't too bad for this lovely Friday, and it isn't raining, surprise!  It rained yesterday, after having a marvelous 80+ degree day prior, I find the weather kind of cruel wher I live.  Work is hard to get excited about, instead I am sitting here contemplating life.  Summer has this effect on me, so it isn't my fault.

I actually got a complement today on my Before & After Photos - eventhough I am "After - In Progress."  Recently I realized most of the folks I know in the Pacific Northwest never knew me at this weight - kind of scary that this is the lightest they have seen me at.  Having had folks from High School "Friend Me" on Facebook, I got to see who they became when they grew up, and decided I am happy to be who I am.  Facebook is a wierd place to me, why do these people want to talk to me now?  I found that whenever I made comments on their "Wall," I rarely got acknowledged, so I quietly went back to my new ways and un "Friended" them.  Who needs friends from your past, unless you play Farmville?  I am living my life in the present.  The next person who tries to "Friend Me" will get an email before I decide to "Like" them.

Here is my admission to a guilty pleasure:  I laughed hard when I found out one of the cheerleaders from my old High School is fat.  She & I weren't tight back then, but she was busting her butt to be my friend now.  I didn't get it, I am the same person now, why am I so much more interesting years later?  My thought, if you surround yourself with people LARGER than yourself, it makes you look "thin".  Okay, that may be a little paranoid, but she will never be more than an acquaintence to me.  We have all had this thought, so come on, admit it!  I have never gone back to High School Reunions, and frankly I do not care who got fat, bald, or became a drunk.  I am still just Brenda, and will always be just Brenda.

Here is my challenge for the weekend - if you think you want to try it - talk to a stranger.  Say something nice to them.  Be friendly, and make eye contact.  I believe that if you talk to one new person a day, you will actually make at least two people feel good.  Who cares how many "Friends" you have on Facebook, when is the last time you made a new friend face to face?  It is amazing the lengths I will go to not be grumpy & crampy!  Midol?  Naw, I will just try to have happy thoughts!

Brenda : )~

My feelings got a little bruised this morning, but I am going to pull my big girl panties up & not let it keep me down! 

I moved to Seattle five years ago, and I am still not completely acclimated.  I checked the weather reports for the month of June, just to make sure I wasn't over exaggerating (I NEVER do that...).  We actually had one day in June were we didn't even break 60 degrees.  Ugh.  For some, I am probably annoying right now.  Those folks sweating in their warmer climate, wondering if I have rocks in my brain, I wish you were here.  Believe it or not, I really do miss OUTDOOR pools!  I have been to the ocean along the Washington and Oregon Coast, but I would never spend any real time trying to snorkle in these waters!!!  Supposedly, Seattle should see 80+ degrees today - followed by rain this weekend.  Swimsuit on, JEANS over the swimsuit, getting ready to drive to the pool at the King County Aquatic Center.

I may never have a tan, but at least I am enjoying what sun we actually do see in the Pacific Northwest! 

Just like the damn comercial says, Just Do It!
Brenda : )~
p.s. I FIT in a smaller, NEW swimsuit - so I get to check off another goal!  I am waiting for another swimsuit I ordered online - SEXY!