Brenda C.
Pushing Ahead...
Nov 28, 2011
First off, I did swim today, even after having to talk myself out of bed, and staring at swollen eyes in the mirror, I made the effort. Pulling on my swimsuit, I felt less than motivated, but I am determined to keep moving forward. Through my head, I was trying to make a list of things I needed to get done, and talk myself into making the drive to the Aquatic Center. Nope, not even grief should sidetrack us. Well, take a few days, I admittedly did.
Getting back into the pool today I was somber. I have to admit I was glad the perky receptionist was not at the desk this morning. I was dreading her asking if I had a good Thanksgiving; why didn't I come in more last week; and other questions I was really wanting to avoid. When I get into a low mood, I actually enjoy the solitude of swimming alone, just feeling my body & churning thoughts in my head.
It is never an easy thing dealing with the loss of a loved one, but happening at The Holidays just seems more difficult. I really make an effort to view life in a positive light, and point out the good things to others who are having difficulty with their vision. So, to have to wish good tidings to others without cringing when you receive them back, really makes me want to hide out from interactions. My biggest issue is how do you tell folks you did spend Thanksgiving with friends and family, but you are hurting inside because you have kept the fact that your grandmother just died? For the most part, I have held "it" together, kept my tears for when I am alone, and worn sunglasses to hide the swollen eyes.
On the positive side of dealing with my grief, I ate sensibly, and reached for an apple instead of pretzels when I wanted something crunchy. Yup, I considered not making my own food today, but then I considered the alternative: Drive Thru Fast Food. You can insert a chuckle here, as I am pretty proud that I did not wimp out, partly because the thought kind of turned my stomach. Many times when I feel blue, I have turned to the "quick fix," but I find myself making better choices, so I see progress. Leftover turkey warmed with some cheese is what I ate. Then when I considered the pretzels, I went & grabbed an apple instead. Food should not medicate our feelings, so try to remember that the next time stress comes your way.
Water. Don't forget the water ;) I am definitely a bit behind in drinking, and all these tears need to be replenished, so I have my trusty 40 Ouncer next to me. I just had a funny image of me all thugged out with my 40 of tap water - yo! yo! yo!
Don't let hurt feelings make you give in, be gone thoughts of useless carbs! Thank you to all who have written & support me -- really, it does help me push myself to keep going, and I appreciate it very much. So here I am, pushing myself to Stay Positive, so please will you Stay Positive, too?!
Brenda
11 comments
Getting back into the pool today I was somber. I have to admit I was glad the perky receptionist was not at the desk this morning. I was dreading her asking if I had a good Thanksgiving; why didn't I come in more last week; and other questions I was really wanting to avoid. When I get into a low mood, I actually enjoy the solitude of swimming alone, just feeling my body & churning thoughts in my head.
It is never an easy thing dealing with the loss of a loved one, but happening at The Holidays just seems more difficult. I really make an effort to view life in a positive light, and point out the good things to others who are having difficulty with their vision. So, to have to wish good tidings to others without cringing when you receive them back, really makes me want to hide out from interactions. My biggest issue is how do you tell folks you did spend Thanksgiving with friends and family, but you are hurting inside because you have kept the fact that your grandmother just died? For the most part, I have held "it" together, kept my tears for when I am alone, and worn sunglasses to hide the swollen eyes.
On the positive side of dealing with my grief, I ate sensibly, and reached for an apple instead of pretzels when I wanted something crunchy. Yup, I considered not making my own food today, but then I considered the alternative: Drive Thru Fast Food. You can insert a chuckle here, as I am pretty proud that I did not wimp out, partly because the thought kind of turned my stomach. Many times when I feel blue, I have turned to the "quick fix," but I find myself making better choices, so I see progress. Leftover turkey warmed with some cheese is what I ate. Then when I considered the pretzels, I went & grabbed an apple instead. Food should not medicate our feelings, so try to remember that the next time stress comes your way.
Water. Don't forget the water ;) I am definitely a bit behind in drinking, and all these tears need to be replenished, so I have my trusty 40 Ouncer next to me. I just had a funny image of me all thugged out with my 40 of tap water - yo! yo! yo!
Don't let hurt feelings make you give in, be gone thoughts of useless carbs! Thank you to all who have written & support me -- really, it does help me push myself to keep going, and I appreciate it very much. So here I am, pushing myself to Stay Positive, so please will you Stay Positive, too?!
Brenda
Regrets...
Nov 27, 2011
First, I would like to let folks who have written me over the last week that I was a little too emotionally predisposed to come to OH, let alone respond. I feel bad, I had one friend who had surgery and did not even get a peep out of me. I am still a little out of sorts, but I come to OH to be supportive and be supported.
My grandmother passed away, at the age of 93. I had just written her, telling her I was looking forward to my upcoming trip -- she lived in San Francisco, only to find she never got my letter. My grandmother was always a supportive and loving person in my life, offering to get a seamstress for me when I was young and quite chubby. She never made me feel uncomfortable about my size, and other than my embarrassment over the price of clothing she often offered to buy me, she was a grand woman! I still chuckle when I think of the Cashmere sweater she wanted to buy me when I was ten years old. I kept petting the garment, as it was nothing like I had ever encountered -- my mother divorced when I was young, so clothing four children wasn't an easy task. Well, I looked at the price tag, and immediately started making excuses for not buying me such a luxury. My mother and I never really discussed the sweater, but I have a feeling my mom knew I was worried over my grandmother's offers to help clothe her overweight granddaughter.
I want to admit to something I feel really upset about. I was getting excited as Christmas approached, so my grandmother could see how much weight I had lost in the last year. Not that my grandmother loved me any less because I was fat, I just looked forward to showing her I was healthy and actually getting around better as I am losing weight. My grandmother never said anything about my weight, as it was a non-issue with her. I actually tried to explain to her last year about my operation, but she said her hearing wasn't as good as she was used to, and I just let the whole topic go. My correspondence with my grandmother was my main way to communicate, mostly because of distance, and partly from my own shame. Yup, I was feeling deep shame that my weight had gotten so completely out of control, I preferred to call or write my grandmother, instead of showing her I was unhealthy and extremely obese.
The very thought that my weight had made me feel the need to hide from someone who had always loved me makes this so hard to write. My eyes are going to regret this posting, but I know I need to write this. If this shows at least one person that if you hide because of your weight you are not only hurting yourself, you may be hurting others, then my tears are worth it. Typically, I am a very open person, and rarely let my size ever keep me from doing anything in the public eye, but I admit to one fear that I regret with all my being: Hiding away from my grandmother because I felt I was too fat.
My mother died in 2004, and that was when I was originally going to get my gastric bypass. Sadly, my mother told me her two regrets: Not seeing my daughter's completed orthodontia - which required surgery, and my finally being a "normal" size - which also required surgery. My mother NEVER made me feel bad about myself because of my weight, just the opposite. She told me that I was the "strongest person" she knew, because I "never hid from doing so many public things". Now, I sadly have two women in my life I cannot share my success with, and I am deeply saddened by this.
I tell people all the time, "Lose weight for YOU!" Okay, I wish I had lost my weight before two important women in my life passed, just to say, "See, I am going to be just fine! I am healthy!" Longevity runs on both sides of my family, and sadly obesity walks alongside it. So I did not want my family worrying I was shortening my life, but instead being that healthy and active girl they saw grow up. I am in the process of increasing my lifespan, mainly because I want to see how this whole thing ends. I planned at a very young age that I want to live to at least 96 years old, so I swim everyday and work on a healthy lifestyle. When my daughter has children of her own, I want to be know for my deeds as a grandmother, not for my size. "Great Grandma Hazel was so fat, she had to loop her underpants around one foot, and lasso the other to get them on!" This was one of those stories I grew up with, and I don't want folks comparing me to my Great Aunt Maura, "who was as wide as she was tall"... Become as healthy as you can be, and if you are shamed by your size, just remember, we only have a short time here, make the most of it!
Anyhow, I feel a little better, and hope this will make others consider their behavior. If you are considering why you want surgery, I sure hope your first answer is to be healthy. My second reason for surgery was I wanted to live a long time with the people I love, and I just didn't want to waste precious moments sitting on the couch. Having special people in our lives is never a guaranty, but it sure makes life a whole lot easier to live! Be strong for those who love you!
Brenda : )~
17 comments
My grandmother passed away, at the age of 93. I had just written her, telling her I was looking forward to my upcoming trip -- she lived in San Francisco, only to find she never got my letter. My grandmother was always a supportive and loving person in my life, offering to get a seamstress for me when I was young and quite chubby. She never made me feel uncomfortable about my size, and other than my embarrassment over the price of clothing she often offered to buy me, she was a grand woman! I still chuckle when I think of the Cashmere sweater she wanted to buy me when I was ten years old. I kept petting the garment, as it was nothing like I had ever encountered -- my mother divorced when I was young, so clothing four children wasn't an easy task. Well, I looked at the price tag, and immediately started making excuses for not buying me such a luxury. My mother and I never really discussed the sweater, but I have a feeling my mom knew I was worried over my grandmother's offers to help clothe her overweight granddaughter.
I want to admit to something I feel really upset about. I was getting excited as Christmas approached, so my grandmother could see how much weight I had lost in the last year. Not that my grandmother loved me any less because I was fat, I just looked forward to showing her I was healthy and actually getting around better as I am losing weight. My grandmother never said anything about my weight, as it was a non-issue with her. I actually tried to explain to her last year about my operation, but she said her hearing wasn't as good as she was used to, and I just let the whole topic go. My correspondence with my grandmother was my main way to communicate, mostly because of distance, and partly from my own shame. Yup, I was feeling deep shame that my weight had gotten so completely out of control, I preferred to call or write my grandmother, instead of showing her I was unhealthy and extremely obese.
The very thought that my weight had made me feel the need to hide from someone who had always loved me makes this so hard to write. My eyes are going to regret this posting, but I know I need to write this. If this shows at least one person that if you hide because of your weight you are not only hurting yourself, you may be hurting others, then my tears are worth it. Typically, I am a very open person, and rarely let my size ever keep me from doing anything in the public eye, but I admit to one fear that I regret with all my being: Hiding away from my grandmother because I felt I was too fat.
My mother died in 2004, and that was when I was originally going to get my gastric bypass. Sadly, my mother told me her two regrets: Not seeing my daughter's completed orthodontia - which required surgery, and my finally being a "normal" size - which also required surgery. My mother NEVER made me feel bad about myself because of my weight, just the opposite. She told me that I was the "strongest person" she knew, because I "never hid from doing so many public things". Now, I sadly have two women in my life I cannot share my success with, and I am deeply saddened by this.
I tell people all the time, "Lose weight for YOU!" Okay, I wish I had lost my weight before two important women in my life passed, just to say, "See, I am going to be just fine! I am healthy!" Longevity runs on both sides of my family, and sadly obesity walks alongside it. So I did not want my family worrying I was shortening my life, but instead being that healthy and active girl they saw grow up. I am in the process of increasing my lifespan, mainly because I want to see how this whole thing ends. I planned at a very young age that I want to live to at least 96 years old, so I swim everyday and work on a healthy lifestyle. When my daughter has children of her own, I want to be know for my deeds as a grandmother, not for my size. "Great Grandma Hazel was so fat, she had to loop her underpants around one foot, and lasso the other to get them on!" This was one of those stories I grew up with, and I don't want folks comparing me to my Great Aunt Maura, "who was as wide as she was tall"... Become as healthy as you can be, and if you are shamed by your size, just remember, we only have a short time here, make the most of it!
Anyhow, I feel a little better, and hope this will make others consider their behavior. If you are considering why you want surgery, I sure hope your first answer is to be healthy. My second reason for surgery was I wanted to live a long time with the people I love, and I just didn't want to waste precious moments sitting on the couch. Having special people in our lives is never a guaranty, but it sure makes life a whole lot easier to live! Be strong for those who love you!
Brenda : )~
Sheephly I Write in Celebration...
Nov 15, 2011
As I just popped onto OH to do my usual checking in with folks, seeing how everyone is doing, I wasn't even going to be blogging, until... I just got off the phone with the office of the Plastic Surgeon I was scheduled to see in February, key word - WAS. I was told there was a cancellation, if I didn't mind dealing with rush hour morning traffic, Dr. Paige would like to meet me December 20th - a month and a half sooner than I was scheduled.
Laughingly, I thought to myself, "Why did I only ask to be seen in Federal Way???' Which is a suburb of Seattle, and little to no traffic for me to deal with, but the surgeon only comes to Federal Way twice a month. I did agree to change my appointment date & time, and actually have a friendly voice to MEET on December 20th - as I had a fun conversation while making the appointment!
Part of me is apprehensive, "Am I jumping the gun?" "Is this surgeon going to tell me something I don't want to hear?" Is this really going to happen - SOON?" Believe it or not, no matter how positively I attempt to live, fear and negativity does try to creep in. Damn it! I am going to celebrate that I have worked very hard for this appointment, and hopefully Dr Paige will agree and look forward to having me as his patient! The worst thing he can tell me is NO. The second worst thing is NOT YET So, in the grand scheme of things, how is it any different from just wondering IF? Yup, sometimes I am a scardey cat, but then I stop myself, ask why, then usually face what ever it is I am afraid of. Next time you have one of those, "I can't; I'm afraid" moments, just think of Brenda standing next to you, telling you to "GO FOR IT!"
Yup, it is starting to sink in, I am actually a little overwhelmed with emotion, but don't tell anyone! I hate to admit I have warm and fuzzy feelings, I spend way too much time keeping my shoulders squared, head held high, to admit that I do get misty eyed from certain topics. My life has been one of self reliance, so it is hard to allow anyone to help me along in my journey, sad but true. I am learning how, really, and part of the reason I spill all my thoughts out here, is to maybe make one other person understand that feelings are what make us human.
I haven't even told anyone else this cool news. I am excited, a little freaked -- "Will I finally be getting rid of my FUP?!" Something that (no pun intended) has been a big part of my life may finally be GONE - wow. Yup, that was a little wow, because I still haven't heard the "Okee Dokee" from Doc Paige... Hey Seattle, are you ready for me??? I'll be driving to Pill Hill bright and early on Tuesday, December 20th, and I will bring extra Kleenex with me!
Now, I guess I should message my boyfriend, as he has been here for the whole journey and deserves to be told! The next text will go to my Weight Loss Buddy, as she said she would go anywhere with me, even into Seattle, maybe I can use the commute lane that day... I'll keep positive thoughts, and I usually don't ask this, but anyone wanting to toss some positive energy my way, I would appreciate it!
Wiping a tear as I sign off --
Brenda : )~
13 comments
Laughingly, I thought to myself, "Why did I only ask to be seen in Federal Way???' Which is a suburb of Seattle, and little to no traffic for me to deal with, but the surgeon only comes to Federal Way twice a month. I did agree to change my appointment date & time, and actually have a friendly voice to MEET on December 20th - as I had a fun conversation while making the appointment!
Part of me is apprehensive, "Am I jumping the gun?" "Is this surgeon going to tell me something I don't want to hear?" Is this really going to happen - SOON?" Believe it or not, no matter how positively I attempt to live, fear and negativity does try to creep in. Damn it! I am going to celebrate that I have worked very hard for this appointment, and hopefully Dr Paige will agree and look forward to having me as his patient! The worst thing he can tell me is NO. The second worst thing is NOT YET So, in the grand scheme of things, how is it any different from just wondering IF? Yup, sometimes I am a scardey cat, but then I stop myself, ask why, then usually face what ever it is I am afraid of. Next time you have one of those, "I can't; I'm afraid" moments, just think of Brenda standing next to you, telling you to "GO FOR IT!"
Yup, it is starting to sink in, I am actually a little overwhelmed with emotion, but don't tell anyone! I hate to admit I have warm and fuzzy feelings, I spend way too much time keeping my shoulders squared, head held high, to admit that I do get misty eyed from certain topics. My life has been one of self reliance, so it is hard to allow anyone to help me along in my journey, sad but true. I am learning how, really, and part of the reason I spill all my thoughts out here, is to maybe make one other person understand that feelings are what make us human.
I haven't even told anyone else this cool news. I am excited, a little freaked -- "Will I finally be getting rid of my FUP?!" Something that (no pun intended) has been a big part of my life may finally be GONE - wow. Yup, that was a little wow, because I still haven't heard the "Okee Dokee" from Doc Paige... Hey Seattle, are you ready for me??? I'll be driving to Pill Hill bright and early on Tuesday, December 20th, and I will bring extra Kleenex with me!
Now, I guess I should message my boyfriend, as he has been here for the whole journey and deserves to be told! The next text will go to my Weight Loss Buddy, as she said she would go anywhere with me, even into Seattle, maybe I can use the commute lane that day... I'll keep positive thoughts, and I usually don't ask this, but anyone wanting to toss some positive energy my way, I would appreciate it!
Wiping a tear as I sign off --
Brenda : )~
Measurents for (almost) One Year...
Nov 11, 2011
As I believe in full disclosure, I am happy to share my measurements for the year. I was happy and a little overwhelmed with the numbers I got. One measurement made me laugh, my biceps - they are the same measurement, just FIRMER. Drum roll please...
Overall inches lost: 67.5
Pounds lost: 161
BMI points lost: 25.4
NSV - too many to count!
13 comments
Overall inches lost: 67.5
Pounds lost: 161
BMI points lost: 25.4
NSV - too many to count!
Waist – 62 – 51 – 11 inches lost -- Neck – 16.5 – 14 – 2.5 inches lost -- Forearms – 12 – 11 - 2 inches lost
Chest (not cup) - 54 – 43 – 11 inches lost -- Hip – 80 – 63 – 17 inches lost -- Thigh 36.5 – 30 – 13 inches lost
Calf – 24.5 – 19 – 11 inches lost
My journey is far from over, but for now I am pretty happy with the progress. Just remember, you will always have support on Obesity Help - and remember to celebrate your victories - as we are all in this TOGETHER! Stay Positive!
Brenda : )~
Dunlaps Disease, and YOU...
Nov 10, 2011
Today, I swam for a tragic disease which no longer just afflicts adults, Dunlap's Disease. You may wonder how this disease has been allowed to ravage our country, even our children, but if we all join together, we can wipe out Dunlap's Disease PERMANENTLY!
You may be asking "what exactly is Dunlap's Disease?" Frankly, and unflatteringly, it is when a person wears pants too tight and the belly "dun laps" over their belt. Usually those afflicted with this disease were merely chubby, but they have also discovered those people did not in fact have Dunlap's Disease, but Muffin Top. To see our country's youth now suffering from a disease that could and should be prevented, is just crazy. So, today, I swam 3.278 miles for the fight against Dunlap's Disease!
Okay, that was kind of funny, but it does bring me to the real reason I decided to write this particular blog subject, I had to lay on my bed to zip up a pair of size 26 pants I was hoping would fit. After getting the zipper up, I already KNEW how bad they would look in the mirror, but I humored myself, laughed and actually yelled out "Oh, hell no!" and stripped the jeans off & dug in my drawer for a pair that actually fit. I would like to add that I am so damn proud of myself for getting into a pair of size 28 NON-STRETCH, zipper fly jeans, I did extra swimming. To have gone from the same type of pants in a size 44 just a year ago, hell yeah, I don't need to wear Dunlap's Jeans in a size 26 - I'll just keep working on getting into them!
While spending two hours in solitude, that is what I call my swimming, I also made the decision to rid my closets of 90% of all my pants that have a stretch waist & no zipper fly. Those pants are so dangerous!!! Talk about kidding ones self, "Oooo, look, I am in a pair of size 26 jeans, with ROOM to spare!" Not really, they will fit someone possibly cresting into size 30 jean status, but with all that damn elastic, who could tell?! Now, there is a reason to keep some jeans or pants that have some or a lot of elastic, that is because I actually have a waist, and need to keep from showing Whale Tail.... Oooo, you know you have accomplish a great feat of weight loss when you can grab some of those ultra sexy panties you had for when you FINALLY lost that weight & wanted to strut! I am also seriously considering getting rid of 90% of my cotton briefs - as they really aren't very flattering, and seriously don't make me feel sexy!
For all you folks out there wondering if you will lose your credit rating by over spending as you lose weight, here is my SOLID advice: Join at least ONE support group. Let me tell you, between the four groups I belong to, I have barely had to buy any new clothing - well, I also kept a LOT of my clothes, knowing "someday" would come. But at the same time, I have also given away 14 Hefty bags of clothing! Yes, fourteen, I did not mistype that. Tuesday I came home with some fabulous stuff, and Thanks to Tina, I plan to ROCK her suede jacket -- I really will give it a good home!!! I have two tubs and two Hefty bags in my garage - and I STILL need to go through clothing set aside in my spare bedroom, so yes, it feels great to spread the wealth!!! So, what's keeping YOU from going to a support group?
For those folks who say, "But there aren't any support groups in my area..." Have you ever considered starting one? What about looking for like minded folks, they don't have to be a surgical weight loss group -- or even weight loss at all -- support comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and sexes. From around age ten I was on again off again with TOPS, so if you are anywhere in the world, finding a TOPS Chapter near you should be easy - oh, and they DO have weight categories that include surgical patients (I used to love getting Queen for the month in my weight class, did you ever guess I have a competitive streak?) So, stop worrying about no one understanding what you are going through, if you advertise locally (Craigslist - Community -- a local paper) you will probably find at least one person willing to share the journey. My next door neighbor has whined to me about not belonging to a support group - I texted her Monday about a Tuesday meeting. Like I said, I belong to FOUR support groups, so anyone wanting to go can carpool with me anytime!
I promise to take my measurements & post a NEW swimsuit photo, as I will be having my first Surgiversary on the 16th of this month. I can wear an 18/20 top (under a loose top to hide my FUP aka my Pannus), and I am in a pair of non-stretch size 28 jeans. I am a pear, and looking forward to getting my panniculectomy, hopefully in the first half of 2012. Then, maybe I will be able to wear closer to a 20 or 22 jean... Oooo, I cannot wait! Nothing comes easily, but what you really have to ask yourself is this: Are you worth all this work? I am!!! Miles swam so far this year: 426 -- that just leaves 74 miles to go! Pounds lost: 162 - pounds to go -- I don't know, I will figure that out when I get there! Size of my jeans one year ago: 44. Size of my non-stretch zipper fly jeans today: 28, if that doesn't impress you, then you've never been fat!
Stay positive & don't let Dunlap's Disease get you!
Brenda : )~
8 comments
You may be asking "what exactly is Dunlap's Disease?" Frankly, and unflatteringly, it is when a person wears pants too tight and the belly "dun laps" over their belt. Usually those afflicted with this disease were merely chubby, but they have also discovered those people did not in fact have Dunlap's Disease, but Muffin Top. To see our country's youth now suffering from a disease that could and should be prevented, is just crazy. So, today, I swam 3.278 miles for the fight against Dunlap's Disease!
Okay, that was kind of funny, but it does bring me to the real reason I decided to write this particular blog subject, I had to lay on my bed to zip up a pair of size 26 pants I was hoping would fit. After getting the zipper up, I already KNEW how bad they would look in the mirror, but I humored myself, laughed and actually yelled out "Oh, hell no!" and stripped the jeans off & dug in my drawer for a pair that actually fit. I would like to add that I am so damn proud of myself for getting into a pair of size 28 NON-STRETCH, zipper fly jeans, I did extra swimming. To have gone from the same type of pants in a size 44 just a year ago, hell yeah, I don't need to wear Dunlap's Jeans in a size 26 - I'll just keep working on getting into them!
While spending two hours in solitude, that is what I call my swimming, I also made the decision to rid my closets of 90% of all my pants that have a stretch waist & no zipper fly. Those pants are so dangerous!!! Talk about kidding ones self, "Oooo, look, I am in a pair of size 26 jeans, with ROOM to spare!" Not really, they will fit someone possibly cresting into size 30 jean status, but with all that damn elastic, who could tell?! Now, there is a reason to keep some jeans or pants that have some or a lot of elastic, that is because I actually have a waist, and need to keep from showing Whale Tail.... Oooo, you know you have accomplish a great feat of weight loss when you can grab some of those ultra sexy panties you had for when you FINALLY lost that weight & wanted to strut! I am also seriously considering getting rid of 90% of my cotton briefs - as they really aren't very flattering, and seriously don't make me feel sexy!
For all you folks out there wondering if you will lose your credit rating by over spending as you lose weight, here is my SOLID advice: Join at least ONE support group. Let me tell you, between the four groups I belong to, I have barely had to buy any new clothing - well, I also kept a LOT of my clothes, knowing "someday" would come. But at the same time, I have also given away 14 Hefty bags of clothing! Yes, fourteen, I did not mistype that. Tuesday I came home with some fabulous stuff, and Thanks to Tina, I plan to ROCK her suede jacket -- I really will give it a good home!!! I have two tubs and two Hefty bags in my garage - and I STILL need to go through clothing set aside in my spare bedroom, so yes, it feels great to spread the wealth!!! So, what's keeping YOU from going to a support group?
For those folks who say, "But there aren't any support groups in my area..." Have you ever considered starting one? What about looking for like minded folks, they don't have to be a surgical weight loss group -- or even weight loss at all -- support comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, and sexes. From around age ten I was on again off again with TOPS, so if you are anywhere in the world, finding a TOPS Chapter near you should be easy - oh, and they DO have weight categories that include surgical patients (I used to love getting Queen for the month in my weight class, did you ever guess I have a competitive streak?) So, stop worrying about no one understanding what you are going through, if you advertise locally (Craigslist - Community -- a local paper) you will probably find at least one person willing to share the journey. My next door neighbor has whined to me about not belonging to a support group - I texted her Monday about a Tuesday meeting. Like I said, I belong to FOUR support groups, so anyone wanting to go can carpool with me anytime!
I promise to take my measurements & post a NEW swimsuit photo, as I will be having my first Surgiversary on the 16th of this month. I can wear an 18/20 top (under a loose top to hide my FUP aka my Pannus), and I am in a pair of non-stretch size 28 jeans. I am a pear, and looking forward to getting my panniculectomy, hopefully in the first half of 2012. Then, maybe I will be able to wear closer to a 20 or 22 jean... Oooo, I cannot wait! Nothing comes easily, but what you really have to ask yourself is this: Are you worth all this work? I am!!! Miles swam so far this year: 426 -- that just leaves 74 miles to go! Pounds lost: 162 - pounds to go -- I don't know, I will figure that out when I get there! Size of my jeans one year ago: 44. Size of my non-stretch zipper fly jeans today: 28, if that doesn't impress you, then you've never been fat!
Stay positive & don't let Dunlap's Disease get you!
Brenda : )~
What One Year Means in a Long Life...
Nov 08, 2011
Almost one year down, a life still left to go! I went to my surgeons office yesterday, and had the long conversation of how my "journey" is going. I get it, I will NEVER be cured, I will always have to struggle, and I am cool with this fact. Anything worth having is worth working for - right?
What I was told sort of made me laugh, and then realize it is pretty much the case with folks I saw go before me (I had 17 friends go the Bariatric route). Around the one year mark, vitamins don't seem as important, "I'll get some more next time I am at Costco..." Portion control is exaggerated, "I had surgery, there is NO WAY I will ever eat too much to become fat as I was!" Exercise doesn't seem as important - or worse - it never was in the first place, "I was 'fixed,' I'll NEVER get fat, again!" Well, I am not one of those folks, and got an affirmation from my surgeon's medical team saying they are proud of me for "getting it".
I am nowhere near any goal weight, heck I have mini goals & still have yet to break out of the 300 pound range - I was 314 yesterday. But, I can see where I was, and I can only keep working to get where I want to go - and if it takes me longer than most, so be it. I already am convinced the only thing that had kept me in the high 200 pound range was my physical activity prior to injury in 2003. I still am in pain, but I am finding ways to keep active - for LIFE. It has been almost a decade since I was under 300 pounds, but I will make it there before it becomes a decade!
My appointment has been made with the reconstructive surgeon, after the long conversation of, "You do realize how long you will be UNABLE to exercise for, right?" Yup, it is two months. So, I decided not to be greedy, and accept the first appointment in February of this upcoming year. I figure I could have gone into Seattle Proper (I live in the suburbs), but what is a month more or less? I opted for the no traffic, less crowded appointment, and I am happy to know I will have a couple months to continue working, so the surgeon can just peel the damn fat away from my muscled core! Yup, I said it, I have some serious muscles in my core, I did crunches for the Nurse Practitioner to prove it (well, it was part of the exam).
The conversation went a little like this: You aren't expected to reach a "goal weight," we want you to have been at a stable weight - not losing - for two to three months, but in your case, it really is an impedance (the pannus) that makes exercise so much more difficult. If you need a second surgery, it can be done...
I am still losing weight - slowly, but still losing. I am building lots of muscle; I attend MULTIPLE support groups; I am still working within the program's main goals - portion size, 100 grams of protein, water, vitamins; and of course - exercise DAILY. Sure, I am not perfect, I sometimes eat more than I should - or "forbidden" foods like a piece of bread - but I also realize that this is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE, and I still have at least another five decades of this journey left. Optimism, my friends, isn't always easy, but necessary to enjoy the journey we are all on! We all have "one of those days." Well, after "one of those days" pulls you down, pick yourself up & push forward! I swear you will look forward to waking up when you work on the one element we all need to work on - attitude! I hate cold weather, yet I just laugh that now that I have lost so much weight, I can LAYER my clothing & not seem any bulkier than if I only wore ONE LAYER. See, instead of focusing on something I dislike, I try to laugh & see the positive about it -- layering clothing saves me on my heating bill!
When you start to stop being on top of all the things you were told you would have to do after surgery, it is just a matter of a few pounds before you realize that you need to get back on track. I am having a hard time with staying on track, but being aware of what I need to do, and working at it daily, really actually keeps me in the race! Get it, track, race, yeah, I try to be witty, sometimes falling short ;) Anyhow, just because you hit a certain number doesn't mean you suddenly are done, there is years left to stay in maintenance. I know I was confused when my mother took me to TOPS when I was ten years old -- "Why do they keep coming, they aren't fat anymore?" My mother told me it was because they never wanted to be fat AGAIN, that is what kept so many of the KOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly - Keep Off Pounds Sensibly) coming back every week to weigh in.
I will keep checking in with my surgeon, and hopefully I will be one of those patients they look forward to seeing! Maintenance is for life - I am SO looking forward to FINALLY be in maintenance! One year, almost, with a life left to go!
Stay positive!
Brenda : )~
13 comments
What I was told sort of made me laugh, and then realize it is pretty much the case with folks I saw go before me (I had 17 friends go the Bariatric route). Around the one year mark, vitamins don't seem as important, "I'll get some more next time I am at Costco..." Portion control is exaggerated, "I had surgery, there is NO WAY I will ever eat too much to become fat as I was!" Exercise doesn't seem as important - or worse - it never was in the first place, "I was 'fixed,' I'll NEVER get fat, again!" Well, I am not one of those folks, and got an affirmation from my surgeon's medical team saying they are proud of me for "getting it".
I am nowhere near any goal weight, heck I have mini goals & still have yet to break out of the 300 pound range - I was 314 yesterday. But, I can see where I was, and I can only keep working to get where I want to go - and if it takes me longer than most, so be it. I already am convinced the only thing that had kept me in the high 200 pound range was my physical activity prior to injury in 2003. I still am in pain, but I am finding ways to keep active - for LIFE. It has been almost a decade since I was under 300 pounds, but I will make it there before it becomes a decade!
My appointment has been made with the reconstructive surgeon, after the long conversation of, "You do realize how long you will be UNABLE to exercise for, right?" Yup, it is two months. So, I decided not to be greedy, and accept the first appointment in February of this upcoming year. I figure I could have gone into Seattle Proper (I live in the suburbs), but what is a month more or less? I opted for the no traffic, less crowded appointment, and I am happy to know I will have a couple months to continue working, so the surgeon can just peel the damn fat away from my muscled core! Yup, I said it, I have some serious muscles in my core, I did crunches for the Nurse Practitioner to prove it (well, it was part of the exam).
The conversation went a little like this: You aren't expected to reach a "goal weight," we want you to have been at a stable weight - not losing - for two to three months, but in your case, it really is an impedance (the pannus) that makes exercise so much more difficult. If you need a second surgery, it can be done...
I am still losing weight - slowly, but still losing. I am building lots of muscle; I attend MULTIPLE support groups; I am still working within the program's main goals - portion size, 100 grams of protein, water, vitamins; and of course - exercise DAILY. Sure, I am not perfect, I sometimes eat more than I should - or "forbidden" foods like a piece of bread - but I also realize that this is a LIFESTYLE CHANGE, and I still have at least another five decades of this journey left. Optimism, my friends, isn't always easy, but necessary to enjoy the journey we are all on! We all have "one of those days." Well, after "one of those days" pulls you down, pick yourself up & push forward! I swear you will look forward to waking up when you work on the one element we all need to work on - attitude! I hate cold weather, yet I just laugh that now that I have lost so much weight, I can LAYER my clothing & not seem any bulkier than if I only wore ONE LAYER. See, instead of focusing on something I dislike, I try to laugh & see the positive about it -- layering clothing saves me on my heating bill!
When you start to stop being on top of all the things you were told you would have to do after surgery, it is just a matter of a few pounds before you realize that you need to get back on track. I am having a hard time with staying on track, but being aware of what I need to do, and working at it daily, really actually keeps me in the race! Get it, track, race, yeah, I try to be witty, sometimes falling short ;) Anyhow, just because you hit a certain number doesn't mean you suddenly are done, there is years left to stay in maintenance. I know I was confused when my mother took me to TOPS when I was ten years old -- "Why do they keep coming, they aren't fat anymore?" My mother told me it was because they never wanted to be fat AGAIN, that is what kept so many of the KOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly - Keep Off Pounds Sensibly) coming back every week to weigh in.
I will keep checking in with my surgeon, and hopefully I will be one of those patients they look forward to seeing! Maintenance is for life - I am SO looking forward to FINALLY be in maintenance! One year, almost, with a life left to go!
Stay positive!
Brenda : )~
Two Months to swim 102 Miles, Can She Do It???
Nov 01, 2011
The frost is on the pumpkin, for sure in Seattle! I woke up this morning feeling miserable, because I sleep badly in a cold room. Yes, I chose the WRONG geographic location to settle, I just had to put the insulation covers on all four of my outdoor facets, sigh, Fall is here with Winter breathing down hard.
My swim today was all right, the water a little cooler than usual, but I am now at mile 398, and starting to worry about making the last hundred plus miles in the next two months to meet my goal of 500 miles swam. Why? The weather! I live on a hill known by locals as "Suicide Hill," as it gets closed to traffic, and is used by the local kids as a sled hill. Last year I went THREE WEEKS without mail service, which really left me not feeling the Holiday Spirit - no cards to enjoy, sigh. Nothing like having no garbage service either, glad I have an extra recycle can. When the weather starts showing signs of Winter - Fall is almost a no show this year, similarly Summer left me wanting - I wonder when the roads will be bad enough to keep me from swimming. I live about ten miles from the Aquatic Center, so it will be a wait & see if I can knock out those last hundred miles.
As for weight, I am still at a plateau, so all you out there who get angry you aren't losing, you just have to keep on top of your habits. My one year follow up is coming up, shy ten days from my "Surgiversery," and I am preparing to ask all sorts of questions. Admittedly, I have NOT been keeping my food journal, so guess what? When you get in a stall, you go back to square one! Measuring and logging food is your best yardstick to whether you are really on track or like I feel, a little over the measurements needed to succeed at this job. I know, I know, it should not be a doctor's appointment to get you focused, but okay, I am like a lot of others out there - it does make me say, "Am I doing all I could and should be doing?" Exercise is a definite yes, but the food logs & measuring, is a no.
I just tried Chike's new Coffee Protein Drink - I don't know if they have a name for it yet, but I really enjoyed it! At 139 calories, it packed 20 grams of protein, with 25% of the RDA's vitamin & mineral suggested minimum. Okay, coming from someone who LOVES coffee (I have Kona coffee & Peaberry shipped to me), I will be giving them a thumbs up for texture, but I think it needs more coffee -- in my opinion. Here's how I work with MY Chike all warm & toasty... I start with either room temp coffee or tea (Chai tea is FABULOUS with Vanilla Chike), I then stir in two scoops of Chike to 10 ounces of fluid, then I microwave one minute, stir, add another minute, until I have the right amount of warmth -- too hot will destroy the protein, so be aware of how high your microwave heats. So far my favorites have been Vanilla Chike with Chai Tea, Chocolate Chike with coffee -- Vanilla is almost neck & neck, but I admit I love chocolate in my coffee! The Orange Chike in coffee reminds me of Christmas, don't ask why, it just does. I still have other combinations - but if you have it in the kitchen, give it a try!
To all you who are taking supplements & wonder if it helps, I only had a slight cold last year, and that was the first one in over a year! I take Selenium along with my multivitamins, calcium citrate, and I swear it helps. It is a cheap way of trying to boost my odds at keeping colds at bay. I do not get a flu shot, even with my family practitioner telling me to, I just rely on my good health habits, deep breathing with my snorkel, and walking around small children in public - ha ha! I am toying with the idea of adding cinnamon to my supplement regime - it supposedly heats you up, which I sorely need in Seattle. Anyone out there using cinnamon, give me a holler if you care to share.
Set goals for yourself - lots of small ones - they help make the journey have "landmarks," my way of keeping things interesting. I can fit comfortably in my tub, so I am planning some wonderful baths with salts. Oh, and I am going nuts with my pants, the legs are GROWING as I am shrinking! Not really, but I find that the less I stretch the fabric horizontally, the more vertical length is left, sigh!!! I laughed when I was measured before surgery, "Oh, you usually gain an inch after you lose weight, as your posture improves..." Ummmm, nope! I am still the same height before surgery, but my pants legs are mysteriously growing, time to hem some pants. My only other option, which I think is fabulous, is to wear higher heeled shoes -- Ooooo La La! Yup, I have great shoes waiting to be utilized, so why the heck not?! I have three pairs of boots I have to check for size, one pair never fit, so bring on Winter!
Stay positive, and you will enjoy life that much more! Oh, and next time you are at a four way stop, try waving someone through, believe it or not, it may make you feel better!
Brenda : )~
7 comments
My swim today was all right, the water a little cooler than usual, but I am now at mile 398, and starting to worry about making the last hundred plus miles in the next two months to meet my goal of 500 miles swam. Why? The weather! I live on a hill known by locals as "Suicide Hill," as it gets closed to traffic, and is used by the local kids as a sled hill. Last year I went THREE WEEKS without mail service, which really left me not feeling the Holiday Spirit - no cards to enjoy, sigh. Nothing like having no garbage service either, glad I have an extra recycle can. When the weather starts showing signs of Winter - Fall is almost a no show this year, similarly Summer left me wanting - I wonder when the roads will be bad enough to keep me from swimming. I live about ten miles from the Aquatic Center, so it will be a wait & see if I can knock out those last hundred miles.
As for weight, I am still at a plateau, so all you out there who get angry you aren't losing, you just have to keep on top of your habits. My one year follow up is coming up, shy ten days from my "Surgiversery," and I am preparing to ask all sorts of questions. Admittedly, I have NOT been keeping my food journal, so guess what? When you get in a stall, you go back to square one! Measuring and logging food is your best yardstick to whether you are really on track or like I feel, a little over the measurements needed to succeed at this job. I know, I know, it should not be a doctor's appointment to get you focused, but okay, I am like a lot of others out there - it does make me say, "Am I doing all I could and should be doing?" Exercise is a definite yes, but the food logs & measuring, is a no.
I just tried Chike's new Coffee Protein Drink - I don't know if they have a name for it yet, but I really enjoyed it! At 139 calories, it packed 20 grams of protein, with 25% of the RDA's vitamin & mineral suggested minimum. Okay, coming from someone who LOVES coffee (I have Kona coffee & Peaberry shipped to me), I will be giving them a thumbs up for texture, but I think it needs more coffee -- in my opinion. Here's how I work with MY Chike all warm & toasty... I start with either room temp coffee or tea (Chai tea is FABULOUS with Vanilla Chike), I then stir in two scoops of Chike to 10 ounces of fluid, then I microwave one minute, stir, add another minute, until I have the right amount of warmth -- too hot will destroy the protein, so be aware of how high your microwave heats. So far my favorites have been Vanilla Chike with Chai Tea, Chocolate Chike with coffee -- Vanilla is almost neck & neck, but I admit I love chocolate in my coffee! The Orange Chike in coffee reminds me of Christmas, don't ask why, it just does. I still have other combinations - but if you have it in the kitchen, give it a try!
To all you who are taking supplements & wonder if it helps, I only had a slight cold last year, and that was the first one in over a year! I take Selenium along with my multivitamins, calcium citrate, and I swear it helps. It is a cheap way of trying to boost my odds at keeping colds at bay. I do not get a flu shot, even with my family practitioner telling me to, I just rely on my good health habits, deep breathing with my snorkel, and walking around small children in public - ha ha! I am toying with the idea of adding cinnamon to my supplement regime - it supposedly heats you up, which I sorely need in Seattle. Anyone out there using cinnamon, give me a holler if you care to share.
Set goals for yourself - lots of small ones - they help make the journey have "landmarks," my way of keeping things interesting. I can fit comfortably in my tub, so I am planning some wonderful baths with salts. Oh, and I am going nuts with my pants, the legs are GROWING as I am shrinking! Not really, but I find that the less I stretch the fabric horizontally, the more vertical length is left, sigh!!! I laughed when I was measured before surgery, "Oh, you usually gain an inch after you lose weight, as your posture improves..." Ummmm, nope! I am still the same height before surgery, but my pants legs are mysteriously growing, time to hem some pants. My only other option, which I think is fabulous, is to wear higher heeled shoes -- Ooooo La La! Yup, I have great shoes waiting to be utilized, so why the heck not?! I have three pairs of boots I have to check for size, one pair never fit, so bring on Winter!
Stay positive, and you will enjoy life that much more! Oh, and next time you are at a four way stop, try waving someone through, believe it or not, it may make you feel better!
Brenda : )~
Halloween, we ain't got no stinkin' candy!
Oct 31, 2011
Before you start thinking I am sort of Halloween Scrooge, I most certainly am not! My house is deck out as usual - I have had parents tell me they bring friends to MY neighborhood because of my house. Here is the skinny on the Treats in my house: Since I moved to the Pacific Northwest, I have striven to NOT give candy, not just because I feel they already have enough, I want to give something fun & memorable.
Thank you to the Ludlums who lived on the next block from the house I grew up in, for EVERY year giving combs & other odd treats! It inspired me to kick it up a notch, so I start when I see sales on single items like PlayDoh -- yup, the kids ask me at the door, "What are you giving out THIS YEAR?!" So, I have to give something fun & frivolous. Halloween is not always a welcome holiday to some, so please don't holler at me for my participation. It is a silly and fun holiday to me, so I enjoy putting up all my crazy decorations - my boyfriend asked why so many babies this year, "Dunno, just start pulling things out of the boxes & finding places for them to live!" Yes, I have an odd way of decorating, but no two years are alike, and there are ALWAYS new "boobie traps" that are motion sensor activated.
This year I scored a great big box of glow in the dark spiders, evidently sold at Universal Studios - so they are GREAT SWAG! I also have individual microwave popcorn (my boyfriend hates when I give popcorn as he thinks its boring), and the grab bag of odd leftovers from years prior -- I did find ONE PlayDoh tub... Yes, the kids get a bunch of candy, but I am at least glad they get some exercise in the process!
My own daughter would RUN from door to door when she figured out Halloween. So, yes, I have NO candy, so come on over to my house for the FUN!
Stay Positive!
Brenda : )~
6 comments
Thank you to the Ludlums who lived on the next block from the house I grew up in, for EVERY year giving combs & other odd treats! It inspired me to kick it up a notch, so I start when I see sales on single items like PlayDoh -- yup, the kids ask me at the door, "What are you giving out THIS YEAR?!" So, I have to give something fun & frivolous. Halloween is not always a welcome holiday to some, so please don't holler at me for my participation. It is a silly and fun holiday to me, so I enjoy putting up all my crazy decorations - my boyfriend asked why so many babies this year, "Dunno, just start pulling things out of the boxes & finding places for them to live!" Yes, I have an odd way of decorating, but no two years are alike, and there are ALWAYS new "boobie traps" that are motion sensor activated.
This year I scored a great big box of glow in the dark spiders, evidently sold at Universal Studios - so they are GREAT SWAG! I also have individual microwave popcorn (my boyfriend hates when I give popcorn as he thinks its boring), and the grab bag of odd leftovers from years prior -- I did find ONE PlayDoh tub... Yes, the kids get a bunch of candy, but I am at least glad they get some exercise in the process!
My own daughter would RUN from door to door when she figured out Halloween. So, yes, I have NO candy, so come on over to my house for the FUN!
Stay Positive!
Brenda : )~
Eleven Months and Counting...
Oct 27, 2011
From time to time I do take a little mental vacation from my usual blogginess - ha ha, for lack of a better word! I am coming up on my one year surgiversary, so all sorts of emotions come into play. I keep trying to remind myself to get a hold of my surgeon's office, so I can get blood work BEFORE my follow up, but "life" keeps making me bump things from my list of priorities.
For those of you researching surgery or about to get surgery, there are a lot of emotions you will go through after surgery. Before you worry, they aren't bad, most are quite pleasant, but surgery doesn't make life perfect. People ask the questions, "Do you regret surgery?" "How do you enjoy life knowing you cannot eat what you used to?" "Will I lose my hair?" "What about all that loose skin???" Trust me, these questions are just easy to answer - but you will have to remember that we all are different, so you will get different answers from different people.
The skin is an inconvenience, one I can totally live with. It weighs a lot, isn't attractive, but I already knew before surgery that my belly would deflate. So, which would you rather have, a huge belly that is firm or a deflated one that weighs significantly less? I choose the later! If you are like me with a large pannus (the fat apron that hangs over your pubic area) you will learn to dress with the darn thing in mind. I spent a few bucks on eBay, bought lots of spandex under garments - Slimpressions is a great product if you want a brand to look at - and I use them most days. I actually have found that non stretch jeans are GREAT for keeping me on task with my portion control! When you are all compacted, you cannot fit much more into your belly. I swim five days a week, so my pannus makes me wear a second swimsuit -- as my belly leaks out the legs - it is one of the things I have adapted to.
Hair. Yes, you will lose some hair, but it also depends on your diet! I lost some hair around months 6 - 8 I think, but it all came back, and is quite healthy. Daily, I drink one or two meal replacement shakes because my protein goals are higher than many out there - I LOVE Chike if you want a brand to consider. I get LOTS of protein, took vitamins & supplements before & after surgery, so I have lots of hair. Oh, and I use non-sulfate shampoo -- Pureology is my favorite - but there are more and more shampoos without sulfates, just have to read the labels. When your hair starts coming out, try not to wash it too frequently - I swim so I had to. Also, be gentle when combing & brushing. It will grow back, so try not to be too worried.
What did I give up after surgery, food wise? Not too many things, I already had a healthy diet, so quantity is the only thing I would say. Head hunger is still something I battle daily - especially in bed at night. Obviously the emotional need to eat does not get cut out when you have surgery -- otherwise we would NOT need support ;) My cravings for sweets aren't any worse than before surgery, and contrary to my original wishes, I do not dump (insert a firm angry word here). I am always on top of what I put in my mouth - whether it is water, food, or even caffeine. Shhhh, I have to tell you a secret... I never was effected by caffeine before surgery, but now, just a small cup of coffee makes me squirrely! I talked to my general practitioner about it, she told me she was jealous, she no longer got the "rush" from caffeine that I now experience. Coffee is a vice, so I only have it sparingly. I am not a soda drinker - so carbonation and artificial sweeteners are a non issue for me. Water is my drink of choice, always has been.
Going out with friends is not as uncomfortable as some may think it will be. Many of my friends do NOT know I had surgery. Yup, I just said it, and it is none of their business just as I do not tell my buddies when I go to my gynecologist! I eat smaller portions, have been asking for take out boxes for over a year before surgery -- I started to walk the walk a year before surgery, so surgery wasn't a shock to my body. I will say though, that I think because I was already eating a healthy, low calorie diet, it probably is why I haven't lost as crazy fast as other "heavyweights" who had surgery at BMI's over 50. It took me YEARS to get that fat, I will have to work for YEARS to get the weight off. Rome wasn't built in a day, and Brenda is still quite young enough to build her improved body! Bread is something I miss every once in a while, so I will have a little. Yup, if you are good at eating slow, you probably can have bread, too. Oh, another thing that was hard to give up - drinking while I eat!!! This is something I initially "poo pooed," but truly, the fluid will push the food through and you aren't feeling as full if you just let the food be. I usually wait 20 minutes or more to have water, so just use your best judgment.
Okay, here is where I tell you that having a positive attitude is paramount to your success! Yup, I try very hard to look at things in a positive light -- ain't always easy, but it is necessary to me. When the weight starts coming off you will have NSV - Non Scale Victories - I had one on Monday - I FIT in my bathtub!!! I still need to mark it off my goal list, so look forward to setting & attaining YOUR goals! I am able to climb behind the wheel of my truck & have the seat straight up (I believe in good posture) and still be able to see the floor between me & the steering wheel. Climbing stairs used to make me wince, now I forget things daily & laugh when I happily climb one or two flights of stairs! The few things I have given up to lose weight are just non issues. Being able to carry my weight more easily has been the best thing in this last almost year out from surgery. Would I change anything? Yup. Am I regretting anything? Some. The main thing is that I am happier now than I have been in years - mostly because getting around is a lot easier for me. Don't have surgery just to become someone you are not -- do it to improve the someone you already are!
Ask questions before you get surgery. Get support before and after surgery. If you think surgery will "cure" fat, it won't, it is just a tool. Will you be able to play the piano after surgery? I don't know, did you play it before? There are NO "last meals," so don't think that way, you are setting yourself up for failure. Food is fuel - try to remember that - I have to remind MYSELF this, daily! Will losing weight get you Mr Right or Ms Right? NO! But if your attitude is good & your eyes are open, you probably will find that special someone. Will losing weight make your spouse or significant other leave you? Maybe. But, I doubt it is because WE change as we lose weight, not just our body size. Always be honest with yourself & others, and you will be fine.
Brenda : )~
14 comments
For those of you researching surgery or about to get surgery, there are a lot of emotions you will go through after surgery. Before you worry, they aren't bad, most are quite pleasant, but surgery doesn't make life perfect. People ask the questions, "Do you regret surgery?" "How do you enjoy life knowing you cannot eat what you used to?" "Will I lose my hair?" "What about all that loose skin???" Trust me, these questions are just easy to answer - but you will have to remember that we all are different, so you will get different answers from different people.
The skin is an inconvenience, one I can totally live with. It weighs a lot, isn't attractive, but I already knew before surgery that my belly would deflate. So, which would you rather have, a huge belly that is firm or a deflated one that weighs significantly less? I choose the later! If you are like me with a large pannus (the fat apron that hangs over your pubic area) you will learn to dress with the darn thing in mind. I spent a few bucks on eBay, bought lots of spandex under garments - Slimpressions is a great product if you want a brand to look at - and I use them most days. I actually have found that non stretch jeans are GREAT for keeping me on task with my portion control! When you are all compacted, you cannot fit much more into your belly. I swim five days a week, so my pannus makes me wear a second swimsuit -- as my belly leaks out the legs - it is one of the things I have adapted to.
Hair. Yes, you will lose some hair, but it also depends on your diet! I lost some hair around months 6 - 8 I think, but it all came back, and is quite healthy. Daily, I drink one or two meal replacement shakes because my protein goals are higher than many out there - I LOVE Chike if you want a brand to consider. I get LOTS of protein, took vitamins & supplements before & after surgery, so I have lots of hair. Oh, and I use non-sulfate shampoo -- Pureology is my favorite - but there are more and more shampoos without sulfates, just have to read the labels. When your hair starts coming out, try not to wash it too frequently - I swim so I had to. Also, be gentle when combing & brushing. It will grow back, so try not to be too worried.
What did I give up after surgery, food wise? Not too many things, I already had a healthy diet, so quantity is the only thing I would say. Head hunger is still something I battle daily - especially in bed at night. Obviously the emotional need to eat does not get cut out when you have surgery -- otherwise we would NOT need support ;) My cravings for sweets aren't any worse than before surgery, and contrary to my original wishes, I do not dump (insert a firm angry word here). I am always on top of what I put in my mouth - whether it is water, food, or even caffeine. Shhhh, I have to tell you a secret... I never was effected by caffeine before surgery, but now, just a small cup of coffee makes me squirrely! I talked to my general practitioner about it, she told me she was jealous, she no longer got the "rush" from caffeine that I now experience. Coffee is a vice, so I only have it sparingly. I am not a soda drinker - so carbonation and artificial sweeteners are a non issue for me. Water is my drink of choice, always has been.
Going out with friends is not as uncomfortable as some may think it will be. Many of my friends do NOT know I had surgery. Yup, I just said it, and it is none of their business just as I do not tell my buddies when I go to my gynecologist! I eat smaller portions, have been asking for take out boxes for over a year before surgery -- I started to walk the walk a year before surgery, so surgery wasn't a shock to my body. I will say though, that I think because I was already eating a healthy, low calorie diet, it probably is why I haven't lost as crazy fast as other "heavyweights" who had surgery at BMI's over 50. It took me YEARS to get that fat, I will have to work for YEARS to get the weight off. Rome wasn't built in a day, and Brenda is still quite young enough to build her improved body! Bread is something I miss every once in a while, so I will have a little. Yup, if you are good at eating slow, you probably can have bread, too. Oh, another thing that was hard to give up - drinking while I eat!!! This is something I initially "poo pooed," but truly, the fluid will push the food through and you aren't feeling as full if you just let the food be. I usually wait 20 minutes or more to have water, so just use your best judgment.
Okay, here is where I tell you that having a positive attitude is paramount to your success! Yup, I try very hard to look at things in a positive light -- ain't always easy, but it is necessary to me. When the weight starts coming off you will have NSV - Non Scale Victories - I had one on Monday - I FIT in my bathtub!!! I still need to mark it off my goal list, so look forward to setting & attaining YOUR goals! I am able to climb behind the wheel of my truck & have the seat straight up (I believe in good posture) and still be able to see the floor between me & the steering wheel. Climbing stairs used to make me wince, now I forget things daily & laugh when I happily climb one or two flights of stairs! The few things I have given up to lose weight are just non issues. Being able to carry my weight more easily has been the best thing in this last almost year out from surgery. Would I change anything? Yup. Am I regretting anything? Some. The main thing is that I am happier now than I have been in years - mostly because getting around is a lot easier for me. Don't have surgery just to become someone you are not -- do it to improve the someone you already are!
Ask questions before you get surgery. Get support before and after surgery. If you think surgery will "cure" fat, it won't, it is just a tool. Will you be able to play the piano after surgery? I don't know, did you play it before? There are NO "last meals," so don't think that way, you are setting yourself up for failure. Food is fuel - try to remember that - I have to remind MYSELF this, daily! Will losing weight get you Mr Right or Ms Right? NO! But if your attitude is good & your eyes are open, you probably will find that special someone. Will losing weight make your spouse or significant other leave you? Maybe. But, I doubt it is because WE change as we lose weight, not just our body size. Always be honest with yourself & others, and you will be fine.
Brenda : )~
Heading to the Kitchen...
Oct 07, 2011
I am feeling mar-vel-ous! I got my swimming done early, did a couple errands, then finished writing my reports, so it's ME time. One of the things about trying to deal with ones obesity is that you have to deal with food. I am not too pre-occupied with food, but will admit to having unexplained cravings. What I try to do is, instead of giving in & having what it is I was craving, work on something healthy & so appealing, the fast food or whatever pales in comparison!
Have you ever had the pleasure of eating Aussie Bites? They are these amazing little mini muffins chock full of good stuff, well, here is my version of Healthy Non-Aussie Bites...
You want to use MINI muffin tins - so this isn't a calorie rich bite - trust me, these puppies are dense & will satisfy ANY craving! Pre heat oven to 350, then start getting your creative mode! I like to toast my coconut on a cookie sheet - it does change the flavor, but not a necessary thing to do. Before you put all the dry ingredients together, set aside the baking powder - we will add it last. Then after the dry ingredients are happily mixed, in a separate bowl add the honey, brown sugar, apple sauce, and butter - nuke it a LITTLE to get it all warm & happy -- easier to mix. Don't ask me why, but if you then add the water to the baking soda, you can then mix it into the wet ingredients. I am sure there is a good reason, but I do not know what it is. Now comes the hard labor - mix the wet & dry ingredients, and TRY not to taste it! Spoon into the mini muffin tins - about half full - and bake for ten minutes. this recipe yields between 45 - 50 muffin bites. I grease my pans, and they pop right out. This is a good fiber filled muffin, and I may try adding some unflavored protein powder to it. I'll let you know if it works!
The last thing I will be making is my pressure cooked beef stew... Who says you cannot enjoy beef after surgery? Pressure cooker, baby!!! My secret is that I have a bay tree in my yard, and (shhhhh), I use Low Sodium V8 in my base! Oh, and RED onions, it makes a HUGE difference, believe it or not. If you are REALLY nice, I may share the complete recipe, but damn it, I get so many complements, this one is hard to share! I work with REALLY lean meat, which is supposed to be a no-no, but if you don't have experience with a pressure cooker - TRY IT!
If you try the Non-Aussie Bites, let me know how you & your peeps like them! I love playing in the kitchen, partly because I am cheap (Aussie Bites are expensive in my book), and I can control portion size & ingredients!
Brenda : )~
9 comments
Have you ever had the pleasure of eating Aussie Bites? They are these amazing little mini muffins chock full of good stuff, well, here is my version of Healthy Non-Aussie Bites...
- 2 cups rolled oats (not quick oats - go look at the bulk food isle, these are CHEAP)
- 2 cups whole wheat flour - I have even used spelt flour - so if you are gluten free, you know what to use!
- 1/2 cup UNSWEETENED coconut - again, I LOVE the bulk food isle for this one, too!
- 1/2 cup sunflower kernels- unsalted are best
- 3/4 cup Flax Seed - this stuff is amazing!!! Trust me, it tastes great in the muffin, and has added bennies!
- 1 cup dried fruit - go crazy with this! Cranberry, fig, apricot, golden raisin, cherry - I got blueberries the other day
- 1/4 cup honey - it does make the flavor, so try not to substitute this one
- 2/3 cup brown sugar - or brown sugar Splenda - I haven't tried with Agave yet...
- 1/2 cup of apple sauce & stick of butter - this is lower fat than other recipes I found, and really works!
- 1 teaspoon baking soda
- 2 tablespoon water
You want to use MINI muffin tins - so this isn't a calorie rich bite - trust me, these puppies are dense & will satisfy ANY craving! Pre heat oven to 350, then start getting your creative mode! I like to toast my coconut on a cookie sheet - it does change the flavor, but not a necessary thing to do. Before you put all the dry ingredients together, set aside the baking powder - we will add it last. Then after the dry ingredients are happily mixed, in a separate bowl add the honey, brown sugar, apple sauce, and butter - nuke it a LITTLE to get it all warm & happy -- easier to mix. Don't ask me why, but if you then add the water to the baking soda, you can then mix it into the wet ingredients. I am sure there is a good reason, but I do not know what it is. Now comes the hard labor - mix the wet & dry ingredients, and TRY not to taste it! Spoon into the mini muffin tins - about half full - and bake for ten minutes. this recipe yields between 45 - 50 muffin bites. I grease my pans, and they pop right out. This is a good fiber filled muffin, and I may try adding some unflavored protein powder to it. I'll let you know if it works!
The last thing I will be making is my pressure cooked beef stew... Who says you cannot enjoy beef after surgery? Pressure cooker, baby!!! My secret is that I have a bay tree in my yard, and (shhhhh), I use Low Sodium V8 in my base! Oh, and RED onions, it makes a HUGE difference, believe it or not. If you are REALLY nice, I may share the complete recipe, but damn it, I get so many complements, this one is hard to share! I work with REALLY lean meat, which is supposed to be a no-no, but if you don't have experience with a pressure cooker - TRY IT!
If you try the Non-Aussie Bites, let me know how you & your peeps like them! I love playing in the kitchen, partly because I am cheap (Aussie Bites are expensive in my book), and I can control portion size & ingredients!
Brenda : )~
About Me
38.8
BMI
Surgery
11/16/2010
Surgery Date
Mar 16, 2010
Member Since
Before & After
rollover to see after photo
