stellarsan
I've read my story on so manyother people's pages, each time thinking to myself, "Oh my god, I'm not alone", and "I can't believe so many people have been struggling so hard with exactly what I've been through" - well, not exactly, but close enough. I've been heavy most of my life, and as an adult my weight has crept up to a level that I'm just not even remotely comfortable with anymore.
As a child and through highschool, I was pretty active and I was able to maintain my weight. My gaining started late in high school after a double foot surgery that eventually left me unable to run. I was chubby up until then, but then my weight took on it's own persona. I managed to keep a semblance of control over it for a few years after highschool and through college. to do so, I tried Jenny Craign, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, and a million other things. I would temporarily lose weight and then I would find it, along with a few friendly extra pounds my old pounds met during their time away. Yo-yo, up and down, very frustrating.
In my mid-20's, I met and married a great man, who I though it was ok to eat as much as and I began to be much more sedentary. 3 months after we got married, we moved to boston and I started an intensive graduate program. I also became very depressed and was given medication to help control it - this was the beginning of the real pounds adding on.
We moved back to FL after a few years, and that's when I started looking into WLS. I decided it wasn't right for me ( I was not ready for such a drastic measure at the time and am glad that I recognized it because I know that i would not have been successful had I done it then), and tried unsuccessfully to lose weight. Through some miracle of miracles, I was heavy - I went from 209 when I got married to 279 7 years later - but had no diabetes, pre-diabetes, I had no hypertension, my blood pressure was normal. I did have a fatty liver and severe, severe slep apnea. I currently sleep tih an AutoSV, which is the big momma of sleep apnea machines - it helps some.
I became pregnant with our son when I was 2 weeks into going through the physician-assisted weightloss, the prerequisite for WLS approval from my insurance co. I was elated, and opted to put off the surgery. I had an amazing, very healthy pregnancy and my son is the best thing that has ever happened to me. After he was born, there was no doubt in my mind that I needed to make some significant and real changes in my life to ensure that I didn't miss this enormous opportunity that I had been given - to raise my son in a loving, nurturing home with healthy parents and good habits. So, I startd my doctor's appointments again, went back to the orientation and the support group meetings, and asked even more questions to anyone who would answer.
I am excited to do this, and I'm also a little scared, but I know I need this tool to help me reach my goals. The effects of the surgery won't last forever, but I am hoping that I can use them to my fullest ability and take advantage of the time to make lasting changes that will make my weightloss last and help me create the life that i want and not to settle for second best, - that includes a healthy me, inside and out. I know it won't be easy, but I am sure that it will be worth it.
