havent been on here in while...

Aug 12, 2012

my weight loss has stalled. i have never been a "small" person so i have had some reservations about my weight loss overall... i wanted to be at a "healthy" weight, but i think my goal (on a personal level) is unrealistic. I am now able to eat mostly anything i want. Of course in very small portions. but i find myself "grazing" all day because when i sit down for a "meal" i tend to either eat to fast or over eat and then im hurting... I think i want to get down about another 30-50 lbs and MAYBE touch "wonderland" (just for the sake of saying i did it!), but i dont want to pressure myself into loosing much more weight. My weight loss has uncovered lots of medical issues i didnt know i had and was once attributed to my obesity. But i hate coming on OH and seeing how others have lost so much more weight than me in a much shorter time. I DO have a lot of loose skin, however, with my weight loss stall im seeing my body "readjust" to the loss and it doesnt seem to look as bad as it once did. I have had a lot of hair loss too. But i have to be honest. I dont eat like i should and i dont take my vitamins/calcium supplements at all. I know i dont drink enough of anything (let alone water). So i understand that my weight loss has a lot to do with my bad habits and i am working on that. I have considered the fact that this was a life threatening surgery AND post-op, but when life takes over and my other illnesses...i just dont focus enough on ME to take care of ME. I have yet to get ino a gym. I did 1 gym experience since i have been released, but my other docs are telling me not to do it until they can get a handle on other ailments of my body. When i feel "GOOD", its good. When i feel bad, its really bad and i find myself regreting the surgery. People often tell me how good i look and they are so happy for me. and they just dont know the struggles i have on a daily basis simply BECAUSE i had this surgery. Im glad for those people who have had it,love it, love life and everything there is to enjoy being a smaller person and having lost the weight you had targeted for. All im saying is this may not have been the best thing for me... 

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