vikkihayward

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I tell ya, I wish this emotional roller coaster I was on would at least level out for a bit.  I had a rough night and woke up feeling depressed.  I am trying to snap out of it but it has been hard.  My port site is killing me, I feel bloated and fat, the scale is stalled and I had a hard time eating last night. I don't think strained cream of potato soup agrees with me.  It sat in my throat I swear all night.  I had to sleep propped up.  I think my migrane yesterday just slapped me around. I felt horrible after that and didn't snap out the rest of the night. 

Today is a new day and I will do my best to chill out and relax. I did figure out a great way to get my protein down. I am using the New Whey liquid protein shots, they are 3oz which are 42 grams of protein. It is expensive but I am not spending a ton on food right now either.  Well they are nasty, it is the consistancy of snot and they come in orange, fruit punch, grape and blue raspberry.  Since I can't chug them, sipping them was pure torture.  Today I made a glass of instant decafe iced tea then dumped a whole orange one in there and guess what....It tasted pretty good! It gave my tea a slight orange flavor and was not bad at all.  So at least that is one good thing is I know a way to get in more protein since I know that has been a problem for me.

Well better get to work, we have our Friday meeting soon and I have to get all my notes ready. 

Ahhh I tell ya, it is the little things in life.  Eating split pea soup last night and today was pure heaven! Last night I barely could get a 1/2 cup down but man it tasted good.  I had some for lunch today and I was able to eat quite a bit more at lunch so I am going to have to really pay attention to portion sizes I think.

I got much better sleep last night, I was able to lay on my right side a bit with a pillow wedged to support my tummy. I am a face sleeper so sleeping on my back was killing me.  I feel quite a bit better today actually.

I drove to work today and that went well, just a little sore when I got out of the car but I walked it off. Right now I have a horrible migrane though,  I wish I was at home so I could lay down. I have a history of migranes and they have been pretty bad the last month or so.  I am sure surgery, lack of calories, 22 days of liquids and stress have a big part in it.  I feel rather nausiated right now which I usually get during my migranes and it is driving me batty.

Well I just wanted to check in and updated. I am feeling a little bloaty today but I am assuming it is my body reacting to thicker foods, it is probably in shock!

Sorry it has been a few days since I posted, things have been nutty  and getting to a computer for more than a few minutes has been difficult. I have started back to work today, not sure if I will stay all day but I will give it a shot. My hubby drove me since my drive to work is about 45 minutes each way.  

I am doing much better now. The port incision is what hurts the most but I am dealing with it. I wish I had small boobs though, the incisions are so much higher than I thought they would be and two of them fall under my breasts and are driving me nuts to wear a bra but I have to at work.

I am SOOOO excited that I get to go to Full Liquids tonight!!! yippeeeee. I can't wait to taste creamy and blended soups and yogurt.  My weightloss has been stalled out since surgery but I am not too worried. I am sure it is because I did 2 weeks of liquids prior. I am down about 17 pounds unofficially. My post op appointment is not until the 18th. My doc sees you 2 weeks after unless there is a problem.  Each day has been better for getting calories, protein and water in. I can tell my body is in starvation mode so I am sure I am hanging on to anything I put in it.  

I have had trouble with my sipping small amounts so I took out a shot glass which is 2oz. I filled and made it last a few minutes with tiny sips. Ever since
then the deep gas pressure I was having in the middle of my chest stopped. I think I was just taking in too much air. When they say tiny sips they mean it!

I will post more later!

Well, I am doing much better today so I thought while it was all still fresh in my mind I would share my experience. It is funny how everyone's is so different.

I got to the hospital at 6am and I was put in a holding room. I put on a gown and started going over everything with the nurse. She put in my IV, and gave me an id band.  The anesthesiologist came in and talked to me for a bit and he ordered me some stuff for nausea based on my past experience with going under.  About 7:15 a guy came and got me and my hubby walked with us. We got to the surgery area and Doug gave me a kiss and he headed off to the waiting room. 

They wheeled me into a prep area where I met my surgery nurse and my nurse anesthetist. The bariatric coordinator came by to say good luck and check on me. They put some compression stockings on my lower legs that fill up with air and put pressure on your legs then release, it cycled every 30 seconds or so to prevent clotting.  They asked me a bunch of questions, pretty much the same thing as the first nurse. The nurse anesthetist gave me something to take the edge off and put my silly cap on.  One of the docs came in and said we will be going in just a minute.

Next thing I know I am being wheeled into a very bright room and having a lot of trouble opening my eyes. People are talking to me but I can't quite make them out. I am breathing really heavy trying not to throw up. I told them I was going to be sick and they told me to hang on and just keep breathing and I will be fine. The one girl said we don't want to give you anything else for nausea or I would be unconscious for too long, they need me to be up and walking shortly. 

They wheeled me to an elevator and said they were taking me to my room. Two nursed got in the elevator and I remember one of them saying, "your husband is in your room waiting for you, he has been pacing like an expecting father". I got to the room and was completely confused and my throat hurt so bad from the tubes they had used from surgery.  

I was in and out for a while and I finally started to snap out of it about 11am. they brought me some apple juice and wanted me to take tiny sips every 5 minutes to see if I was passing my fluids ok.  

About 11:30 they had me get out of bed and into a chair for a short bit. Then about noon I had to go for a walk through the halls. I walked about every 2 hours. When I wasn't walking I had the compression stockings on massaging my legs.  They brought me a bit of jello and broth which I could only get in about two bites of jello and a few sips of broth before I felt sick.  I could not get comfortable to save my life.

Just like everyone else I agree the gas pains are the WORST!   the incisions do not hurt really. They are a bit sore, I have 5 cuts, the one that hurts the most is where they had the liver retractor which is at the top of my abdomen in the center.  I took a picture of them I will post later. 

I never had an x-ray to see if the band was ok, which shocked me. they said since I was passing fluids so well I did not need one. I am going to ask the doc anyway just to be sure.  

All in all everything went rather well.  I am feeling much better today and have been walking a lot to get this gas out before it kills me. I have not been able to get much down so I put liquid protein in my water and have been sipping on that and apple juice. I have to stay on a clear liquid diet until this coming Thursday (so one week) then I can move onto a full liquid diet.

I will post more later, I need to walk a bit.

Hey everyone. Just a short post to let you all know I am home.  Everything went well, have not slept much in a few days and having quite a bit of pain. The doc said the shorter you are sometimes the pain can be worse since your insides are squished a little more.  I am 5'1" I am having trouble with my lungs pushing down when I breath. I have been eating gas-x strips and it has really helped. I have been walking walking walking and I am sure in a few days I will feel much better.  I had a "what have I done" moment when I woke up from the surgery just because I was in a lot of pain and I was sooooooo nausiated from the anasthesia.  They gave me a ton of meds for nausia but it didn't seem to work very well but it eventually went away. 

Funny how I thought, well I had a c-section this will be a breeze. What I didn't realize is after my c-section I was heavily drugged, with this I am not. They only have me on tylenol 3. I will posted later all the details of the surgery and respond to the tons of emails I got from everyone. I just wanted to take a quick moment and let you all know I was ok.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and well wishes, they worked!
Just warming up my seat on the losers bench!

Well it is almost 8:30pm, tomorrow I get my new begining.  I am excited, nervous and scared all rolled into one.  I am going to be shortly since I Have to get up at 4am to get there by 6am.  Next time I blog I will be a bandit!

Thank you for all the well wishes!  And keep me in your prayers.
Whoo Hoo!

Why is my life always chaotic? To give you a little back story. My brother is 39 and he is a recovering drug/alcohol addict. He has been up and down for about 13 years.  He should be the poster child for why you should not do drugs.  He had everything, a wife, family beautiful house, cars, motorcycle, his own successful business and was gorgeous to boot.  He got addicted to prescription drugs....flash forward 13 years of hell and he now lives with my parents, lost his house, wife, business. He finally just got a job at Lowes, but everything he owns fits into a corner in my parents garage. His daughter is in therapy at 10 years old over all this. It is just a mess. He is killing my parents.  Well over Thanksgiving and Christmas he started having seizures (infact he had a his worst one at my house Xmas day in front of my 3 year old).  He was finally getting clean, he was weening off the drugs under a doctors care, my mom was in control of the drugs and he was doing wonderful. He gained weight, got a decent job, bought a car things were looking up.  

Ok now last night my mom calls me (who is supposed to come to my house tonight so she can watch my son while I have surgery) and she said my brother is missing. He was supposed to have dinner with his daughter at 4pm. They talked to him at 3:45 and he was on his way but it is now 7pm and he is not there and not answering the phone. My mom thinks the worst and figures he is dead somewhere form an accident, especially since it was horrible weather last night.  She starts calling hospitals and me being the way I am I hit the internet and start checking arrest records!

Nothing, I am looking through active calls on the sheriffs website and I see a DUI call at about 4:30 my mom and I joked, wouldn't that just be the icing.

About an hour goes by I told her I would keep checking and my hubby (who is a sheriff deputy) would call work and see if he can find out.  After dinner I decided to check online one more time. Tada, there it is my brother's mugshot for DUI. What a jerk.  He was doing 95 in a 55, smelled of alcohol, could not walk straight to even do the field sobriety test and blew twice the legal limit. He was going to see his daughter like this!!!!! I am so over it. 

On the good side of things my Mom is still coming, she is done babying him I hope and they told his daughter what really happend. They always make things up and she is no dummy, she knows what is going on and I think she is tired of being lied to.

Well back on the topic, surgery is tomorrow!! Yippee I have not had time to get anything ready so tonight I will be scrambling like crazy. I still have a ton of deadlines to get to here as always and to top it all off I have a migrane (I get really really bad ones) and I cannot take anything for it except tylenol which usually doesn't touch it not to mention does not help with the extremem nausia I get.  UGH!

Pretty sad I am looking forward to a night in the hospital, I might actually get a few hours rest!

Wow this day is flying by. I am soooo busy at work trying to meet deadlines and get ahead of some other deadlines before surgery that I am going to be scrambling the next 2 days to get it all done.  YIKES!  

I was SOOOO excited to see my name on the upcoming surgery list! How freakin' cool is that?!   I did not get any sleep last night, I could not seem to shut my brain off.  I am just looking forward to getting to mushies phase, I hate this liquid crap. I am SICK OF LIQUIDS. It is day 13 and pure torture at this point, I am MS'ing (can't be PMS since I am in the middle of it right?) I am craving everything and I am ready too chew on pictures of food.

Oh well just a few more days and I will not feel like eating then it will be mushies before I know it.  I am very proud of myself for not cheating at all.
I hope everyone is having a good day, I am done whining now.

Hugs to all my friends getting surgery tomorrow and Wednesday. Save me a seat on the losers bench, I am right behind ya!

Well I am just about done with my last weekend without a band. I am starting to get excited. I have no idea how I am going to concentrate at work for 3 days!  I guess I will do my best to get as much work done so time flies.  I am sitting in my home office since my hubby and son are eating Olive Garden he brought home. It smelled way to good so I grabbed a shake and went in here and jumped on OH. According to my scale I am down 11 pounds total. I won't post officially until I get weighed in before surgery.  My period did show up on Saturday fully so hopefully it will end before surgery.   It was a hard weekend, my DH worked so I was home alone with my son and had to make him all his meals and snacks. That is always tough for me. 

Wow, 3 1/2 more days, I can't wait to share my expierence with everyone.

Well Day 10 of liquids and going strong.  I am wearing my first goal jeans!!! It is not a huge goal but I like to make little goals so hit more often. I usually wear a slightly snug 16, well I have these 16's I bought that are much smaller than my other 16's and I could get them on and buttoned but around the waist it felt horrible. When I sat down I felt like I was going to hurl.  I am happy to say I have them on today and I have a bit of room as well!

I am down another pound unofficially so that makes it 10 pounds total (unofficially).  Another strange thing is my period is trying to start. I know TMI but I am spotty so I am praying it will hurry up and get here so I can get it out of the way before surgery.

Also I was proud of myself today, for our friday breakfast at work one of the girls made homemade cranberry loaf, honey pecan squares and fresh bagles and veggie cream cheese.  I looked at it and wanted to grab one so bad but walked away and drank some water. During our meeting I made sure I sat at the opposite end of the conference table than the food. and yesterday we had cake for a birthday (ice cream cake) my weakness! I was a good girl I brought in some SF jello and got to join the celebration.

Keep on Keepin' on....