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So I have not been posting in months! Have I been a behaving bandster? Hmmm not really! well I just got a fill from a different doc in my practice and boy was it tight. However I see a little progress now. I went to the Avenue with my friend on Sat. to get jeans. I am so used to getting 22's- she says here try an 18. I laugh. But I go to the dressing room and lo and behold those bad boys fit!! I wanted to shout right there! Of course not all 18s fit- like their skinny jean cut 18s didn't fit; but their boot cut ones did and hey--it was the motivation I needed to keep moving. My boyfriend (yes I have one now:-) !) told me today when I get to a 16, he is going to buy me something really special. Now people can see the losses! I have a support group tonight and I'm going just for some encouragement.

Any other bandsters out there? I need some encouragement!

So its been awhile....Well first and foremost, my mother went to be with the Lord on 3/8/09....What a trying season it has been. And let's see what else...I have a new boo- yes not the one I spoke of in the last post (turned out to be a playa) but a NEW one who adores me and cherishes me even at 300+ pds. So my pre-op weight at the docs was 314.6 on 4/3//09.  I was told to do Optifast for a week to shrink the liver. Instead of doing the six shakes a day I did liek 2 or 3 and continued to snack and eat the wrong stufd. Well I got scared and decided that on my 2 days of clears that I had to do the 2 days b4 surgery I was going to buckle down. Well I am proud to say that I was down to 305.1!! Woo hoo...which means about 20# down since January!!
So the surgery went well and I even had  a hernia removed. I am feeling the gassy stomach tight nasty yukky band feeling today. But I am going to press on. I can't wait to go into my full liquid diet and get off clears tomorrow- cream of wheat cereal here I come!

I will chat later!!

Luv yall!

Hey OH family

It has been awhile! Well I started a consecration with my church on Ash Wed. and we are  doing the Daniel Fast- no meats, no sweets, no preservatives.  I have modified- I am having butter, preservatives, and yes..I broke my fast on Sat. But.....guess what?  I went to WW to get in one last weigh-in for the month of Feb. as part of my pre-op requirements (6 months of a diet program). Well I was last there on 2/12 in the afternoon and weighed 328! So I had been dancing (not really dancing, sort of a sloowwww two-step) in the 320s for a LONG time.  I got up yesterday morning and went to WW for an early WI amd the lady is like you are down 12.6. I am like Excuse me? I get off and get back on..she's like "Uh yea..the scale is right..Congratulations."

Yall..I was sooooooooooo siked..That is what I NEEDED!

Being off of junk food is making a difference (and I needed the consecration because as a cookie mom, these Girl Scout cookies were gonna be my huge downfall!)

And my little self-esteem is getting a pick me up. I met a little online friend (not on OH) and he's ..*ahem", let's just say he picked up my self-esteem. Compliments which remind me that Yes I am a woman, and I am worthy of attention love and desire.

I am making the effort to make myself a little cuter- clothes, hair, jewelry--you know, just paying attention to the image I am putting out there to the world and not letting the weight get me down. I know things are a-changin'

I am looking forward to the band-with expectancy and not dread. this consecration I just know ill take off the weight I wanted to remove. It's wonderful how God does things. I know that if I stay my course, I will be in the low 300s by Easter when the fast ends - that's about 15-16 pounds in the next 5-6 weeks.

April 15---game face on!

I get my Endoscopy on Wed and a snowstorm is on its way. Snow or not, I am still going to go get my procedure done! After so many appts- I mean I had 3 cardio appts- a stress test, an echocardiogram...and I am still here- still going strong!

OK so I mentioned in my intro post that I have always been anti-WLS. Now my mom and dad are not really in favor of me doing the WLS, my brother and sister also have been a little 'oh are u sure u want to do that'. Well despite that, I had been going along with the process. Now I have 2nd thoughts. I talked to the nurse at my  lapband class- and she told me to think about it because it is so life changing. She told me I had 6 months that my med clearances would still be good. But I dunno..I am thinkign. I can do this myself right? I mean, I have not really really given a diet like JC or WW a 100% try without cheating. I just have a hard time digesting(no pun intended LOL) the fact that some foods i will never eat again.

NEVER?

That's a long time...like I say to myself, you mean when i am 60 and more secure inmyself not caring what others think about me, I will still have this thing in my body and not be able to go to a buffet? and then  I also wonder will there be longtime side effects that we don't know about yet because the band has not even been out for 10 years in the US

Anyone else have cold feet?

Hey everyone

I turned 35 yesterday - that was a big deal- I mean, you are really grown up- my BFF and I went to go see Not Easily Broken (What a great movie! Morris Chestnut  is so foiine! LOL) But a NSV for me, my BFF was on a fast and had already broken it but was trying to keep her resolve and she knows about my LB plans so we said we were going to each support one another. I sat through the movie with only water-no candy no popcorn nothing! YAY me! Now I did mention it was my birthday so did I have cake that day? Yes. Did my friend and I go out to Red Robin? Yes. Did I have a Cajun turkey birger, onion rings, and a mai tai? Yes. But...I did do a trick I learned from Bob the trainer on Biggest Loser- I poured water on my food when I got near the end of it- soooo I did not eat the end of my fries or burger. We shared the onion rings and destroyed the last 4. and I didn't finish the last 1/2 or so of my mai tai. I got on one of those How much do you weigh scales that was in the movie theater lobby and I was 326.4- so considering I was 329 last Monday, at least I was moving in the right direction. Now today I know my wt is up and I did have some more cake today so it looks like I will need to be cutting back so when I weigh in tomorrow at my Gastric Lapband class, I won't have gained.

And oh..did I mention that Mom is now able to sit up (well her bed can be positioned up) and she can take food! Praise the Lord! she had her oxygen tube moved fromher mouth and she had a trach tube put in. she can move her mouth but no sound comes out. But I am thankful because 2 wks ago some docs were talking about hospice and she has a few days to live..to her nurse saying to her Come on Miss Janice we're trying to get you stronger...so she can go on a stepdown floor. He's able! He hears our prayer!

I will touch base again this week.

Some updates:

I saw the pulmonologist on Tuesday and was cleared!
My GI eval was scheduled for 3/4 which meant I had to reschedule my cardiologist. I knew I had a full wk this wk and it was rainy and I wanted a break so yours truly rescheduled her cardiologist that was supposed to be on Wed. 1/7 to March 4. Well the next day the surgeons office calls me while I am teachign 3rd pd and I stop teachign to take the call(I almost told my student to tell the caller to call back-glad I didnt ! LOL) and they tell me your GI is on 3/4 which means once again I had to move heart  doc- so heart doc is now 3/12. Scheuled Lapband is 4/13- far away enough for me to realllllly think if I want to go thru with this but close enough that I can see some results by summertime.

Talk to you soon!

LOL 
OK...Only GOD can judge me! I am getting in my last Haagen-Dazs hurrah.....People in glass houses ..well, you know the rest LOL_ I know my fellow obese folks didn't get here from overeating carrots!

Well let's see...in the past few days what has happened?
First off, my mom is doing better and I can see evidence of her gettign a little stronger day by day - I am praying that her kidneys begin to function or at least that she get strong enough to come off the breathign machines and do dialysis. She is amazing. I mean, a week ago this doctor talked hospice, it's a matter of days..and here we are and she is still alive! I believe that God is working on her. Now she is writing, she is more alert, she responds well by head gestures, nods, and hand squeezes. The tubes prevent her from speaking. I know God is in control and I am treasuring all this time He is giving me with her. I know she won't be here on Earth forever but I know He is in control and either I can worry or pray but i can't do both....

Well, tonight I went to LifeSkills Classs #1-Whew! Soooo much info. I have to keep a 3 week food diary of 1400 calories and aim for 60g of protein. The dietician talked about protein supplements and vitamins and liquids and pureed foods and this and that..and man, it was so much to digest (no pun intended). I just hope I can be honest and truthful unlike the food diaries I used to keep for WW  and other programs. Or at least with WW if I ate junk, I wrote it down but no one was going to see it. When I did LA Wt Loss, the consultant would see it and sometimes I would "forget" to write something down- but I don't know I think because this is the hospital dietician and I am in a group full of fatties like me- I don't want to be the superfatty who didn't lose weight and had a crappy food diary. 

Well I finally got the scheduler on the phone at my doc's office and I really was trying to get my GI eval scheduled but wound up requesting my surg. date of 4/13. So if all goes well, my LB will be done on Monday 4/13- the day after Easter. I sat next to a lady who visits another doc at my surgeon's office and she gets her LB done in 2 wks. She said that she didn't have a pre-op diet (maybe because she is doing her nutrition classes and they knew she would be counting calories now) and that she won't see her surgeon again till the surgery! yikes! I thought I would see my doc again beforehand-she made it sound like I would see her 2 wks prior. Anyway, I figure in Feb and March I will have to try to diet on my own because the nutr. classes will be done and I won't have the food diary obligation.  Maybe I will just keep eating healthy on my own (I will try to at least!) So here are some things I need to start doing now so I will be used to it when April gets here -(It seems far but at least I can practice eating like a gastric surgery patient)_ now I admit soem of these things are making me 2nd guess the surgery- like can I really live like this FOREVER? Who knows? Maybe I won't go through with the surgery---we'll see..but for now I have to try to do the following:

- No straws
-no fruit juice
-no alcohol
-no gum
-no sugar alcohols
-less than 6g of sugar with my foods
-Greek yogurt (has twice the protein)
-64 oz of water
- no more than 1400 cal/day

PRAY FOR A SISTA YALL

AND my bday is Saturday and I wanna eat! Yikes!

oh BTW_ i forgot to mention, this chick next to me in class..so I ask her which band was she getting. She said the LapBand not Realize. She said her neighbor's son did Realize and lost like 5# then wound up gaining. His dad did LapBand and lost 68# in 1and a half months- now granted he is a constr. worker so he gets more activity but Geesh!

What do you all think? Realize or LapBand because it's been out longer (but supposedly has more complications)

Well today I must praise God because He hears our prayer. My mom opened her eyes today and I mean really opened them wide, like definitively. ,She squeezed my hand, nodded, and made more gestures today. I definitely felt a positive shift. I know her miracle is on the way. Thanks for warm thoughts and prayers to anyone who has taken the time to read this and whisper a quick prayer for her.....


HE's ABLE!

Well folks, I had my PMRI appt yesterday with the Nurse prac. and Psychologist. I was down to 322.8 from328 on 12/5.The psych cleared me and now I have to get blood drawn, and wait for my next appts. I scheduled endocrinologist after I left PMRI - I told them the psych cleared me today so to avoid prolonging stuff I just went ahead and got an appt. and they booked  me with the nutritionist a half hour before the endocrinologist. Good thing because there were no appts avail. till 2/19. So, here are my appts:

-mandatory seminar- 11/08- DONE
consult with surgeon- 12/5- DONE
-nurse prac- 12/29 DONE
-psych- 12/29 DONE
-life skill classes- 1/5, 1/12. and 1/19
-pulmonologist- 1/6
-cardiologist- 1/7
-nutritionist- 2/19
-endocrinologist- 2/19

I hope to have surgery in mid-March or mid-April


Now, on to my mom. It is really hurtful seeing her hooked up with tubes. She was a candidate fro dialysis and then the docs determined she would be too weak to withstand it. They talked hospics but my dad and I said no, let's go with the central line/feeding tube. Ethically, I just wanted to know that as a family we did all we could do to sustain her. She opened her eyes from time to time and tried to talk. I have cried so much over the past few days and even my 7 yr old knows Im sad and has wiped my tears. She wants Grandma to come home too and tells me Mommy I prayed for Grandma today. I continue to trust God because HE has the final say. Faith must go beyond what I SEE and I have to rest assured that God is still in control.

Well. I will post later....God bless you everyone!

Yall...I had diarrhea and nausea on Christmas Day! I said Oh Lord - is this how I can lose? LOL
 For about 2-3 days I had nothing but ginger ale and saltines....well till last night when I had fajitas....yeah, really! But I was on the potty so much. I got on my scale, which is always at least 4-6# too lite and it read 316.5 so to me that made me 322, which is still down from 326.8 at my consult on 12/5.So tomorrow is my appt with PMRI with the psych and nutritionist. My only fear is that the dietician will want me to go on some 3 month or 6 month diet. I just want to get these appts over with and get a surgery date scheduled.

I am looking into my future and things look so much better!

I'm getting mine in 09! I was listening to Dr. Jamal Bryant last night- awesome sermon--and I loved his message, and I will apply it to my life: Get yours baby and do you!

My bishop prayed over and prohesied to me today for slothfulness and low self-worth to come out of me so I can be set free. I'm no longer going to block my blessing y'all!

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty (emancipation from bondage, freedom)
2 Corinthians 3:17

So I don't know what the deal is...but seems like ever since I went to the WLS seminar back in November, and seriously started thinking about surgery, I have been eating thousands of calories a day. I mean, snacks galore, take-out food on the regular, juice and sodas...and uggh, I am showing it. My eyes look bad, dark circles under them which a co-worker/soror mentioned to me (gotta love the honesty). And today, I woke up feeling super congested partly from the drop in temp., partly from my allergies acting up the night before being around my sister's dog, but then I wondered if the jerk chicken, rice and beans, and friend plantains, along with 3 McD cookies I ate last night had anything to do with it. So it's Xmas Eve, my mom is still in the hospital, and I am still fat. I am breathing heavy and my tummy is HUGE. I got my confirmation reminder call yesterday for my psych and nutritionist appt. I have to bring in a 3 day food diary and I have been scared to write down what I am eating. I truthfully don’t' want them to see the thousands of calories I have been eating because then they might recommend me to their nutritionist for 6 months and then I can't have my surgery. If a diet worked, then I would have been successful with WW and JC. I truthfully just want to be approved quickly for surgery and then maybe just go to WW for ongoing support. I need the LB tool to keep from stuffing myself. I need to literally be able not to tolerate too much food.

I have decided to start writing my food down today as I go along, and I hope that will make me eat less instead of eating all day then going back trying to remember all I've consumed. If I see it on paper as I go along, I may be less likely to snack. True, I could lie but then I am only cheating myself. I also decided today only to drink water when I am thirsty and no lemonades, teas, juices, or sodas. If I can keep that up for a week, I think a few pounds will come off.

I am hoping that my appointment on Monday with the psych, and nutritionist will be successful. I don't want them to make me go through any programs or anything that will prolonnnnnng this. I figure, I have never been this huge and this ugly in my life. I am ready to bring my sexy back!