zetanett
Am I swollen or just Fat? LOL
Dec 23, 2008
So I don't know what the deal is...but seems like ever since I went to the WLS seminar back in November, and seriously started thinking about surgery, I have been eating thousands of calories a day. I mean, snacks galore, take-out food on the regular, juice and sodas...and uggh, I am showing it. My eyes look bad, dark circles under them which a co-worker/soror mentioned to me (gotta love the honesty). And today, I woke up feeling super congested partly from the drop in temp., partly from my allergies acting up the night before being around my sister's dog, but then I wondered if the jerk chicken, rice and beans, and friend plantains, along with 3 McD cookies I ate last night had anything to do with it. So it's Xmas Eve, my mom is still in the hospital, and I am still fat. I am breathing heavy and my tummy is HUGE. I got my confirmation reminder call yesterday for my psych and nutritionist appt. I have to bring in a 3 day food diary and I have been scared to write down what I am eating. I truthfully don’t' want them to see the thousands of calories I have been eating because then they might recommend me to their nutritionist for 6 months and then I can't have my surgery. If a diet worked, then I would have been successful with WW and JC. I truthfully just want to be approved quickly for surgery and then maybe just go to WW for ongoing support. I need the LB tool to keep from stuffing myself. I need to literally be able not to tolerate too much food.
I have decided to start writing my food down today as I go along, and I hope that will make me eat less instead of eating all day then going back trying to remember all I've consumed. If I see it on paper as I go along, I may be less likely to snack. True, I could lie but then I am only cheating myself. I also decided today only to drink water when I am thirsty and no lemonades, teas, juices, or sodas. If I can keep that up for a week, I think a few pounds will come off.
I am hoping that my appointment on Monday with the psych, and nutritionist will be successful. I don't want them to make me go through any programs or anything that will prolonnnnnng this. I figure, I have never been this huge and this ugly in my life. I am ready to bring my sexy back!
