dicastro1010
Food makes me VERY happy and I have to break that cycle.I have struggled with weight my entire life. I was an obese kid, tipping the scales at 295 when I was only 12 years old. My lightest ever was 144. My median has been 170-180. My heaviest was 303- just in the last couple months.
There have been various times where I felt that I had conquered my past, only to regain the weight sometimes after one year, others, like the last time, after 6 years. Every time I got "thin" I would think to myself that I would NEVER let that happen to me again. My entire life was changed. I was athletic, loved to be healthy, thrived on athletic events like competitive runs. I ran the Carlsbad 5000, Rock & Roll half marathon, Camp Pendleton Mud Run, year after year. I even taught martial arts! Kung fu and tai chi. I would be mortified to see the people I trained with in the past. Or dated for that matter. Ha!
How did I let this happen again? I still don't have all of the answers. I know that I am food obsessed and never conquered that. I would lose the weight by excersizing excessively and eating very little. Then as soon as the weight was off I would go back to eating like a football player but keeping it off by excersizing. The problem is when a major life change happens that prevents me from being in the gym 3-4 hours a day- I gain the weight! Duhhh. It makes sense, but I keep falling into this horrible pattern. This last time it was marriage. I have been married two years. The year before the wedding I was already in the comfort zone, plus busy planning a wedding. Well in that time I gained over 100 pounds! WHOAH huh? And despite my attempts, I just keep gaining. Not to mention my joints hurt, I have no energy, and I have tried so many diets that it's almost like I don't take them seriously the second go around. I really can't pin down why. I feel bad for my poor husband that thought he was marrying a 5'10 size 4 disciplined woman. Thankfully I found a keeper and he has NEVER even mentioned it. The sad truth is that I won't do it for him- or anyone else. Just like each time before, I have to dig down and value/love myself enough to do it for ME. All of this led me to explore surgery options. Then I found that Kaiser does it. There are some flaming hoops to jump through, but they are there for a reason and it's probably a good thing. Kaiser approved me for their surgery program, which means 24 weeks of group classes (you can only miss 3 classes but need to make those up anyway, if you miss more than three you have to start all over again) , followed by meeting with Dr's, getting exams, then meeting with surgeons through the group they refer to - pacific bariatric, which at that point THAT surgeon can approve or deny or postpone it (for example if they want you to lose more weight or any weight if you hadn't up to that point). So you are looking at 8 months to 12 months from your start date with Kaiser to actual surgery. BUT I am grateful because I wouldn't have 40k to pay for this out of pocket! And I'll have plenty of time to get prepared.
This is my last ditch effort to take the surgery as an opportunity to use the tool I am given appropriately, and make life changes for good. My parents are both diabetics, and my family history is horrible. Grandparents have all passed at young ages, and it's time to break the cycle. My sibling (two sisters and one brother) are all very healthy and fit, although two of them did struggle like I did as kids. They however, lost the weight and have kept it off for years. I hope that i can follow in their footsteps and this time make it a permanent change. I need to be healthy. For me.
