littlewitch1973
Does slow and steady win the race?
Feb 20, 2012
Okay, so I have been battling the same 10 pounds for over a month now. I reached out to people on my facebook support group for help. I'm not sure what I am doing wrong here...
Here is a typical day:
Up at 5:30am
Leave house at 6:30am
Drop my daughter off at school and get to work at 7:30am
Breakfast - 8:30am, 8oz yoplait light, or wonderslim cereal or Special K high protein cereal
Work, work, work
Snack at 10:30 - protein bar or cheese (laughing cow with a few whole grain crackers)
Work work work
Lunch around 12-1pm (depending on my meeting schedule) salad with chicken and a little dressing
Work more
Gym usually from 2-3pm (Where I do 30 minutes of cardio on either the ARC or the elliptical, and 30 minutes of various strength training)
Work some more
Leave work at 4:30, pick up my daughter from school
Home around 6pm
Dinner around 6:30 - which I usually pick at, since I'm not hungry and food hurts at night
Bed around 10pm.
Between dinner and bed, I have 3 kids - there are showers, homework, snacks and dealing with my middle sons "issues" (He is disabled - Bipolar disorder and PDD, a form of Autism) of the night.
There have been a lot of stressors lately and I am wondering how much that is effecting me. My son was hospitalized for over 3 weeks due to his issues, and my mother was also hospitalized at the same time for viral meningitis. My job is normally stressful, but someone messed up big time, and I have been left to pick up the pieces (moreso than usual).
Someone on facebook told me I am not getting in enough calories (between 500-650, depending on the day) and my body is holding onto fat because of that. I am getting in all of my fluids, and exercising quite a bit. My strength training is going SO much better... I am losing inches from my body, just not weight. I know this is a stall, but it always goes thru your head that you are going to fail at this. I mean, we all failed at every other kind of diet we ever tried. I know, I know, this isnt a "diet"... this is a lifestyle change, and I have changed. I dont eat simple carbs, I dont eat sugar. I exercise all the time. I am always on the go - I have more energy... but, I am still almost 300 pounds. I want it to go away. Yes, I know, I didnt gain it overnight, and I wont lose it overnight. I guess I'm just frustrated.
So, how do I jumpstart the weight loss? I see my doctor again in a month. If nothing has changed by then, I will be saying something at that appointment. I was hoping to have lost another 20 pounds by my birthday (about 2.5 weeks away) so I couls say I had lost 100 pounds since surgery. THAT isnt going to happen. I know I need to remember to be gentle with myself, and not have super high expectations. I have to allow my body time to adjust to the changes that it has made already, and be happy that I have lost over 100 pounds so far. It's just hard when I know I have over 100 more to go. I want to see the number I have lost as a higher number than what I have to lose yet...
Will I ever reach goal?
One hundred pounds lost
Feb 18, 2012
I have lost over 100 pounds since I started my journey in March of 2011. I went to the doctor weighing 400.8lbs. I am under 300 now.
You would think I would be happy with losing over 100 pounds, but I'm not. I'm stalled, and erratic in my weightloss. My doctor says this is "normal" as my body is trying to catch up. My measurements are changing, and I am able to wear smaller clothes, but I had thought by now, I would be down about 50 more pounds... the staff at my doctor's office have said over and over again that I need to relax, and let things happen.
Here is my weightloss by month:
Month 1 - 36.4lbs
Month 2 - 9.8 lbs
Month 3 - 16 lbs
Month 4 - 12.6 lbs
Month 5 - 8.8 lbs
As you can see, I am all over the board on this!! I am thinking of going back to liquids for a few days, just to jump start my weight loss.
This last month has been filled with stress too. My son (he is 11) was hospitalized for 23 days at the local psychiatric hospital because he stabbed himself in the arms and legs with a pencil in school, and threatened to cut off my head and throw it in the river. He is stable again, and home. While he was in the hospital, my mother wound up contracting viral meningitis, and was hospitalized for a couple of days. I had to be in the ER because my step father has Alztheimers (sp?) and gets easily confused. He got lost in the hospital the first night, but fortunately, my daughter and I were there to help him get back. The next day, he came home to shower and change his clothes and got in a car accident. At this point, he really shouldnt drive anymore. That is going to be a rough day when we tell him he can no longer drive.
Since all of this happened during the last month, my weight loss stopped. I have stalled for weeks now. I am exercising still, eating mostly right (more veggies than protein it seems) and getting in all of my fluids. I know too that muscle weighs more than fat, and I have been building my strength training a lot lately. This is meant to tone my body and make me feel better. My legs are a lot stronger, and my back and abs are too... I am going to change up my workout this week, and weekend, and see if that helps! I am also going "back to basics" when it comes to protein. Protein first, then veggies, and no more carbs! I have been eating carbs sporadically, and that needs to stop. I need to focus on the right foods to eat and the right times to eat them.
Lets see what happens in the next month - I think I am going to take a week off from weighing myself, and relax a bit on the constant scale checks (I weigh myself twice a day, most days) and am putting my scale in the closet. It will be out of sight, and therefore, not tempting my every day! This should stop my obsession with my weight, and the numbers on the scale. Time to pay attention to my body.
0 comments
You would think I would be happy with losing over 100 pounds, but I'm not. I'm stalled, and erratic in my weightloss. My doctor says this is "normal" as my body is trying to catch up. My measurements are changing, and I am able to wear smaller clothes, but I had thought by now, I would be down about 50 more pounds... the staff at my doctor's office have said over and over again that I need to relax, and let things happen.
Here is my weightloss by month:
Month 1 - 36.4lbs
Month 2 - 9.8 lbs
Month 3 - 16 lbs
Month 4 - 12.6 lbs
Month 5 - 8.8 lbs
As you can see, I am all over the board on this!! I am thinking of going back to liquids for a few days, just to jump start my weight loss.
This last month has been filled with stress too. My son (he is 11) was hospitalized for 23 days at the local psychiatric hospital because he stabbed himself in the arms and legs with a pencil in school, and threatened to cut off my head and throw it in the river. He is stable again, and home. While he was in the hospital, my mother wound up contracting viral meningitis, and was hospitalized for a couple of days. I had to be in the ER because my step father has Alztheimers (sp?) and gets easily confused. He got lost in the hospital the first night, but fortunately, my daughter and I were there to help him get back. The next day, he came home to shower and change his clothes and got in a car accident. At this point, he really shouldnt drive anymore. That is going to be a rough day when we tell him he can no longer drive.
Since all of this happened during the last month, my weight loss stopped. I have stalled for weeks now. I am exercising still, eating mostly right (more veggies than protein it seems) and getting in all of my fluids. I know too that muscle weighs more than fat, and I have been building my strength training a lot lately. This is meant to tone my body and make me feel better. My legs are a lot stronger, and my back and abs are too... I am going to change up my workout this week, and weekend, and see if that helps! I am also going "back to basics" when it comes to protein. Protein first, then veggies, and no more carbs! I have been eating carbs sporadically, and that needs to stop. I need to focus on the right foods to eat and the right times to eat them.
Lets see what happens in the next month - I think I am going to take a week off from weighing myself, and relax a bit on the constant scale checks (I weigh myself twice a day, most days) and am putting my scale in the closet. It will be out of sight, and therefore, not tempting my every day! This should stop my obsession with my weight, and the numbers on the scale. Time to pay attention to my body.
Still haven't reached my goal
Feb 04, 2012
I havent reached my goal of losing 100 pounds by February 1st. There have been a lot of stressors - my 11 year old son has been in the hospital for 3 weeks now (Four Winds Hospital - a psychiatric hospital) and my mother was also recently in the hospital for Viral Meningitis. I cut myself some slack, as I knew I wasnt going to lose the weight over a week ago.
I am struggling to work out - low energy and miscle aches have made me want to curl up in a ball and sleep. I know hormones have been wreaking havoc on me lately, and that may be attributing to it as well.
I have lost about 96 pounds since I started my journey last March. I am going to reward myself with something when I reach 100 pounds... the question is what... I was thinking a Pandora bracelet, but I dont really want one. Then, I thought about the open heart necklace, but I am not sure about that either. I am going to go out and find something that I really want for that goal, and get it. It will likely be jewelery related. My reward for reaching my goal weight will be a leather jacket. That is what I really want, but dont want to spent the money on one until I reach goal.
I am not giving up. This is a stall. It will break. I will break it. Step one will be to get my ass back to the gym. Step two will be to get my fluids and protein in before anything else. I need to make sure I follow the rules, and use my tool. My tool works if I work it. I have lost 96 pounds. 76 of them since September. Back to basics!!
0 comments
I am struggling to work out - low energy and miscle aches have made me want to curl up in a ball and sleep. I know hormones have been wreaking havoc on me lately, and that may be attributing to it as well.
I have lost about 96 pounds since I started my journey last March. I am going to reward myself with something when I reach 100 pounds... the question is what... I was thinking a Pandora bracelet, but I dont really want one. Then, I thought about the open heart necklace, but I am not sure about that either. I am going to go out and find something that I really want for that goal, and get it. It will likely be jewelery related. My reward for reaching my goal weight will be a leather jacket. That is what I really want, but dont want to spent the money on one until I reach goal.
I am not giving up. This is a stall. It will break. I will break it. Step one will be to get my ass back to the gym. Step two will be to get my fluids and protein in before anything else. I need to make sure I follow the rules, and use my tool. My tool works if I work it. I have lost 96 pounds. 76 of them since September. Back to basics!!
Its been a while
Jan 21, 2012
Well, its been a while since I wrote, but what an adventure it has been lately!!!
A couple of things...
I am down 94.3 pounds since 3/21/11, and went from a size 38 to a 26 - 28... depending on the style. I love wearing smaller clothes, and my son told me this morning that the clothes I was folding were MUCH smaller than my old ones, lol...
On a sadder note, my 11 year old son has been hospitalized for the third time with BiPolar disorder problems. He has struggled for years, and recently started hurting himself and being very unco-operative. He has struggled for a couple of months, and we decided it was time for him to go back to the hospital. They are changing all of his meds around, and hopefully will keep him a couple of weeks before sending him back home. I am saddened that we had to come to this level of care again. It sucks!
As for me, I am still losing weight... some weeks, 1 pound, others, 5 pounds. It depends on my exercise, protein and how well I follow my plan. I havent been eating like I should, as I have been stressed. It used to be, when I got stressed, I ate - now, I cant eat. I get sick if I eat when I am stressed. I havent been getting my protein in like I should either. I am hoping that changes soon, and I can get it all in every day. Part of the problem is that my NUT doesnt want me to use protein shakes at all - I have to use them, or I cannot get in my protein each day. Here is a typical day for me:
B - Yoplait Light Yogurt at 8:30 (8g of protein), protein bar at 10:30 (8g of protein)
L - Chicken on a wheat wrap (about 20g of protein)
D - Meat of some sort, and veggies (15g of protein)
Total protein averages about 51g of protein... I was told a minimum of 60-75g of protein, so I have some work to do.
I am in 3X clothes, and have tons of clothes in this size, which is great! I havent worn them in years, and I LOVE wearing them again! I can almost wear size 24's, and cant wait to drop more and more sizes! My goal is to be lower than a 20 by summer! I have rented a house in Maine in July, and would love to wear a 14/16 there!! That would be awesome!! Being under 200 by then would be great too!!
Goals:
** Be under 300lbs by February 1st
** Be in a size 24 by Valentines Day
** Be under 250lbs Easter time
** Be able to wear a bathing suit to the ocean in July
I will keep you posted on how my progress towards these goals go!!
0 comments
A couple of things...
I am down 94.3 pounds since 3/21/11, and went from a size 38 to a 26 - 28... depending on the style. I love wearing smaller clothes, and my son told me this morning that the clothes I was folding were MUCH smaller than my old ones, lol...
On a sadder note, my 11 year old son has been hospitalized for the third time with BiPolar disorder problems. He has struggled for years, and recently started hurting himself and being very unco-operative. He has struggled for a couple of months, and we decided it was time for him to go back to the hospital. They are changing all of his meds around, and hopefully will keep him a couple of weeks before sending him back home. I am saddened that we had to come to this level of care again. It sucks!
As for me, I am still losing weight... some weeks, 1 pound, others, 5 pounds. It depends on my exercise, protein and how well I follow my plan. I havent been eating like I should, as I have been stressed. It used to be, when I got stressed, I ate - now, I cant eat. I get sick if I eat when I am stressed. I havent been getting my protein in like I should either. I am hoping that changes soon, and I can get it all in every day. Part of the problem is that my NUT doesnt want me to use protein shakes at all - I have to use them, or I cannot get in my protein each day. Here is a typical day for me:
B - Yoplait Light Yogurt at 8:30 (8g of protein), protein bar at 10:30 (8g of protein)
L - Chicken on a wheat wrap (about 20g of protein)
D - Meat of some sort, and veggies (15g of protein)
Total protein averages about 51g of protein... I was told a minimum of 60-75g of protein, so I have some work to do.
I am in 3X clothes, and have tons of clothes in this size, which is great! I havent worn them in years, and I LOVE wearing them again! I can almost wear size 24's, and cant wait to drop more and more sizes! My goal is to be lower than a 20 by summer! I have rented a house in Maine in July, and would love to wear a 14/16 there!! That would be awesome!! Being under 200 by then would be great too!!
Goals:
** Be under 300lbs by February 1st
** Be in a size 24 by Valentines Day
** Be under 250lbs Easter time
** Be able to wear a bathing suit to the ocean in July
I will keep you posted on how my progress towards these goals go!!
Size 28's!
Jan 02, 2012
I went in ym closet today and tried on some smaller clothes. Size 28's fit! Size 3X's fit!!
I am in heaven today... So happy. I havent been at this size in about 4 years. It feels good!
14 weeks out from surgery, and although I cant really eat much yet, I am finding things are easier, the weight is coming off, and I LOVE working out! I have gone back to the gym on a regular basis, and love doing more and more. My weight lifting is back up to what it was before surgery, and I am thrilled! I am also able to use the elliptical and arc much easier too.
Surgery was the best decision I have made in years. I feel better, and am working towards many goals... I want to take up running this year, and dont think it will be a problem now! I feel SO GOOD!!!
2012 is going to be a great year!
0 comments
I am in heaven today... So happy. I havent been at this size in about 4 years. It feels good!
14 weeks out from surgery, and although I cant really eat much yet, I am finding things are easier, the weight is coming off, and I LOVE working out! I have gone back to the gym on a regular basis, and love doing more and more. My weight lifting is back up to what it was before surgery, and I am thrilled! I am also able to use the elliptical and arc much easier too.
Surgery was the best decision I have made in years. I feel better, and am working towards many goals... I want to take up running this year, and dont think it will be a problem now! I feel SO GOOD!!!
2012 is going to be a great year!
2011 Perspective
Dec 31, 2011
As a numbers person, I really needed to put my losses into perspective for myself going into 2012.
For some reason, I dont "see" the loss - I know this is common, but it is also frustrating!!
Here are the numbers, as of today, December 31st, 2011:
Weight: started at 400.5 in March of this year, and am ending at 316.6 - total loss of 83.9 pounds!
Waist started at 57" and ended at 45.5" - total loss of 11.5"!
Neck started at 17" and ended at 14" - total loss of 3"!
Bicep started at 18.5" and ended at 145" - total loss of 4"!
Forarm started at 13.5" and ended at 11" - toal loss of 2"!
Chest started at 50" and ended at 42.5" - total loss of 7.5"!
Hips started at 72" (yes, I was wider than I was taller!!) and ended at 61.5" - total loss of 10.5"!
Thighs started at 36" and ended at 29" - total loss of 7"!
Calves started at 21.5" and ended at 20", a total loss of 1.5"!
Overall, I have lost 47.5" - almost 4 foot of fat from my body.
I went from a size 38, to a 28/30. A 5X to a 3X/4X. My shoe size has dropped about a half of a size.
Do I think I am done losing? OMG no!! I am a little over 3 months out, and will continue to lose well into 2012.
I did clean my back room for 4 hours yesterday without having to sit down at all - I worked continuously, and didnt need a break. My boyfriend Mike told me my ass is smaller, lol... this was while I was bent over picking up some things from the floor. That is probably the best compliment he could ever give me!! Lol... I laugh at it now, because he says he really sees the difference. I really dont.
I did notice today, when I put on my outfit that it looks different - the shirt fits nice, and the pants are loose (they are 32's!). I do need to buy a few new things that will last a few months so that I have some work clothes. Right now, everything looks like I'm wearing a tent! I have more clothes to get rid of, and have a friend who I can donate them to. She will be having surgery in the spring, and she has taken a bunch of clothes off of my hands! It's awesome to know I wont ever need those clothes again. I will never get "huge" again. I will be more active and interested in life - I already am! I love being able to do things I couldnt a year ago, and have major remodelling plans for my house that will keep me busy! I need to paint every room in this huge place and since its a 3 story, 4 bedroom house, its a lot of painting!! I have to remodel my kitchen, and have a lot of work done outside as well. It will be expensive, but worth it!
Okay, I have veggie bars to make for the kids New Years eve treats - they are so yummy, and healthy!! I can even eat one, lol... which is good, but I need to supplement with some protein today - I had blood work done yesterday - 12 tubes! And I know the results are going to be BAD. My protein levels arent where they need to be, and I am short on calcium. I am working on placing an order thru Bariatric Advantage as well for extra vitamins. I need them desperately!
New Years Resolutions:
Get off my ass and exercise daily - at least 30 minutes a day
Eat according to plan - I have reintroduced carbs, and need to quit that!
Do more fun stuff with my kids
Run a 5K
Help my kids eat healthier and more nutritous
Less TV, more activity.
Be kinder to myself - I am working hard and have always pushed myself to be perfect - that is not necessary. I am who I am.
0 comments
For some reason, I dont "see" the loss - I know this is common, but it is also frustrating!!
Here are the numbers, as of today, December 31st, 2011:
Weight: started at 400.5 in March of this year, and am ending at 316.6 - total loss of 83.9 pounds!
Waist started at 57" and ended at 45.5" - total loss of 11.5"!
Neck started at 17" and ended at 14" - total loss of 3"!
Bicep started at 18.5" and ended at 145" - total loss of 4"!
Forarm started at 13.5" and ended at 11" - toal loss of 2"!
Chest started at 50" and ended at 42.5" - total loss of 7.5"!
Hips started at 72" (yes, I was wider than I was taller!!) and ended at 61.5" - total loss of 10.5"!
Thighs started at 36" and ended at 29" - total loss of 7"!
Calves started at 21.5" and ended at 20", a total loss of 1.5"!
Overall, I have lost 47.5" - almost 4 foot of fat from my body.
I went from a size 38, to a 28/30. A 5X to a 3X/4X. My shoe size has dropped about a half of a size.
Do I think I am done losing? OMG no!! I am a little over 3 months out, and will continue to lose well into 2012.
I did clean my back room for 4 hours yesterday without having to sit down at all - I worked continuously, and didnt need a break. My boyfriend Mike told me my ass is smaller, lol... this was while I was bent over picking up some things from the floor. That is probably the best compliment he could ever give me!! Lol... I laugh at it now, because he says he really sees the difference. I really dont.
I did notice today, when I put on my outfit that it looks different - the shirt fits nice, and the pants are loose (they are 32's!). I do need to buy a few new things that will last a few months so that I have some work clothes. Right now, everything looks like I'm wearing a tent! I have more clothes to get rid of, and have a friend who I can donate them to. She will be having surgery in the spring, and she has taken a bunch of clothes off of my hands! It's awesome to know I wont ever need those clothes again. I will never get "huge" again. I will be more active and interested in life - I already am! I love being able to do things I couldnt a year ago, and have major remodelling plans for my house that will keep me busy! I need to paint every room in this huge place and since its a 3 story, 4 bedroom house, its a lot of painting!! I have to remodel my kitchen, and have a lot of work done outside as well. It will be expensive, but worth it!
Okay, I have veggie bars to make for the kids New Years eve treats - they are so yummy, and healthy!! I can even eat one, lol... which is good, but I need to supplement with some protein today - I had blood work done yesterday - 12 tubes! And I know the results are going to be BAD. My protein levels arent where they need to be, and I am short on calcium. I am working on placing an order thru Bariatric Advantage as well for extra vitamins. I need them desperately!
New Years Resolutions:
Get off my ass and exercise daily - at least 30 minutes a day
Eat according to plan - I have reintroduced carbs, and need to quit that!
Do more fun stuff with my kids
Run a 5K
Help my kids eat healthier and more nutritous
Less TV, more activity.
Be kinder to myself - I am working hard and have always pushed myself to be perfect - that is not necessary. I am who I am.
The morning after....
Dec 25, 2011
I am truly amazed at the Christmas love!! I have been so blessed to have the people important to me in my life.
I have received such support from my family and my close friends on the surgery and changes in my life.
Thankful for:
My kids - first and foremost, they are my world - faults and all!
My family - they are my rock. The ones i know I can lean on.
My friends - without them, I wouldnt have made this change.
My surgery team - what an amazing group of people! Supportive, tough and awesome!!
My new pouch - it has kept me in check this holiday and even made me lose weight!
My new life - able to go shopping for 3 hours, and not even flinch! Lol...
More than 80 pounds lost since March of 2011.... I am hoping to lose more in 2012.
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I have received such support from my family and my close friends on the surgery and changes in my life.
Thankful for:
My kids - first and foremost, they are my world - faults and all!
My family - they are my rock. The ones i know I can lean on.
My friends - without them, I wouldnt have made this change.
My surgery team - what an amazing group of people! Supportive, tough and awesome!!
My new pouch - it has kept me in check this holiday and even made me lose weight!
My new life - able to go shopping for 3 hours, and not even flinch! Lol...
More than 80 pounds lost since March of 2011.... I am hoping to lose more in 2012.
My first Christmas...
Dec 22, 2011
This will be my first Christmas since surgery. Christmas in my family means tons of family coming together at my mothers house, and tons of FOOD being there! Cookies, pies, cakes, cheese balls, nuts, chips, crackers, chili... everything you can imagine, it will be there. And Alcohol... oh the alcohol... my step father and aunt will be smashed, and my mother will have one drink and laugh at everything. Oh the joys of family during the holidays.
Everyone has that one member of the family that everyone cant stand. For me, thats one cousin. She never has anything nice to say about anyone, and has such low self esteem that she hits on everyone else's boyfriends and husbands. Everyone knows this, and basically just tolerates the behavior. I wonder what she will have to say this year to me?
Despite all of the disfunction, I am looking forward to spending time with the people I love. I am making veggie bars, and bringing a cheese spread and Kashi crackers that I know I can eat and enough to share as well! I am making healthy choices, and will spend mroe time with the PEOPLE than the FOOD. I will seat myself away from the table, and interact with everyone there. Food is a source of nutrition, not socialization!
I have made a lot of progress the last month. I am back at the gym - not as much as I would like to be, but enough to get my strength training back up to where I want it to be, and am working on setting up a schedule with a personal trainer here at work for February. I am going to do one session with one of them, and then maybe book a set of 10 sessions. The summer time will be much easier to do that, as I wont have to transport kids to and from school. I figure the trainer will push me more than I am pushing myself right now. I admit, I have backed off of myself, as I am worried about getting dehydrated or pulling something. I used to work out like a fiend - now, if I feel it hurting, I stop. Thats not me. I need to be pushed. So, I am going to pay someone to push me!
Food wise, I have been struggling. It seems every month, when I get my period, I cannot tolerate food. It hurts and makes me sick. Protein shakes make me gag. Protein bars seem to be okay most of the time. Yogurt is the other thing that seems to work most of the time. It sucks.
I am 3 months out and have lost a total of 81 pounds since late March. 61 of those pounds were lost since surgery. That averages about 20 pounds a month. I'll take it! I dont know of any diet in the world you can use and lose this much weight in a month, lol.
NSV's:
Went from a size 38 pants, 5X shirt to a 30 or 32 pants and 3X or 4X shirt (depending on style and brand)
Had to move my car seat up to drive.
I have had to adjust my office desk chair about 10 times, due to the changes in my body.
My feet are shrinking - my shoes are too big!
Working out is easier, as I have less weight to carry now.
No foot pain!
One "bad" NSV - running out of clothes... I have 1 pair of size 30 pants, and the 32's I have are getting baggy - and I am having to hold them up when I walk. I finally broke down and ordered 2 pairs of size 28 jeans online - hoping I will be in those in January.
Goals:
Lose a total of 100 pounds by February 1, 2012.
Wear a size 26 by my birthday in March.
Do the Adirondack Extreme in June - and be strong enough to do most of the course!
Learn to kayak
Run a 5K (I begin training for this in the spring!) in honor of a dear friend who passed away a little over a year ago. She was my motivation to have this surgery and "live" my life. (I will write that story another time.)
My goals no longer are focused around meals or food. Do I feel hunger yet? Yes. I am getting the hungry/full sensations back. The bad thing is, they are reversed from what they used to feel like! When I am hungry now, my stomach feels like it used to feel when I was full. When I am full, I have the old hunger feeling. It's an odd thing, but my brain is adjusting to the new signals, and I am being more mindful of them as well.
0 comments
Everyone has that one member of the family that everyone cant stand. For me, thats one cousin. She never has anything nice to say about anyone, and has such low self esteem that she hits on everyone else's boyfriends and husbands. Everyone knows this, and basically just tolerates the behavior. I wonder what she will have to say this year to me?
Despite all of the disfunction, I am looking forward to spending time with the people I love. I am making veggie bars, and bringing a cheese spread and Kashi crackers that I know I can eat and enough to share as well! I am making healthy choices, and will spend mroe time with the PEOPLE than the FOOD. I will seat myself away from the table, and interact with everyone there. Food is a source of nutrition, not socialization!
I have made a lot of progress the last month. I am back at the gym - not as much as I would like to be, but enough to get my strength training back up to where I want it to be, and am working on setting up a schedule with a personal trainer here at work for February. I am going to do one session with one of them, and then maybe book a set of 10 sessions. The summer time will be much easier to do that, as I wont have to transport kids to and from school. I figure the trainer will push me more than I am pushing myself right now. I admit, I have backed off of myself, as I am worried about getting dehydrated or pulling something. I used to work out like a fiend - now, if I feel it hurting, I stop. Thats not me. I need to be pushed. So, I am going to pay someone to push me!
Food wise, I have been struggling. It seems every month, when I get my period, I cannot tolerate food. It hurts and makes me sick. Protein shakes make me gag. Protein bars seem to be okay most of the time. Yogurt is the other thing that seems to work most of the time. It sucks.
I am 3 months out and have lost a total of 81 pounds since late March. 61 of those pounds were lost since surgery. That averages about 20 pounds a month. I'll take it! I dont know of any diet in the world you can use and lose this much weight in a month, lol.
NSV's:
Went from a size 38 pants, 5X shirt to a 30 or 32 pants and 3X or 4X shirt (depending on style and brand)
Had to move my car seat up to drive.
I have had to adjust my office desk chair about 10 times, due to the changes in my body.
My feet are shrinking - my shoes are too big!
Working out is easier, as I have less weight to carry now.
No foot pain!
One "bad" NSV - running out of clothes... I have 1 pair of size 30 pants, and the 32's I have are getting baggy - and I am having to hold them up when I walk. I finally broke down and ordered 2 pairs of size 28 jeans online - hoping I will be in those in January.
Goals:
Lose a total of 100 pounds by February 1, 2012.
Wear a size 26 by my birthday in March.
Do the Adirondack Extreme in June - and be strong enough to do most of the course!
Learn to kayak
Run a 5K (I begin training for this in the spring!) in honor of a dear friend who passed away a little over a year ago. She was my motivation to have this surgery and "live" my life. (I will write that story another time.)
My goals no longer are focused around meals or food. Do I feel hunger yet? Yes. I am getting the hungry/full sensations back. The bad thing is, they are reversed from what they used to feel like! When I am hungry now, my stomach feels like it used to feel when I was full. When I am full, I have the old hunger feeling. It's an odd thing, but my brain is adjusting to the new signals, and I am being more mindful of them as well.
A good week gone BAD....
Dec 07, 2011
To say this has been a bad week is being kind. Let me explain.
Last weekend, my boyfriend Mike came downstairs Saturday morning and told me to pack an overnight bag, and be dressed up and ready to leave by 6:30pm. My oldest daughter (she is 15) agreed to watch my two younger sons (11 and 8) for the night so we could get away. Let me preface this by saying - I have been having anxiety attacks for the last couple of weeks, and Mike decided I needed a "get away" to relax and be good to myself.
We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant, which was stressful for me, but I managed. We went to the hotel (about 2 hours away) and had a room that overlooked the lake - it was chilly, but nice enough for us to have coffee on the deck the next morning. No kids bickering or demanding things. No dogs whining to go out, and no cats knocking water bowls down the stairs (long story!)
We got home Sunday around 11am, and I felt so much more relaxed! It was nice. I came to work Monday morning smiling and happy. Nothing was stressing me out!!
At 3:52pm Monday afternoon Mike called me. His words were (exactly) "Josh is okay...... but..... he was in an accident. He was hit by a car". Josh is my 8 year old son - he is ADHD, and has to ride his bike to and from school (over a mile away). He was riding his bike home from school, and a car struck his back tire. He was projected off of his bike, and landed head first on the pavement. There were police, paramedics and the ambulance all there within minutes.
I live in a SMALL town (less than 1000 people in the entire town, less than that in the village I live in!) so everyone knows everyone - the NYS Trooper knows me from high school, the sheriff does as well. I am on a first name basis with all of the teachers and the principal of the school, that is how small it is. I know all of the parents and other kids. Everyone knows everyone here.
Josh is okay. He was taken to Albany Med (one of the best trauma hospitals in our area, and coincidentally the same hospital I had my surgery at!) and was treated fro facial lacerations, a broken nose, an ex-pulsed tooth (one of his adult front teeth was completely knocked out) and a fractured jaw. He is alive, he is home. I am so thankful!! It could have been SO much worse!!
Thru all of this, my eating has gotten completely sidetracked. I have focused so much of my time, energy and money on making sure Josh had his needs met (soft food diet for a few weeks, no school, no running, no bike, and limited talking!) that mine have fallen to the side. I have, however, lost over 3 pounds since the accident. I cant eat much - a protein bar here and there, and last night, a half of a piece of fish. I feel nauseous and everything makes me sick now. I have been getting in all of my water though! That is one of the most important things I can do for ME.
Now that things have calmed down a little at home (Josh ate the other half of a piece of fish last night!! YAY!, and spoke for more than 2 minutes!) I have to return to "my world" of food. I didn't turn to anything bad during this time - well, the night in the hospital, I had a few baked Lays, but there was nothing else in the vending machine that was WLS friendly, lol... but overall, I think I did really well.
Stress can inhibit your weight loss. Something many of us don't think about. I have a high stress job (I work in health insurance) and high stress kids (one is disabled, and 2 are ADHD) and an ex-husband who is psychotic (literally - he is schizophrenic/bi-polar and off his meds more than on). All of that is what contributed to my weight gain. Now, I have to manage my stress, so it doesn't inhibit my loss.
Anyone have any suggestions on de-stressing? "Me time" is almost impossible to get, given my situation, but can happen 1-2 nights a week, after all of the kids go to bed - provided I don't crash first! ANY advice is helpful and appreciated!!!
0 comments
Last weekend, my boyfriend Mike came downstairs Saturday morning and told me to pack an overnight bag, and be dressed up and ready to leave by 6:30pm. My oldest daughter (she is 15) agreed to watch my two younger sons (11 and 8) for the night so we could get away. Let me preface this by saying - I have been having anxiety attacks for the last couple of weeks, and Mike decided I needed a "get away" to relax and be good to myself.
We went out to dinner at a nice restaurant, which was stressful for me, but I managed. We went to the hotel (about 2 hours away) and had a room that overlooked the lake - it was chilly, but nice enough for us to have coffee on the deck the next morning. No kids bickering or demanding things. No dogs whining to go out, and no cats knocking water bowls down the stairs (long story!)
We got home Sunday around 11am, and I felt so much more relaxed! It was nice. I came to work Monday morning smiling and happy. Nothing was stressing me out!!
At 3:52pm Monday afternoon Mike called me. His words were (exactly) "Josh is okay...... but..... he was in an accident. He was hit by a car". Josh is my 8 year old son - he is ADHD, and has to ride his bike to and from school (over a mile away). He was riding his bike home from school, and a car struck his back tire. He was projected off of his bike, and landed head first on the pavement. There were police, paramedics and the ambulance all there within minutes.
I live in a SMALL town (less than 1000 people in the entire town, less than that in the village I live in!) so everyone knows everyone - the NYS Trooper knows me from high school, the sheriff does as well. I am on a first name basis with all of the teachers and the principal of the school, that is how small it is. I know all of the parents and other kids. Everyone knows everyone here.
Josh is okay. He was taken to Albany Med (one of the best trauma hospitals in our area, and coincidentally the same hospital I had my surgery at!) and was treated fro facial lacerations, a broken nose, an ex-pulsed tooth (one of his adult front teeth was completely knocked out) and a fractured jaw. He is alive, he is home. I am so thankful!! It could have been SO much worse!!
Thru all of this, my eating has gotten completely sidetracked. I have focused so much of my time, energy and money on making sure Josh had his needs met (soft food diet for a few weeks, no school, no running, no bike, and limited talking!) that mine have fallen to the side. I have, however, lost over 3 pounds since the accident. I cant eat much - a protein bar here and there, and last night, a half of a piece of fish. I feel nauseous and everything makes me sick now. I have been getting in all of my water though! That is one of the most important things I can do for ME.
Now that things have calmed down a little at home (Josh ate the other half of a piece of fish last night!! YAY!, and spoke for more than 2 minutes!) I have to return to "my world" of food. I didn't turn to anything bad during this time - well, the night in the hospital, I had a few baked Lays, but there was nothing else in the vending machine that was WLS friendly, lol... but overall, I think I did really well.
Stress can inhibit your weight loss. Something many of us don't think about. I have a high stress job (I work in health insurance) and high stress kids (one is disabled, and 2 are ADHD) and an ex-husband who is psychotic (literally - he is schizophrenic/bi-polar and off his meds more than on). All of that is what contributed to my weight gain. Now, I have to manage my stress, so it doesn't inhibit my loss.
Anyone have any suggestions on de-stressing? "Me time" is almost impossible to get, given my situation, but can happen 1-2 nights a week, after all of the kids go to bed - provided I don't crash first! ANY advice is helpful and appreciated!!!
Stalling
Dec 04, 2011
Stalls are a part of this process...
At least, that is what I keep telling myself.
I have lost 5 pounds in the last month.
Frustrated? Beyond anything you can imagine! I am working out a few times a week, and am going to up it to daily as of tomorrow. I am eating protein, and hate protein shakes at this point.
I do notice that on days that I get all of my protein in, I tend to lose weight. I am still struggling to do that though.
Mike took me out last night - we spent the weekend in Massachusets at a nice little hotel. He knows how stressed I have been, and sinced I have had several anxiety attacks in the last few weeks, he decided I needed to relax - no kids, no drama, no stress. We were able to relax and enjoy each other.
I am tired of not losing weight, and want it to come off faster than it is. I guess I expect things to go as fast as they did the first month - and that isnt happening. I know things take time, and I have to let them go - I think the stress is playing a big part in my non-existent weight loss.
I am working on reducing my stress, and I think the exercise will help - meditation will help too. Mike is being wonderful, and helping out so much with the kids and everything. He hates seeing the anxiety attacks that I have been having and wants to help me relax. He is taking charge of disciplining the kids - to help alleviate the stress.
I will update again next week.
2 comments
At least, that is what I keep telling myself.
I have lost 5 pounds in the last month.
Frustrated? Beyond anything you can imagine! I am working out a few times a week, and am going to up it to daily as of tomorrow. I am eating protein, and hate protein shakes at this point.
I do notice that on days that I get all of my protein in, I tend to lose weight. I am still struggling to do that though.
Mike took me out last night - we spent the weekend in Massachusets at a nice little hotel. He knows how stressed I have been, and sinced I have had several anxiety attacks in the last few weeks, he decided I needed to relax - no kids, no drama, no stress. We were able to relax and enjoy each other.
I am tired of not losing weight, and want it to come off faster than it is. I guess I expect things to go as fast as they did the first month - and that isnt happening. I know things take time, and I have to let them go - I think the stress is playing a big part in my non-existent weight loss.
I am working on reducing my stress, and I think the exercise will help - meditation will help too. Mike is being wonderful, and helping out so much with the kids and everything. He hates seeing the anxiety attacks that I have been having and wants to help me relax. He is taking charge of disciplining the kids - to help alleviate the stress.
I will update again next week.
About Me
NY
Location
37.2
BMI
Surgery
09/21/2011
Surgery Date
May 09, 2011
Member Since
