littlewitch1973

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

Well, I go to see Jean tomorrow... she said last time that when I went in this time, I would get my surgery date this week... she said it will be 6 weeks out, so I am looking at early August. Crossing my fingers that I come on here tomorrow with GREAT NEWS!!! Lol...

   Well, I have done everything I needed to do - psych eval, letter from the PCP, sleep study, etc...no date yet. I did meet with the PA, Jean, and she said on my next appointment, I will have a date - the next appointment is June 22nd. It seems like forever away.
   I ran out of protein shake mix yesterday - well, the kind I will drink! I ordered more, and it should be here Monday. For today, I mixed a scoop of vanilla Unjury powder in with my Chobani raspberry yogurt - the consistence is too much for me, so I cant eat it. Besides, I realized it would be 34 grams of protein! Thats a LOT!!! I am supposed to be getting 25 grams per meal. One Unjury Shake (the way I make them) is 30 grams of protein. I have been having those for Breakfast and lunch every day for weeks now. I have forgotten how to eat!! I do have some Boost shaeks in the fridge that will have to work until I get my mix. I'm not happy about it, but am making it work. I might drop a scoop of Unjury in one of those and see how it works!! 

   I have been constipated lately too - Jean says thats because I am having a lot of protein, and need to increase my water intake. I drink about 80 oz of water a day - most days. Lately, I cant drink that much....I feel too "full" to drink. I will be decreasing my protein down to 15 to 20 grams for a week and see how that works.
   I am doing much better on recognizing hunger. Now, if I'm not hungry, I dont eat. When its time for dinner, I am taking smaller bites, chewing like crazy, and swallowing. I wait to feel the food go down, and see if I am still hungry before I take another bite. I know I need to be careful when eating after the surgery. I am also concerned because I think I am going to be afraid to eat. I kind of am now. I'm nervous about food. If we have something that I know I cannot eat, I walk away, leave the room and make myself busy. It''s working, and I'm not indulging nearly as much as I used to. Do I slip up? Yes, of course I do, but I dont punish myself about it, I recognize the mistake and move on from there.

   I need to find time to exercise. I'm doing the stretching the doctor gave me, and a little walking - not much, as the heel spurs are killing me when I walk too much. The doctor thinks once I lose weight, it will be easier on me to walk, as I wont have as much weight to carry. I hope so, because I loved to hike!! I also like to climb, and would love to try a marathon! I have access to a gym at work, and need to start going to it. I am planning on using it daily once I have the surgery - not sure what I am waiting for, but just am not sure. I am trying to convince myself to go there every day now - and always find an excuse. Here is my resolution. I will go to the gym once I have my surgery date - and go at least 3 times a week. Between now and then, I will increase my stretching to 3 times a day, (from twice a day) and get my butt up and moving more during the day. This weight isnt going to melt away without help!! 

   On a personal note, I had it out with my ex husband last night. It felt good to tell him that he is a jerk, and let him know that he is affecting our kids in a negative way. He thinks he is all that, but he is delusional. Well, he is crazy, so its not a far stretch! He is supposed to take one of our boys over the summer for a few weeks (the disabled one) while I have my surgery - we will see what happens. My daughter and boyfriend are going to take care of the little one (he's 7) while I am in... the kids havent been told yet, and wont be until just before I have the surgery. My littlest one worries something fierce!! He will be all worried and crying. I know him. The longer I wait, the better!  My daughter will be able to handle it - she is already aware that I have to have surgery, but doesnt know for what yet.

   Okay, back to homework. Almost done - one summer semester to go and I will be a graduate!! YAY!! 

Well, tomorrow is my psych eval, and Thursday, I go to the last support group meeting that is required. :) I have my next follow up apointment on June 6th, and if I have lost enough weight, I will be good to go!! I will have my appointment set up with the surgeon and be scheduled for surgery.

I only weigh myself at the doctor's office. I dont have a scale (I dont know if they make one for the home that goes that high!) and from what I have read, not being obsessed with your weight and how much you have lost daily is a good thing. I am drinking protein shakes for breakfast and lunch, and have found I really love Unjury chocolate shakes!! I need to order a couple more this week, and have them here for when I run out. Since this is all I have for breakfast and lunch every day, I eat dinner at night with my family, but have learned that when I am full, I stop eating. Last nights dinner was a pork rib, cesear salad, and a small cup of fruit salad. I did take the kids to the drive in last night. I had one chocolate bar - and that made me feel icky. I only drank water, and skipped all of the other snaks the kids had. I felt good when I got home.

Today, I am taking the kids shopping, and then to visit my parents. I am preparing myself for tomorrow's psych eval, and am hopeful things will be moving forward quickly. June 6th will be the deciding factor!! Cross your fingers for me!

Well, I have an appointment for the psych consult on the 31st of May... I have the PCP referral, and am going to the support group on June 2nd. This completes what I need to do - now, its up to the surgeon. Hopefully, I have lost enough weight to get the surgery.. they told me I had to lose at least 5% of my body weight... I have lost about 2%.

I hope things go well on my visit to the doctor on June 6th!! Fingers are crossed!!

Well, I saw the nurse practitioner last week - she is in agreement with all of the other doctors I have seen that I am good to go, and will have the surgery as soon as possible. I am in need of:

1 more support group (although, they are counting these groups here!)
Psych eval
Results of sleep apnea test

Once I have all of those steps completed, I should be talking to the surgeon and scheduling surgery. I will be callig on the psych eval Monday and seeing who can set that up for me. I am cross referencing the doctors they have suggested, with the ones that participate with my insurance company.

 My next appointment is on June 6th, early in the morning. I hope to have all of these things completed by then.

I have to say, my boyfriend has been amazingly supportive - my ex husband was a jerk about me even talking about having surgery 5 years ago - my boyfriend wants me to be happy and healthy. It is an amazing difference in life! A supportive partner!! 

Anyhow, I work for the insurance company, the the surgery will get an automatic approval if the BMI is over 40 - which mine is, so I know they will approve it. Just waiting to get the surgery done is tough - I am anxious now to have it done, and want to lose more weight.

I went to my PCP last week, and she diagnosed me with heel spurs and plantar facietous (sp) in both of my heels - because of this, I cannot walk. I was up to walking about a mile and a half a day - now, I am restricted to no more than a quarter mile a day. It is hard. The NP reccommended a recumbant bike at work - we have an on site gym. I am going to start going to the gym every day on Monday - they want me to lose a total of 20 pounds - bringing my weight down to 380 beofre surgery. I am drinking protein shakes for breakfast and lunch in order to compensate for the lack of exercise. Going to the gym every day I am at work should help me lose those pounds quicker. I will try the eliptical if I have to - and pray it doesnt cause me a lot of pain!!

Anyhow, that is where I am in my journey - patiently waiting... working on creating good habits and feeling better now that I have support in my life!!

     Well, I have been going to the Albany Medical BAriatric Unit for a few weeks now. They have a lot of things needed in order to have you approved for surgery - they are pretty rigid, and I definitely could have chosen a place that wasnt as rigid, but I decided to find a place that was all about the success AFTER the surgery. So far I have lost about 4 pounds, which is not a lot, given the fact I need to lose at least 20 in order to have the surgery. Here are the requirements, and where I stand with them:

Have at least 6 appointments with the practice during a 6 week time period. I am at my 5th appointment.
Attend 2 classes - done in March
Attend 2 support group sessions - I have attended one, and will be attending another on in a couple of weeks... I am also using this online forum as a base for support groups.
Have a sleep study done - completed on Monday of this past week.
See a Pulmonologist for a Pulmonary Function Test - done, and passed
Have PCP send letter of approval that they will follow you after surgery, and also that you are a good candidate - seeing her on Tuesday.
Set up Psych consult - trying to find someone to do this- it is not easy!!
Lose 5% of body weight - I am at 1%, and will be using protein shakes for breakfast and lunch starting on Monday, in order to lose weight faster.
Start an exercise program - I have begun walking about a half mile to a mile a day - Since beginning that routine, I have found that I am not able to walk in the mornings when I first get up due to pain in my heels. The pain is so intense, I literally cannot walk on my feet, and have had to crawl at least twice to the bathroom and get ready for work. I am seeing the PCP on Tuesday to see if she can determine what is causing this pain. I am also doing some light upper body strengthening exercises. Since there is a gym at my job, there is really no excuse for me not to be there every day I am in the office, but I find myself avoiding it. I like to exercise alone and not around a bunch of people who look at me like I'm nuts.
See Cardiologist for a clearance
See surgeon, and set up a surgery date.

As you can see, I am very close to having the surgery, and it is all progressing quickly. I am nervous, and excited at the same time. I'm not sure what to expect, and am hopeful that my health improves from this surgery.

My motivation for doing this surgery is because I cannot do the things with my kids that I want to do. I want to play tennis with them, go hiking, teach them healthy habits and have fun with them. I cant even go on vacation right now, because of my size. I cant do a lot of the things "normal" people do, and its frustrating. I have never been this heavy, and it has begun to affect my kids and their lives too. I want to live a normal life and actually LIVE - not just exist.

Last December, I lost a very good friend of mine. She died in a terrible car accident. She was like me; a single mom of 3 kids, she worked went to college, and spent all of her free time LIVING life. She hiked, ran, volunteered, and had dozens of friends. She was an amazing person. Her death took me by surprise, as she was so vivacious and care free. She was always out running and doing things. She lived every moment of her life - I have not done that - I exist. I have not lived my life the way I want. This is the time to change. I am the only one who can make the change. It is up to me.