littlewitch1973

Send Message

Block

Add Friend

I am FINALLY to the point that I have lost more than half of what I wanted to lose! I have less to lose than I have lost! YAY!!! 

Yes, I have 110lbs to lose yet, but I am confident it will happen.

I have started Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. I convinced my daughter to do it with me, lol.. she woke up this morningand was SORE. I am not. I feel good. The only pain I have is in my foot, where my daughter dropped a 3lb weight on my foot.

I have been working out daily, and building more and more muscle. I knew it would slow down my weightloss at first, but I am glad I did it. I am stronger than ever and have more mobility than I have in years. I can bend down to tie my shoes, put on socks while standing up. I have had to move the seat in my car up so far that my boyfriend has to put it back to drive! He used to be the one moving it up!!

My head hasnt caught up with my body yet, but I am wearing a size 22 in jeans and pants, and shirts are still a 2X, but they look better. Size 3X is too big on me now, and I am hoping to start dropping weight quickly again. I need to start running, but still am not doing it - well, I am sporadically, but not as often as I would like.

College  starts up again tomorrow, and I am in the middle of my Six Sigma Green Belt course - so, I will be busy all the time now. Being stuck on the computer is going to suck, but it will all be worth it. Fortunately, I can do some of the reading while I work out at the gym. 

If I ever had any advice for someone trying to lose weight it is this - focus on strength training for a while - it might take a few months to lose weight, but once you do, it falls off!! I love being stronger and able to do more. I went to our Community Service Day at work yesterday, and was able to move heavy things, and life things up and around. It was terrific!! I felt good and I know I look good now! I am feeling so much stronger and better, and didnt get tired at all!! 

Ok, laundry is done - time to go start another load, and get busy on my homework!!

Well, its been an interesting Easter! 

Home renovation part 1 is done. Noah's room is finished, and he will move in tomorrow afternoon. He is so excited!! Now, I have to paint Josh's room, paint Courtney's room, rip up her rug, put down new floors, put a new roof on the house, and fix the siding. UGH! It never ends!! 

I went out yesterday and spent a couple hundred dollars on new sneakers. I bought 2 pairs of Nike - Nike Air, and Nike Dual Fusion - both are very good running sneakers. Its time to get out fo the slump I'm in and change up my exercise regimine. I need to make the changes tio jump start my weight loss. I have been losing the same 5 pounds for over a week now. I need to get it in gear and move. I have all of these plans to get moving, and then, I do them, and stop. I always seem to figure that the weight will lose itself, but it doesnt!! 

I have lost  pounds to date. That is how much a super model weighs. I lost a super model I still have another one to lose!! I am frustrated, but also realize I am retaining due to just getting my period (which is why I refused to weigh and measure myself this week!)  My food choices have changed, and I am eating better - more protein, less carbs; and have been exercising, but not to the extent I should be with the cardio. The strength training has been AWESOME!!! My muscles hurt, I can feel the difference in my strength already. I know I am gaining muscle, so that is good. 

I start college classes for my Masters in a couple of weeks. I have also started taking my Six Sigma Green Belt classes - and take those classes to get my Master Black Belt until November. I am going to have a busy couple of months!! The Six Sigma courses have about 4 hours of lectures a week and a quiz. My Masters classes will involve paper writing and tests. It will be tough, but worth it in the end!!

I saw my ex-sister in law yesterday for the first time in years. She told me I lookde great, and that my entire face changed! I know I look SO different, and I feel great!! I have the Autism Walk/Run coming up on the 22nd of this month, and I am looking forward to going and seeing how far I can run!!

I am short on protein tonight - I can feel it... especially since I know what good protein feels like... but I didnt eat much today - I never do when I have my period.. not sure if that is common or not. 

Okay, boys are bickering... cant wait for them each to have their own rooms!! Gotta go get them settled for bed. 

I am obsessed with the scale.

I weigh myself EVERY DAY, and get upset if I gain a few ounces. UGH!! 

I am frustrated with the numbers not going down fast enough. I need to put the scale away, and just live. Be blessed with all that I have accomplished and push myself to go further.

I also need to be accountable here.

I have started eating carbs. This slows weight loss and I know this, but continue to eat them.

I am not going to the gym as religiously as I should be. This is not acceptable.

On my weekends, I have not been working out like I am supposed to - granted, I have a contractor at my house all weekend long, and working out in the livingroom just doesnt appeal to me when someone is watching me. He is there from 9am - 6 or 7pm on weekends.

Yes, I am proud of the fact I have gone from a size 38 to a 24. Yes, I am thrilled that I have lost a totla of 115.6 pounds in the last year (that is a teenage girl!). Yes, my body has changed, and I have grown more confident.

BUT

I WANT MORE.

I want to lost ANOTHER 115.6 pounds (which would put me 5 pounds from goal) and need to start focusing on doing it.

Starting tomorrow (because I already have my lunch packed for today) I am cutting out ALL CARBS. Back to basics... back to protein shakes, straight up meats, veggies and an occassional protein bar. Back to working out (which I WILL start today!) and back to running. I have no excuse not to do these things.

I have a goal.

I will achieve it.

Its up to ME to do it.

I CAN do hard things!!

Today is a down in the dumps kind of day..... Not sure why.

I am still not losing weight... I'm still pretty much stalled (I think). I pulled my shoulder out last week, and havent been able to strength train, which is really bumming me out. I LIKE toning and strengthening my body...not being able to do it makes me sad. My shoulder is healing, but it is still tender, and Brittney said to give it another week to rest before we start up again, so I am on "light duty". 

On a good note, I ordered a size 2X sweatpants (they are in the washer now) and a size 1X shirt that came in the mail today. I am wearing the shirt now. OMG.... What a feeling!! I am wearing a size 1X shirt!! AMAZING!!! I am SO happy about that!!

I am also wearing size 24 pants, and hope to be in a 22 by the end of April. I think its time to do Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. Its time to get my cardio going again - maybe that will help me feel better. 

There is so much construction going on at my house - I had an addition built for my son Noah - he is Autistic (and BiPolar) and really needs his own space, so instead of my kitchen getting done this year, I decided to get this done, and give everyone some peace. It is sad, because my kitchen is literally falling apart - some of my cabinets dont even have doors on them. There is a gaping hole in my ceiling from where the bathroom leaked into the kitchen. It sucks. To top it all off, I need a new roof on the front of my house. It needs to be done, there is no way around it, and its stressing me out. 

I messed up on my food today. No protein at all today. UGH!!! WTF am I thinking??? Tonights dinner will be protein, protein, protein. I have GOT to get it in, or my weightloss will NEVER pick up. 

Okay... I have got to go and get some more laundry done. I'm just so down today, all I want to do is sleep.... but, I cant. 

I decided to start getting ready to run. Today, I walked / ran to the store about a third of a mile away. I learned some things today:

I NEED a bra that fits, and supports - no one needs to see my girls bouncing like that - besides it hurts!!
I can actually run, and it feels good. Okay, well maybe not RUN, but I CAN JOG!!! 

It felt good to be out there and jogging.. I wasnt tired and it didnt hurt. I was able to do it, and liked it. I have GOT to get a new bra ASAP. One that I can run in, lol...

Going to place that order now!!

Oh - no weight loss to report... still stalled, but had labs done and waiting on the results... hoping they are good!!! 

Being stuck... stalling... all of it sucks!!!

I have gained a couple of pounds, but have lost inches. I have gone down a clothing size though!! I tried on size 24's today and they fit great. I have been wearing size 26's because they are comfortable, so I am now getting rid of them. Its time for me to wear clothes that FIT, and convince my body to move it in regards to the weight loss!!

Mike and I sat outside yesterday for a while, and he said the difference in me is amazing - he can see so much difference, and even if I can't, he is amazed... I have to say, I see a lot of NSV's lately, and also know that I am losing, just not at the pace I wanted to. It will happen... I just have to be patient. Patience is not something I am good at!! 

Time to go make my batch of chili for the week... that is my lunch almost every day... it is high in protein and is good for my pouch!  

Today, I have been reflecting on my journey. I realize that I have come a long way, and although I still have a long ways to go, I am more equipped to handle the journey now.

For some reason, I have felt as though I am "stuck" at the same weight since Christmas. I looked back today at my charts here, and realized I have lost 28.8 pounds since Christmas!! That's not bad! A year ago, I would have been THRILLED with a 30 pound weight loss in under 3 months. Now, I am resentful it isn't more. Why? Did I really think this surgery was going to be a "Fix All" for my problem? Did I think I wasn't going to have to WORK for each pound?

I have decided its time to change up my workout. I know I have said it before, but I am actually doing it now! I signed up (and paid for) a Running Camp, and also for Piloxing. Two classes that will help jump start my loss! I have 2 Jillian Michael's DVDs at home, and my daughter and I will be starting on those this weekend. I am bound and determined to get in better shape ASAP. I have a vacation planned for Maine this summer, and will be spending a lot of time on the beach. I do not want to be there at 300 pounds! I NEED to work it off!!

I have lost over 100 pounds in the last year. I took a step that changed my life forever. I am glad I did, and have no regrets. I have changed the way I eat, my thoughts on food, and am working on coping with stress in better ways. My kids are more aware of nutrition and exercise and are getting healthier and healthier every day. I am able to do more at home and don't struggle to do simple things anymore. Life is getting better - it is up to me to make it even better than ever!!!

Okay, so it has been a month, and I havent lost an ounce. Not one pound. Zilch. Zip. Nada.

I am frustrated, yes.

THEN.... I looked at the inches lost. See, every month, I record my inches on a spreadsheet, and look at the difference a month makes. In the last 4 weeks, I ahve lost a total of 11 inches. Yes, ELEVEN INCHES!!!! 

Okay, so I'm not losing pounds, but I AM losing inches... that must mean something, right?

I hope so - I do not want to be "stuck" at almost 300lbs forever!! I had hoped to have lost another 50lbs by now, and that obviously isnt happening.

I am going to try a few things, outside of my comfort zone in the next few weeks.

First, I am going back to protein shakes. My nut is a nut (a little crazy - and everyone tells me so!) and doesnt believe in their use after your first 3 months. Too bad. I'm going back to one a day. Not only to boost my protein, but to add a little fire in my day!

Second, I am paying the gym $35 for a class called Running Camp. I am going to learn to run, dammit! I have been wanting to learn for a while now, and need some strength conditioning, but feel I have lost enough weight that it wont completely kill me!! 

Third, I am going to go to another class that is only once a month, called "Piloxing" - it is a combo of Pilates and kick boxing. This class I am looking forward to!! It sounds like a blast!!

Fourth - no more sitting on my a$$ on the weekends!! This past weekend, I painted my bedroom, went to Lowe's a dozen times, and moved some furniture. I need to get moving, and get physical more often.

Fifth - I am going to have to start meditating again. I need a way to deal with the stress in my life, and mediation worked really well for a long time. I havent been meditating enough, and need to incorporate that into my life everyday again.

Sixth - I am going to be happy with what I have accomplished. That right there is key to me. I HAVE to be happy with what I have done so far, and realize the rest will be a struggle, but one I can make happen. It is just going to take a lot of work!!

Finally, no more excuses. Everyone has days they dont want to work out. If we listened to our inner selves on those days, we would never go. I am going to schedule time for ME everyday. Time for me to work out, time for me to be me. Time for me to listen to my body and its needs.

Wish me luck!!

Normally, I write my blog every Sunday, along with doing my measurements, and weighing in, it has become my ritual of sorts. It is where I hold myself accountable for my actions the previous week.

This past Sunday, I did not post.

This is because, quite honestly, I have found myself slipping back into old habits. Not exercising, not working my tool, not eating my proteins first, not getting all of my water, not taking my vitamins like I should.

So, it is time for me to be accountable for my last couple of weeks. Here are my "strays" and how I intend to fix them:

No gym / exercise in over 10 days. Starting today, I am back at the gym - even if just for 20 minutes of strength training. I find my body feels better when I exercise. I want to run a marathon this summer, and do the warrior dash as well - it isnt going to happen if my fat ass sits on the couch all the time!!

Not getting my protein in first. This is a big one for me. I fight on eating the protein first, because it is more dense, and fills my pouch faster, making me less able to eat the foods I "like". No more. Time for me to get on the protein bandwagon!! I have started recording my foods again daily on myfitnesspal.com (I am littlewitch1973 if you want to hold me accountbale on there!). I am being brutally honest with what I am putting in my body. Its too bad that app doesnt have a "poop counter" that would track if you have gone to the bathroom that day!! That is an issue as well, but I digress....

Not taking my vitamins. This is a really hard one for me. I have been really bad since the beginning about taking pills. I do manage to get in my multi, Biotin, and Prilosec daily. The rest of them... eh, not so much. Usually once a week, those make it into my system, and that is after a lot of guilt on myself, and I realize I am worn down from not taking them. I NEED to make sure I get them in!! They make me feel better!!! Suggestions on how to get those in??? I could really use some help there!!

Water - ah yes, water. I love water. Before surgery, I would drink 150 oz of water a day, and not be affected. Of course, I could also eat a huge amount of food, and had very little control over my head hunger. Now that I have a limited amount of space, I find it hard to get it all in. I wound up with a UTI a few weeks ago, and that really hit home. I realized I needed to get my water in, any way I could. I have been doing a LOT better at getting it all in, and plan on keeping it that way!!

When I started this journey in March of 2011, I weighed in at the doctor's office at 400.8 pounds. When I weighed myself on Sunday, I was 289.8. This is a difference of 111 pounds. My six month surgiversary is coming up on the 21st of this month. I have a goal to be down 120 pounds by then. If I can get myself back on track with my food and exercise, I have no doubt I can do it!! I am going to push myself every day to get in some form of exercise, work the protein and not settle or empty calories.

I want to be thin... I want to be healthy.... I want to be happy when I look in the mirror. Only I can make that happen.

Well, another week with no poundage lost. Seems to be a growing trend. I guess I cant complain - I went almost 5 months without a stall lasting longer than 3 weeks.

I did my measurements today (I didnt really need to, I know I lost a lot of them!) I lost almost 2 inches ion my hips. I knew this even before I measured, because I was able to get into a size smaller than I was in last week. Last week, I could get the size 24 pants on, but not zipped. Now, I can wear them without a problem. The pounds might not be dropping, but the inches certainly are!! For now, I will take it!! 

I start my new exercise routine today. Jillian Michaels, here I come!! It should be interesting, and looks like fun. I am hoping it will be something I can do without a problem. This is of course, after my hour of Zumba wiht my daughter this afternoon!! She and I play Zumba on the wii, and its a blast! My youngest son laughs and tries to do it too - he is a string bean (8 years old, 65 pounds, tiny little thing!) and laughs at the way his mii character moves... lol... 

The weather is starting to get nicer here... the sun is shining, and although we are going thru a cold snap, it should warm up in the next couple of weeks, leaving me no excuse to start the C25K program!! I am determined to get my ass in gear... there is a Warrior Dash in Hunter in August that I would LOVE to do! Its a 5k race / obstacle course, and it looks like such a blast... a few people from my support group are going, and I would love to do it. I also want to kayak and do Adirondack Extreme this year - or the zip line in Hunter... I love stuff like that, and think that it would be fun to get my kids involved in things like this - rather than spending their weekends sitting on the couch!!

We have plans on going to Maine this summer... I am researching a nature preserve to hike while we are there... I know it will be a blast. We are also going to rent Bikes while we are there and bicycle around Wells. It will be fun and the kids love to bike!! Well, except my daughter - she isnt coordinated anough to ride a bike, lol... 

I think this vacation will be fun - the first time I am going to the beach in YEARS. Probably the first time I will go without fear of people staring. I am still overweight, but not the 400 pounds I once was!! I am more fit than I have been in years and know that will help too!! 

Time to focus on housecleaning.. the damn cleaning fairies still havent come back to work (I think they are on strike!) so I better get to it!! Time to plug in my MP3, and clean away!! Happy Sunday!!!