Willowbeez
My Fears - 3 More Days to GO!!
Apr 20, 2013
No one goes into any WLS without fear. Of course there is the fear of dying, or being disabled or sick for the rest of your life. Those are given fears - meaning no matter what your background, experience or the reasons for driving you to WLS, those fears will exist in all of us. But I have other fears. Fears that may not seem rational or make any sense but they are real to me. Here are my fears (aside from all the cheery ones already listed):
1. Hair-loss. The thought of trading one insecurity for another isn't that appealing. And I mean really? Your hair??? Don't F%^& with a girl's hair. I know this is temporary but it frightens me beyond belief.
2. Pooping. Or the lack of the ability to poop. I hate not being able to poop (as I'm sure most people do). It hurts my belly, makes me cranky and some even say it makes your breath bad (science has yet to rule that out!) 
3. Loose Skin. My boobs are already saggy (I liken them to slinkies walking down the stairs ahead of me), my thigh skin already looks like the folds of an accordion. Imagining more folds and crevices than the Grand Canyon doesn't make me want to run around in a bikini any time soon.
4. Never eating a normal meal again. I mean if we're at the point of WLS obviously something went awry with our eating (quality or quantity) but no one goes into WLS hoping to be skinny and abnormal for the rest of their life (although it would be a fair trade off). Never being able to eat more than a bite of food at one time is a bit concerning.
5. Can you handle the new me? I've often wondered how people will react to the "new" me. (I will refrain from adding improved behind that "new" because that theory still needs to be tested). I'm not sure how I will react to the new me.
6. Peeing. I know I can't seem to get away from this end of the spectrum (or body). I tried drinking 64 oz of water/day for the past 2 weeks. All I can say is that I peed all day and I peed all night. How am I ever to get any sleep in if all I ever do is pee! I can't pee like that at work - I have meetings and schedules to follow.
7. Eating enough protein. See note 6 about peeing. Same concept - how am I going to eat all day long in the hopes of meeting my protein requirements? Again my schedule doesn't allow for me to be munching down on meat and eggs during work. I can only imagine what my co-workers would think.
These are some of my fears. I know some of these items will resolve themselves with time but my last and final fear is... How will I manage each of them until they've been resolved? 
Three more days until surgery. I'm excited and hopeful. I may have fears but for the first time in a long time, I am hopeful.
