weight loss want and willing

Weight Loss: Want and Willing

January 19, 2022
  • Are you someone who wants to get healthier and lose weight?
  • Do you want to feel better? 
  • Do you want to have more energy? 
  • Do you want to be healthier?
  • Do you want to wear a smaller size? 
  • Do you want to lose regained weight?  
  • Do you want to exercise more? 

If so you are not alone. We all want this. In fact, current research shows that over half of Americans report they are trying to lose weight and become healthier.

As a weight loss counselor and coach for the last 18 years, I have had the privilege of hearing my clients’ “wants“ both in individual and group sessions. Your “wants“ are often the key WHY to start and sustain your motivation. 

Moving From Weight Loss Want to Willing

Many times your “wants” are not enough to change your behavior to help you reach your goals. You are missing an integral step: a step I call moving from your want to willing. 

“I want to lose weight” is simply not enough to accomplish this goal. 

In my practice, I have learned so much from the countless clients I have served. I would hear over and over again people sharing what they want to do when it comes to weight loss but it never comes to fruition. I am passionate about having my clients discover and tackle the obstacles that are getting in the way of their weight loss success. 

Weight Loss Want and Willing

It was in a group session many years ago when a client shared with the group, “You know we sit here every week and talk about what we WANT to do but we are never achieving it, maybe we are asking the wrong question. Maybe instead of stopping at WANT, we all must ask ourselves, "What are we WILLING to do to make weight loss happen?"

OOOH!!!  There is a powerful insight and if we are honest an uncomfortable question. It's so easy to say what we want when it comes to weight loss and health. In fact, wants sound very much like New Year's resolutions. Could it be that is why only 2% of New Year's resolutions stick? 

Are we all asking the wrong question? I think we are. To obtain weight loss success, you need to slow down and examine what you need to be WILLING to do to achieve your goals. As an expert in the field, I recommend that you need to be willing to utilize medical, nutritional, exercise, and headwork tools to obtain weight loss success. Let's jump in!

How to be Willing to Lose Weight and Regained Weight


Medical tools. Obesity is a disease, not a decision. 

If you are looking to lose weight or lose regained weight, start with a physician who specializes in weight loss. This may be your primary care physician but often it is finding a doctor who specializes in obesity medicine. These specialists are experts on what are the best medical tools out there to help you lose weight such as anti-obesity medications (AOM’S) and/or a medically supervised weight loss program.

You may also want to learn more about bariatric surgery. For too long, people and healthcare providers have attributed weight regain to a “character issue” or  “ lack of self-discipline”.  This is not the case!

Just as you would seek out a medical team to help you treat an autoimmune disease of heart disease, I urge you today to be willing to find a treatment team to help your treat your disease of obesity. 


You need to be willing to make changes in your nutrition. 

Losing weight means being willing to keep a food journal, understand your macro requirements, buying healthier food, and putting energy towards meal planning and preparation. 

Losing weight often means having to decrease “ spontaneous eating” and also restaurant eating. It requires learning to eat more mindfully and understanding fullness and satiety.  Losing weight is so much more than calories in/calories out. Although I am not a registered dietician, I strongly recommend that you seek one out to help you create and implement a weight loss plan that fits your individualized needs.


You need to be willing to add more exercise and movement into your life.

It's one thing to say  “Yes, I know, I need to start exercising” it is entirely different to actually do it.  Let's take this a step further. What do you need to be willing to do to make that happen in your life?  

To start,  I encourage you to be willing to start calling it movement instead of exercise.  Just the word "exercise" can zap your motivation. Are you willing to move each day? Are you willing to schedule it into your day? Are you willing to keep track of your movement each day? (such as in the MyFitnessPal app)?  Are you willing to meet a friend to move together and provide accountability to each other?  Are you willing to exit unrealistic movement goals and start with a tiny movement habit? 

I practiced this myself in 2021.  Instead of aiming towards perfection, I simply committed to walking 15 minutes daily. I know I always have time for 15 minutes, rain or shine. My daily walking habit has improved my physical, mental, and emotional health. Tiny movement habits are sustainable and yield great health and weight loss benefits. 

To learn more about incorporating movement into your weight loss plan, you can seek out an exercise professional to become part of your team. 

Use Headwork Tools to Lose Weight

Finally,  you need to be willing to use headwork tools on a daily basis to lose weight. Headwork is my area of expertise and is often the missing integral piece of the weight loss plan.  My clients tell me headwork is THE MOST IMPORTANT piece of their weight loss plan.

Headwork skills involve moving from HOW do I lose weight to also answering WHY do I eat?  This is often the hardest part of the weight loss journey.  It requires being willing to examine and reframe your thoughts about food, understanding and exiting the emotional eating rollercoaster, setting healthy boundaries with others in your life, and building and using a support team. 

Am I willing to accept I can change my behavior by changing my thoughts?  Sometimes it's so much easier to believe you are controlled by food triggers. The reality is the trigger does not control you, how you THINK about the trigger determines your behavior.

Are you willing to really jump in and listen to your feelings? Take time to name them and honor them in non-food ways? 

Are you willing to start saying no to others to make time for you and your weight loss journey?  Are you willing to not only build a healthy support team around you but actually reach out and use them when needed? 

This is how you will change your will.  These are the headwork strategies I teach every day in my counseling practice and in my online course to help my clients lose weight and keep it off. 

I Want

  • I want to get healthier.
  • I want to lose weight.
  • I want to feel better.
  • I want more energy.
  • I want to wear a smaller size.
  • I want to exercise and move more. 

I want all of this for you too. My passion is to help you live your best life. I challenge you today to take the next step from what you want and reflect on what you are willing to do to accomplish your want. You decide your WILLING step. I shared many examples above.

Wait - Your first instinct will be to try all the WILLINGS at once. Please do not do that. This too will zap your motivation. Start tiny. Be realistic. Read over the suggested medical, nutritional, exercise, and headwork tools. I suggest picking one you could incorporate starting today.  If you do that, your wants will become reality, one step at a time. 

Lora Grabow, LMSW coaches clients in her online community
and in her online course, Foundations in Headwork for Healthy Weight Loss

weight loss want and willing
lora grabow


Lora Grabow, LMSW is a professional counselor and coach who has spent two decades working specifically with weight loss clients in one-on-one therapy and group workshops. Today, she also coaches clients in her online community and in her online course, Foundations in Headwork for Healthy Weight Loss. She helps all her clients tackle the barriers that have kept them from making change permanent and keeping the weight off for good. Read more articles by Lora!