Need to vent

I just need to vent because if I don't I'm going to explode.    Really I should have the sad crying face and not the angry one. 

I am not OCTOMOM!    My god.  Just because I'm choosing to have one more round of fertility treatments that does not mean I'm going to have 8 babies.    I'm so upset!   People stare at me, people talk about me, people ask me why I need more kids, etc.     It ****** me off and then it just makes me sad.  

Everyone knows that I had fertility treatments (well friends and family know, our church doesn't know, but I'm sure they have an inkling) with the twins.   So now I'm getting all these questions and backlash if I should ever have more.  Which by the way, no one understands why I could possibly want more children when I already have the "perfect family"   

Due to some stuff, I had no choice but to tell my parents about this upcoming round of IVF.   While they would love to have more grandchildren, they were less than thrilled.   Because of stupid octomom, they are now convinced that I'm going to have a litter.   I mean, if I was able to conceive naturally this wouldn't even be an issue!   I would be calling them when I was pregnant saying, hi I'm pregnant.     They certainly wouldn't be in my effin bedroom planning that.    However, I need to tell them about the IVF because it's the responsible thing to do.   I have to be on bed rest for 36 hours following the transfer.   We have to travel, stay in a hotel, etc.    If something should happen to me I would at least like someone other than my husband to know our whereabouts.  Know what I mean?  

Now I'm just rambling.   

TTC should be a happy time not some miserable experience.  

I am sorry you are having to deal with that.  Even though I have no idea what it feels like to be in your shoes, or anyone else who has gone or will go through IVF, it still irritates me that people have to voice their opinions about it.  They have no idea what you are going through and would probably have a different opinion had it been them in your shoes, or had psyco lady not had 8 kids at once.  I hate that people have to ruin it for others.  People need to open their eyes realize she is a crazy lady and not everyone out there is like her just because they have to use IVF to have the family they want/deserve/dream of. 

I am sorry that you are being judged about this by other people.  Sometimes I wish some people had a rainbows and butterflies filter on their mouth... in which they could say all the negative **** they wanted, but the filter changed their words into all the warm fuzzy we want to hear.  Unfortunately that is not the reality we live in.  All I can say is try to keep your chin up.

Believe it or not... I have gotten the same flack from some of my family and friends and we conceived naturally.  I always hear... "don't you know what causes that" or... "are you trying for your own baseball team?"   It's not like I have a huge amount of kids or something.  I have 4.  It's just seems like a lot because of all my m/c's and Avery.  It's not like I am asking anyone for help.  Jeramie and I hold our own just fine, financially, emotionally, and physically.  All of our kids are good students, repectful, participate in extracurricular activities and receive plenty of love and attention.  I understand how irritating it can be. 

I am sorry this is making you sad and upset.  Just quietly give them a big F-U and shoot them the bird behind your back.  In the end they will be cooing over however many children you have and their previous comments won't even matter anymore.

Hugs
B

That would be very frustrating. I think 90% of the time people do not realize what they say can be so hurtful. If you and your husband choose to have 10 kids and can support them that is not anyone else's business. The problem now is that you have been stung and it will be hard for you to trust and confide in people who hurt you.

17 years ago when I was pregnant with Savannah, my MIL said to me "don't expect me to babysit like I do Jan's kids". I was hurt because I hadn't planned on it but it also made me feel like she didn't want to bond as much with this grandchild like she did her first 2. It hurt even more when my 2 BIL's had a child each and she watched them almost every weekend. I am sure she never would even remember saying that to me but I never forgot it. Now I wish I had said something. Maybe you should say to the people who have a comment (if they have kids), "Maybe you should have stopped before having that brat of a youngest one". That might shut them up.

One more thing, as much as I didn't want another and was miserable with my last pregnancy, I could not imagine my life without this mischievous little soul. Obviously you still have children out there waiting to be born and it is in your heart to have more. Good luck!! Enjoy your pregnancy and push all the stupid comments out of your mind. You are raising your own children without the help of anyone else so it isn't anyone else's business.

I remember when I was newly pregnant my husband said something like,
well if it's twins, then we'll be done!"  Um, no?  Just because you get two in one shot doesn't mean you're done if you to be pregnant again. 

I guess you can say they are only transferring two, not 6 like the octomom did?  Maybe that will make them feel better?  Either way, it's really none of their business unless you are using them to be a nanny or something.

While my parents were great as far as parents go, absolutely NOT!   LOL    It's their job to be just grandma and grandpa.     Their days of raising kids was over when I moved out of the house (I'm the baby)

We are transferring 3, if they all survive the thaw.    So my parents are convinced that all 3 will survive and all 3 will split.   

 I cannot even begin to express the amount of criticism each time I got pregnant.  I mean, people are just plain rude.  All of our 8 were definitely not planned, but they were definitely a blessing in their own ways.  I am definitely not Octomom.  My husband has always held a great job and been able to support us all and let me stay at home and raise our babies...I would not trade any of them for the world.  I hate that today if you have more than the standard 2.5 children you are some freak.  I say have as many babies as you want!  I feel terrible that you have to have IVF to get pregnant, but am so THANKFUL that there is an option for someone as wonderful as you to be able to have children!  I say go for it...as many times as makes you happy.  You and your husband will know when enough is enough!  

Sending big hugs to you and hoping you can cheer up and enjoy this time!

Laura

They just don't see the "ifs" in your scenario. IF all three survive the thaw. IF they do, then they only have a 40 percent starting chance of implanting. IF they are part of that percentage, then they might be part of the 1-5% that split. IF, IF, IF, IF. Not happening. We put in three, and got back two. Better than average results for a frozen transfer, especially as seeing 60% of FET results in no pregnancy.

They may be your parents, but boy are they being obtuse. I'm sorry!

I don't think people realize how much thought actually goes into the decision to use fertility treatments. No one is sitting there saying lets just give fertility treatments a try. They want to have a baby, and need assistance for it to happen. I know my husband and I have discussed every possible outcome of getting pregnant, having a baby, and/or using fertility treatments. 

Ok, one idiot (octoplet mom) ruined it for all fertility treatments. I don't think most people going into it saying, give me as many babies in one shot as you can. Most RE's have a limit on how many they will transfer.

People are stupid. There off my soap box.

Traci

That is really sad.  I am so sorry.  Just remember that you and your Dr.  are responsible and (NOT CRAZY).  Surrond yourself with upbeat positive and non-judgemental people (like us)......  I for one have told you before I am happy and excited for you and  your family.  Besides what makes the perfect family?