Just thinking questions

Hi,
I was 2 years out from RNY on March 24th.  I've been one of those fat women who never had a boyfriend and yet always wanted a baby to have that mom experience.  Years ago I told myself that I was an independent woman and would do it artificially if I was 30 without prospects.  Well, when I was 30 I was not financially secure and decided to wait for 35.  35 became 40 and then I said I can't afford to lose my 2nd job and keep the house, so I can't afford to have a baby on my own. 

Now I'm 41 and recently have started to move forward with a friend that I've known for a few years.  In the back of my mind I want to go straight to the baby time line--could I possibly get far enough into this relationship to have a baby by the time I am 45? 

So here is the question I have--

I'm not very regular, never was before when I was heavy and since I've had RNY I've used mirena to maitain my cycle and still am not regular.  I know that we are more apt to be fertile after weight loss, but how did you know if it was possible?  I'm a bit on the older side but feel like with my new health I could easily be healthy and active into my 60's to be a good parent. 

What problems are possible being a late-in-life and post RNY mommy?  Will my need for food go up?  I have a great metabolism now and eat small meals every 3 hours to maintain my weight--with a baby would I be able to eat enough to keep healthy?  I can't eat more than I do at one time currently, it makes me sick.

Gosh, I know that I'm jumping to a future I want, but am not ready to go ahead.  Just looking for information. 

It sounds like you are doing everything you need to do once pregnant. I am 38 and just had my baby 2 days ago...I had the biggest problem as I do not eat at all normally since the bypass so I gained only 20 lbs and most people will say,"well I onl gained alittle wt but unlike me, they ate the right way...good luck!!

I don't have many answers to your questions, but wanted to tell you that when I became pregnant, I was able to eat quite a bit more and tolerated sugar and other foods better.   I'm 38 now and expecting my 2nd baby post-op in October.  I don't think age should hold you back.....you will just get more care (ultrasounds, testings, etc.).  If your in good health, then theres no reason not to start trying when your ready!  Best wishes!

Im sorry that I cant help you with the age aspect of it, as I am 27 myself.  But as far as the RNY part goes:  I found that during my pregnancy I can eat substantially more than before I was preggo.  But good luck to you.  I have heard of many successful moms have children into there 40's.   : )

As everyone else said I can eat way more pregnant than before. Kinda scary but I hear it goes back to normal. As for your irregular cycles I would talk to your OB/GYN. I wouldn't want to waste time with just trying without help and/or testing. I'd start those even if you aren't quite ready TTC.

I just turned 43 a week ago - I think I'm the oldest one on here, or real close to it! I've never used Mirena, so don't know a lot about it...but I'd definitely tell you to talk to your dr.  It might be something that you need to be off it a few months and track your cycles w/o it to know your ovulation cycles.  This would also tell if you are having problems with irregular cycles or whatever so that when the time comes the dr knows where you stand and what problems - if any - need to be addressed.

There's a book called 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility,' which I think is an excellent book.  It will help you know how to track your cycle, how to tell when/if you're ovulating etc.  You could also ask your dr to check your FSH levels and your ovarian reserve levels - both of which are blood tests, I think they may have to be done on specific days of your cycle. 

I can't help re the weight gain etc...I haven't managed to stay pregnant long enough to find that out...but my problem is not believed to be age related, but genetic problems with me (not the eggs), so don't let that worry you.

Good luck.  I hope things work out soon for you and you get your BFP as soon as you start trying.

Thanks to everyone who has sent me a message.  I'm so early into the process and so scared.  I have my 2 year appointment for followup at the begining of May (yep, a month and a half late, but I've also seen my actual surgeon for issues so the PA appointment isn't as strict) and I'm going to ask him about my needs.  then I'll schedule an appointment with my gyn to talk about how long ahead I would need to remove the mirena and maybe check hormone levels and any other suplements she thinks I might need to make it safe.  Then I can talk to the PA at any time to check on the amounts of those supplements to get the right absortion  amounts and kinds. 

Wow, I so want to do this, but it's so scarey!  Maybe I do deserve to have my own little one.