Did any of you have trouble exercising?

So my husband had surgery back in March and he has lost about 50 pounds. He just doesn't exercise and it's kind of frustrating. I mean we paid a lot of money and I had hoped he would make the most of it. Will he eventually stall? We were told exercise would be so huge part of this and I've tried to get him to exercise with me. Any time I mention this he doesn't respond well. Any thoughts/suggestions? Am I being too hard on him or expecting too much?

You just have to remember a basic rule : you cannot force someone to change who isn't ready or willing to do it for themselves. I could see being frustrated as it was like any other financial investment that you wouldn't want to wither away but you can't force him. Encourage him, set an example, plan activities that involve walking to get more active without calling it exercise etc. 

Acbbrown,

I know you can't force someone to change. I had just hoped that this surgery would get him off the couch more and up for more activities. It's only been two months so maybe I'm hoping for too much

It's a habit. Just gotta find something he loves. He may feel too self conscious to go to a gym? Guys aren't immune from the same issues that make women hesitant to go. 

Hopefully he will see the health benefit of exercise. 

I had surgery in March too and I have had zero problems exercising.  In fact I'm now doing 9 hours a week between fitness classes, physical therapy for my back, and cardio at the gym.  

Have you asked him why he doesn't want to exercise?  What's his answer?  

I think it's because he's never been an exerciser. He's been overweight his entire life. He's been working nights and claims he's too tired when he gets up in the evenings to get out and walk. I've also mentioned walking in the morning before he goes to bed. I guess it's hard to change the habit you've had your entire life. 

Does your partner have a habit of lying to you?  Your use of the word "claims" makes it sound like you don't believe him.  

Starting with exercise can be super daunting and it can be even harder when someone who is in better shape tries to "encourage" you.  I'd suggest dropping it.  Model good behavior, ask him to go on walks with you from time to time, and otherwise just let him come to exercise on his own.  He's clearly losing weight well so far and while exercise would help with his fitness, not getting it in isn't going to cause him to fail at weight loss.  He might be more interested once he's lost more weight.  

It's really his call, I know how frustrating that is but in the end you can't babysit him into doing what you think is the right way.  Some people jump on the exercise train straight out and some people not until they find they aren't really losing any more.

I do know the more someone tells you that you 'have' to do something the less appealing it seems.  My advice would be to stop mentioning it.  Go on with your exercise life. When he starts out it will have to be something easy like walking so invite him on walks around the block (do you have a dog? even better).  Taking a dog for a walk around one block is a great way to start.

I think it also helps if you can find things to do that are activities he likes rather than "exercise".  Fishing, hunting, golf, car or trade shows, going to the beach, gardening, dog parks, garage sales...all these things will get you out and moving and while it's not a marathon the idea is to increase being out and away from the TV.  We went out to a local Heritage site yesterday and I ended up walking for about 4 hours. I've been pushing far past my complications and trying to get on track but even I wasn't ready for the size of that place.  What was supposed to be a little outting turned into a major event and until my body gave out I wouldn't have said I was out exercising.  I was just spending the day with my hubby.  

Your hubby may never get on a regular exercise routine at a gym, may never be a runner or run marathons but that doesn't mean he can't be active.  It takes the mind a while to catch up with the body that he can do some of the stuff he couldn't do before and it doesn't have to hurt like it did.  

Stop asking for "exercise" and start asking to spend time together doing stuff you both love.  After all it doesn't matter if you walk 5 miles on a treadmill or at a car show.  It only matters that you did ;)

Kekosmom makes some very good points, exercise doesn't always have to be a workout, and a workout doesn't always have to take place at a gym.  Last year my wife and I hired a personal trainer. His goal for us wasn't to have us train at a gym, but train at a gym with things that we can have or do at home.  We have many different rubber bands that we exercise with, dumb bells, These things you can use sitting in your living room watching TV.  When we first started with the trainer he asked me how many sit ups I could do.  I replied honestly and said 2, Maybe......  He gave be a Ball that you can sit on and told me to do sit ups while sitting on the Ball, he wanted 100 of them.  I about died, but did 125 of them and could have done more.  We have them in our living room and even during commercials, we pump out 100 sit ups.  He can do "Planking"  Thats just holding yourself up in a push up position for as long as you can.  You can do it on the floor or you can do it leaning against a wall.  WalMart has a TRX in the sporting goods section that goes on a door.  They are wonderful for working out many parts of the body.  Again, all these exercises can be done in 1/2 hour workout, or just do each item during commercials during a movie each night, IT WORKS!!  And he never has to leave the house!!!

Believe it or not guys can be even more insecure than we are about weight. Maybe he doesn't feel comfortable enough yet to put his overweight self out there for others to see. Yes he should and yes it would be best for him but like the others have said the more you push the more likely he will dig in his heels. Back off for awhile or maybe he'll make a deal to go for a short walk with you after dinner if you will not bring up the subject at other times. Does he have any guy friends that could get him out playing some type of sport? In the end tho it is up to him and you have to do what you have to do and he will do what he has to do but it can't be forced. You enjoy your exercise that is all you can do.