Tonight seeing a friend who has GAINED weight....
She lives 5 hours from me and we haven't seen each other in a couple of years even though we talk regularly on the phone.
She knows I've had the surgery- but she has NEVER seen me this weight before. Usually, she has been in much better shape than me, but over the last 3 or 4 years she has really packed on the weight. Lots of family issues- different family members in the hospital... eating in car while driving hours to the hospital, etc, etc.
While I'd like to be able to go and whip off my coat and reveal the NEW ME! I just don't think that's the nicest thing to do...
but I can't stay in my bulky winter coat all night either! lol
Even with the coat on my face shows how much I've lost... why do i feel like I should put a bag over my head???
We used to do early morning walks together. 5 am! in the winter!
SHE dragged me along when I went to visit her. Then we kept it up after I came back home... walking in the cold and snow... talking on our cell phones! "Walking together - separately"
Ah... this stinks. I know how i felt when I just wasn't in the mood to put the effort in to lose, and other friends were losing weight trying to get me to workout with them.
Oh well. I guess whatever happens - happens.
Maybe she will start her exercise program all over again. I know how she hates how she looks & feels now...
I guess I need to relax and just be as positive as I can be about this.
Still a bit nervous though....
We are going out to dinner over in Saratoga... some nice place... I just want to have a nice time!any suggestions on how to handle this?
Awww - sorry to hear this.
Like you said - you just need to go meet her with a positive attitude. She knows you had the surgery and is expecting you will be thinner. Hopefully she's a very good friend and will be supportive - and won't resent you for being thinner now.
Don't suggest she do ANYTHING to lose weight - just be there to listen to her vent if she needs to and if she asks for suggestions, then you can jump in.
Good luck and hope your visit is fun and stress free!
HW-218/SW-208/CW-126/ Lowest Weight-121/Goal-125 - hit 8/23/09/Height-5'3"
Regain 30 lbs from 2012 to 2016 - got back on track and lost it. Took 8 months.
90+/- pounds lost BMI - 24 or so
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
Have fun and just be a friend.
Gina
5'1" -- HW 195/SW 187/GW 115 July 08/CW 121 Dec 2012
******GOAL*******
Starting BMI between 35 and 40ish?
Join us on the Lightweights Board!
DS on Aug 9, 2007 with Dr. Hazem Elariny
anyway.... thanks for your response.
of course, you are both right about this...
I guess i just needed to vent a little. We all have certain people that we are a little more apprehensive about seeing after WLS for whatever reason. I know how I felt years ago when I knew she was doing GREAT with her weight loss efforts and I was going up on the scale instead of down... it feels like the other persons weight loss is being tossed in your face... but in reality they are just doing what THEY need to do.
I hope it all goes well tonight...
will let you know...
thanks for your support.
Hey there - I know this friend loves you for you, and will be thrilled with your success. You may be an inspiration to her to redouble her efforts (Is it possible that she's a candidate for WLS?)
You're always so upbeat and supportive, I'm sure that she just counts your friendship twice among her blessings.
Hugs,
Kathy
Kathy!(Pre-op: 5'2", 292/277/148-Highest/at WLS/Current)
Let God's presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom
to sing, dance, praise, and love. It is there for each and every one of us.
I have posted about my difficulties with some old F and BF and it's tough! It does change things and it's not always easy. They tell you at seminar to look around at your group of friends, you may find that in two years it's a very different group.
We at support group tend to hang socially for this very reason.........we make new BFs through surgery. That works as long as both are successful in that endeavor..........
Have fun!
275 SW 8/5/08LB 165MW 2009-11, LB complications 2010-14
7-22-14 Revision LB to VSG 212SW/192CW/159GW HT 5'7"
Julie
Julie Extended Abdominalplasty & Breast Lift 6/22/11
fitby40something HW 240/CONSULT 238/SW 225/CW 170/GW 138
"Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption
Sisters separated at birth... by different parents!
So... I know the friendship will survive ... I just feel a little uncomfortable for her knowing she will feel like she has lost all control these last few years.
as far as her having the surgery... I doubt she would ever go ahead and do it. she lives alone and won't even take NyQuil for fear the downstairs neighbor will burn the house down from his careless smoking while she is asleep!
While that may sound extreme... she really has a bad time with meds.
They completely knock her out.
Also currently she needs to be the emotionally together person due to a number of serious illness with her siblings and elderly parents.
Perhaps after things settle a little she will be able to spend more time taking care of herself. In many respects.. we've all been there giving priority to other people instead of caring for ourselves...
Wish I could go skiing with them tomorrow but I've been sick and it's going to be COLD & I have to go to work in the evening. So another time for that. At least she hasn't given up on her skiing!!!!
She finally had WLS in 2004, but I still dress more generously. She's a totally different shape than I am, h as a much better figger, but I don't dress to look petite. Well, any more than I have to, obviously. My step dtr, also. Both of her parents (my dh) have had WLS. My dh is successful, her mom is not. I adore my baby (ok, she's 30), but I wont' rub it in her face. So, I pick my clothes very carefully.
Michelle
RNY, distal, 10/5/94
P.S. My year + long absence has NOTHING to do with my WLS, or my type of WLS. See my profile.
