Ambowe1008

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Well, here is, Monday again. The weekend wasn’t the greatest as far as eating but I did OK I guess. I came home from work early on Friday because I have a cold and I haven’t been feeling the greatest. For some weird reason Iyou  seem to be completely different from every other human being on this planet; when I have a cold I seem to be hungry instead of not feeling like eating like a normal person would. I did give him a couple times to a few different things but nothing major. I think my biggest thing is just trying to put my food down once I start getting that full feeling. I seem to be ignoring it, telling myself that I only have a couple bites left so I might as well finish it, so I do, which I know is probably going to hurt me in the long run so that something I really need tto work on.
I made my chicken zucchini enchilada casserole last night for dinner and put all the leftovers in individual containers to bring for lunches at work this week like I normally do. The more I’m thinking about it though; what I am going to do is try something different this time, so I don’t eat as much. I’m going to cut each serving that I have packed in half and instead of eating the whole serving I’m going to try eating half of it with half a cup of green beans. Hopefully this will help me and I don’t feel afterwards like I haven’t eaten enough. I do have a slim fast shake made up so if I do still feel hungry afterwards I will be able to fall back on that to sip on afterwards. We’ll see where the day takes me!

so, this morning I got up early to exercise before getting ready for church. Amber was up just ahead of me to do the same. She comes out of the bathroom laughing and says, “this explains a lot, I just started my period”. I go in right after her and open the door, looked at her and said, “thanks a lot, I just started mine too”. Lol. I guess that explains a lot of my hunger and cravings this week. 

I did really good today. I decided to try and go a couple days with having mostly shakes to try and jumpstart my getting back on track. I got all my steps in plus more, I had a slimfast shake for breakfast, one for lunch with a couple coffees and plenty of water in between and then I yogurt for dinner mixed with omega 3 trail mix and a diced apple. I did take 1 small bite of Owens baby Ruth bar but that’s ok; it’s all I needed. 

I did notice throughout the day that my body or should I say stomach, wasn’t hungry; it was my head. As long as I wasn’t “thinking” about food I was fine. One thing that was a little hard is when we were driving to come home, I was thinking and fearing getting there. I fear that I will have the hardest time at home because temptation is just so easy. This is really hard but I am going to try my best because my biggest biggest fear is to be the person I used to be. 

 Why do I keep doing it? Why do I keep sabotaging my heath? My weight loss, my life? How did I stay so disciplined and mindful when I started this journey and now I can’t seem to go a full day without feeling guilt, anger, embarrassment, disappointment, frustration, etc? How do I start over and start heading back down the right path before it’s too late? I’m so quick to judge others mistakes on this journey but look at me, I’m by far no better. 

It’s 7:00 am and I’m on my 2nd cup of coffee and I’ve already done my 20 minutes of exercise. To make it a little easier and less tedious, I did 5 minutes on the gazelle, 5 on the elliptical then repeated each to get my 20 minutes. We also took the tv off the wall in our bedroom and mounted it to the wall in front of the exercise equipment which is a nice addition. I can watch the news while I exercise and it goes by quicker. I’ve never been a big exerciser, I’m just lazy, lol. I do though, walk to work each morning when the weather gets better. It’s just over a mile but it’s s nice walk and start to the day.
I’m trying something a little different today with my slimfast shake. I put a teaspoon of chia seeds in it. Something different to see if it’ll help me to feel a little fuller longer. Had my 2 year Surgery follow up the day before yesterday and she suggested adding some chia and/ or flax seeds to my food. I already put chia seeds in my yogurt so I put some flax seeds in too. We’ll see.

Well it’s 8:00 no and I had a pretty good day up until about 10 minutes ago when I caved into temptation once again. It wasn’t horrible but it’s nothing that I needed to have, and now regret having it. I had a good day, got my exercise in early, got all my water in, had my yogurt, granola and fruit for my evening snack and then remembered that we have ghiradelli dark chocolate chips left from our fruit the other day and grabbed a small handful of them with some walnuts. I know it’s nothing horrible and it could’ve been worse but it’s still something that I did not need to have and should have been able to control myself and not take any. I guess I’m only human but it’s not the new life style that I chose to have after having surgery so I guess it’s still something I need to work on every day.

I’ve missed a few days of my blogging. It’s been a good couple and rough couple of days. I have been exercising a lot more which I am really proud of myself. Our elliptical machine came in Saturday and I’ve been using it every day, even before I go to workout in the morning. I have also been eating more too. Not the type of eating more that you get or should be doing because you’re exercising and I haven’t been going too much over my calorie goal

Feb

Just finished my morning coffee and decided to use the gazelle again since I have the time. Shake is made, lunch is packed, hair fixed and I’m dressed so why not get it in now. Did 12 minutes this morning instead of 10 too. Feels good to be in the green on MFP first thing in the morning instead of red.
Just finished my lunch and I’m still in the green. Yay! I’ve been trying to get up and walk around the floor every 20 min-1/2 hour or I take the long way to the bathroom and printer. Suppose to go for a little walk before dinner today with Amber too since it’s nice out today. Then we’ll go home, have our cheese steak stuffed peppers for dinner and have a few of the chocolate dipped fruit we made while we all watch a movie. I’ll try to post a pic of our fruits we made. They aren’t the best looking, lol, but they taste really good.

OMG they were good. For dinner I had a half an orange pepper stuffed with steak, onions, mushrooms and cheese then for dessert, we had our chocolate covered fruit. They were so yummy I could eat them all the time, especially the dark chocolate covered frozen banana slices. We definitely need to make them more often. 

Great start to my day. I had a little bit of extra time before work this morning and Owen (my 9 yr old son) was behaving so I did 10 minutes on my gazelle. When I got to work, someone had left 2 little mini bite sized chocolate bars on everybody’s desk; I gave my two away right off. We had a meeting this morning so I had my slimfast shake with a half of a banana for my breakfast and coffee. Had my zucchini chicken enchilada casserole for lunch and then my yogurt for my afternoon snack. I did end up eating too many bite-size candy bars because one of the other women took hers, dropped them off on my desk and said, here give these to your kids. I did eat them after my lunch but it was ok. There were only 2, they were mini and I journaled them into MFP right away. I knew I exercised in the morning and then I would be walking a little bit after work too so I was OK with it.
After having a salad for dinner with a little bit of grilled chicken and mozzarella cheese in it, Amber and I were making chocolate dipped fruit for the family for tomorrow for dessert for a late Valentine’s Day treat. We bought 60% dark ghiradelli Chocolate chips, a handful of fresh cherries, package of strawberries, and bananas. We made what we good with that one bag of chocolate and that was it. I had a couple bites while we were making them but didn’t overdo it whatsoever.
All in all I had a really good day. I was even 200 steps shy of my goal for the day so before I got into bed I walked in place to finish off my steps and went to bed.

I’m going to have a good day today. I’ve got my food journaled for the day and I’m going to stick to it. Tonight is Tuesday which means we have FPU at the church tonight at 6:00 so I’ll probably work till 5:15 and walk over to the church when I get out then I’ll get my 10-15 min minimum of exercise in. Hopefully it’s not too cold out or raining. I don’t think it’s suppose to be.
Had my breakfast, yogurt with apple and granola and now I’ve got my timer set for when I can drink. That’s one thing I’ve always been 97% faithful in doing.

Did it again today...halfway through my lunch I started feeling full. I held the fork in my hand with another bite on it and stopped; I looked at the bite and thought to myself...is the feeling I’m feeling fullness? What if this is the note that stretches me because I am full? Do I need this bite? I put the bite back in, closed the container and put it aside. Yay! I need to really work on doing that all the time. Like I keep saying...ONE DAY AT A TIME! I ended up finishing my lunch about an hour and a half later which is OK because my afternoon snack was just the slim fast anyways and it was something healthy for me. I just got out of work an hour ago and went for my walk over to the church. Nobody was there yet so instead of standing outside waiting, I put my bags down and I walked laps around the parking lot to get the rest of my steps in and ended up meeting my step goal four the day. Yay!!!! Now I’m gonna go down and eat my salad that I have made with spring mix, avocado, 3 ounces of grilled chicken, a hard-boiled egg, 1 ounce of mozzarella cheese, and some light balsamic vinaigrette. By the time we get home it’ll be almost time for bed so I’m not worried; if I’m hungry I’ll just grab one my pre-portioned out omega-3 trail mixes.
Another good day!!!

I don’t know if they really help or if it’s just all in the mind but I’m trying them out. I’ve heard a lot of good things so I guess it can’t hurt, right? I have an oil that I found, it’s called SLIM oil blend. I’ve researched different blends to make for cravings and such but it can be pretty costly to buy all the different ones. I’ve also found these little things that look like a chapstick but if you open it up, it’s a little glass vile with a wick in it that you put oils in and it releases the scents. They’re called inhalers I believe. Anyway, the oil that I picked up, SLIM, is a combination of the following oils...
* black pepper
* Grapefruit
* Cinnamon
* Lemon
* Peppermint
* Ginger
It says that it helps boost metabolism, energizes and helps manage cravings. It doesn’t smell that bad either. What I’m trying this week at work is opening my inhaler so the wick is exposed and the smell is more right under me at my desk. I’ll see how the week goes, if I think it’s actually helping me at all or not.