Angela M.
More Waiting, Depressed, & NWH
Oct 26, 2006
More waiting today. Nothing much to say about that except- more waiting. That leads to my next topic- depression. I just feel an overwhelming sense of doom. Why? No idea. Everyone else has been so positive to me saying "Oh of course you'll be approved, I just know it," but I don't feel it at all. I guess its because I know rejection all too well and so Im just emotionally preparing myself for it. I want to cry. I suppose I'll wait until the day is over for that. Whatever, next subject- Im going to the new patient orientation tonight at NWH with my mom and grams. That should keep me busy tonight. What to do until then? No idea. Im watching The View right now and its pretty hilarious- thats over at 12, and Im not leaving until 5 sOoOo thats 5 hours to kill. Hmm. Oh well. Last subject- I tried Nectar- Crystal Sky, Roadside Lemonade, and Apple Ecstacy and Isofruit Delight Pineapple- and honestly- I hated them all. GROSS!! Thank god I found Isopure and New Whey because thats what Im doing for protien! And if I can tolerate splenda after surgery I made a tasty concoction today with vanilla soy milk, sugar free hersheys cocoa powder, protien, and ice. Thats super good for you. Okay well Im going to call and schedule a nutrition appointment.
Okay just called to schedule a nutrition appointment and Laura is pretty much booked. I made an appointment with her for November 29th, praying that it will be cancelled because I'll have a date by then. Thats the day the next team meeting is though anyways so maybe if I dont get approved this month (ugh) then next month I will. But I did ask Mary the receptionist what the process is for hearing about approvals and she said everything gets processed and usually you hear in a week. So that leaves me some hope that I shouldnt sulk all weekend. But still. Ughhhh. A week is Nov 1st (Patti's date!) and our meeting is the 2nd...if I go into that meeting crying at least I know people will help me feel better. Everyone there is so supportive! Eh. Okay Im calling Buffy.
Just got off the phone with Buffy. She made me feel better. The thing I love about her is that she doesnt take bullshit. She refuses to let me make excuses for myself and she calls it how she see's it. It gets her in tons of trouble but I know I can rely on her 100%. We talked about confidence and being more proactive for ourselves. It was motivating. Im awaiting a call from Fallon to confirm our behavior group next week since Buffy got one while we were on the phone together and Im going to ask Bethany "HOW DO I FIND OUT IF I'VE BEEN APPROVED?" Even though I will most likely hear the same answer as I did from nutrition, why not ask right? Maybe she'll have the list sitting right in front of her or something and she will leak the info. Who knows? 4 more hours! Its almost lunch time, hmmm?
Me and Brandie today.
Okay just called to schedule a nutrition appointment and Laura is pretty much booked. I made an appointment with her for November 29th, praying that it will be cancelled because I'll have a date by then. Thats the day the next team meeting is though anyways so maybe if I dont get approved this month (ugh) then next month I will. But I did ask Mary the receptionist what the process is for hearing about approvals and she said everything gets processed and usually you hear in a week. So that leaves me some hope that I shouldnt sulk all weekend. But still. Ughhhh. A week is Nov 1st (Patti's date!) and our meeting is the 2nd...if I go into that meeting crying at least I know people will help me feel better. Everyone there is so supportive! Eh. Okay Im calling Buffy.
Just got off the phone with Buffy. She made me feel better. The thing I love about her is that she doesnt take bullshit. She refuses to let me make excuses for myself and she calls it how she see's it. It gets her in tons of trouble but I know I can rely on her 100%. We talked about confidence and being more proactive for ourselves. It was motivating. Im awaiting a call from Fallon to confirm our behavior group next week since Buffy got one while we were on the phone together and Im going to ask Bethany "HOW DO I FIND OUT IF I'VE BEEN APPROVED?" Even though I will most likely hear the same answer as I did from nutrition, why not ask right? Maybe she'll have the list sitting right in front of her or something and she will leak the info. Who knows? 4 more hours! Its almost lunch time, hmmm?
Me and Brandie today.
Waiting Game!
Oct 25, 2006
Well the team is probably meeting shortly to approve this months lucky batch of WLS patients! Will my name come up? Who knows but I sure as hell hope so! Its all about waiting from here. Im really trying to fill up my time so Im not dwelling. I couldn't even fall asleep last night because of all these thoughts going through my mind. I just cant wait until Nov 2nd's group so I can see Buffy and everyone, they really make me feel great. I just got off the phone with Buffy actually and she is amazing. I love that woman- I say that on here every time I write something about her. She has such a powerful personality and she is very blunt and most of the time cracks me up until I almost pee my pants. But she truly believes that I'll be approved. Speaking of that I just wanted to publicly thank everyone who has had such faith in me this week and who have commented on me getting approved- THANK YOU so much, you've really helped me start to believe too. Buffy, Lauren, Rick, Khatlynn, Marisol, Stephany, Erin, Patti, Tamara, Deirde, and the list goes on. You guys are wonderful people. Its only a matter of time, if not this month then next month. I believe its in God's plan for me. Okay but besides WLS talk- I had a test today in Psych of Human Sexuality- pretty good, I was told we dont have class friday- awesome, I plan on watching Beauty & The Beast as soon as I get off the computer- Im a dork. And hmmm what else? Im starving! Im making No Pudge brownies tonight. You get the mix from Trader Joes and mix it with fat free yogurt and they are delicious. Ive really been craving chocolate. I want the sundae that Rick gets me- something like Midnight Fudge Cake Sundae. Oh man. But thats a no-no, I'll stick to Weight Watchers sundae's! Haha. But yea I'll stop here because chances are I'll post again later. c-ya!
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Well my doctor called yesterday with test results and I had no idea what results she was talking about because I haven't seen her since my physical in august and I recieved all my results like a week later. So I called back, she was busy- didnt hear back from her later. Called back today and she was busy but she just called me and boohoo guess what? I HAVE SLEEP APNEA!! And you know why I wasn't expecting results? Ummm my sleep study was done August 2005...more than a year ago. It wasn't my doctors fault though because it was ordered by a different doctor and sent to her and she never followed up with me and the results were lost, no entered in the computer- so my PCP has to go searching for them at the hospital. Imagine I died in my sleep and it was their fault? I should sue! jk jk but yea I have to see a pulmonologist (sp?) and get a CPAP machine. JOY! Well add that to my growing list of co-morbitities at the ripe old age of 19. Great huh? High Blood Pressure, Sleep Apnea, Insulin Resistance, Fatty Liver, Menstrual Problems. GEEEZ! I hope I got approved today and that I hear something ASAP. My clock is ticking.
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Well my doctor called yesterday with test results and I had no idea what results she was talking about because I haven't seen her since my physical in august and I recieved all my results like a week later. So I called back, she was busy- didnt hear back from her later. Called back today and she was busy but she just called me and boohoo guess what? I HAVE SLEEP APNEA!! And you know why I wasn't expecting results? Ummm my sleep study was done August 2005...more than a year ago. It wasn't my doctors fault though because it was ordered by a different doctor and sent to her and she never followed up with me and the results were lost, no entered in the computer- so my PCP has to go searching for them at the hospital. Imagine I died in my sleep and it was their fault? I should sue! jk jk but yea I have to see a pulmonologist (sp?) and get a CPAP machine. JOY! Well add that to my growing list of co-morbitities at the ripe old age of 19. Great huh? High Blood Pressure, Sleep Apnea, Insulin Resistance, Fatty Liver, Menstrual Problems. GEEEZ! I hope I got approved today and that I hear something ASAP. My clock is ticking.
Life, or something like it.
Oct 24, 2006
Well today the excitment is over and Im pretty much back to reality. And even though I have 100% trust and faith in God, meeting goal still didn't make anything definite. Its still a waiting game. Its scary to think that Wednesday between 1:30-3:30 the rest of my life is in the hands of 4 doctors. Well I cant really think that way because it is in the hands of God and he's got me this far so I shouldn't doubt him. But all Im saying is that it can happen, or it can't. Everyone was positive but there were no promises made. I just have to hope and pray. But I don't know how this game goes really, approvals happen wednesday- then what? I wait for a phone call for a consult I think- but that usually takes a while. So I just have to drive myself crazy until then I suppose. The past two years of my life I've spent waiting so it wont kill me to wait a few more weeks. Just please everyone, keep your fingers (and toes...and maybe even your eyes) crossed for me. Thanks so much for reading my journal and giving me tons of inspiration, motivation, and support. Thank you.
I GOT MY ANSWER!!! (about what's next)
Dear Angela,
'----->Patti is getting surgery November 1st with Dr. Arcand!!!
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I went to Know Fat Low Fat in Shrewsbury today and I talked to Scott who is apparently head of vitamins and supplements- he said that patients are sent to him from UMASS to get protien. He knew tons about the surgery and tons about protien. He said that bariatric patients get a 30% discount. Good deal. They had everything. He even gave me a Blue Raspberry Isopure (40g protien in 20oz) and Fruit Punch NewWhey (25g protien in 4oz), they are both really really good. The NewWhey tastes like candy. Awesome. He even said that he mixes cases up for WLS patients so if I order a case of 12 of whichever I can pick a bunch of flavors and each bottle is discounted. Definitely where Im stocking up! Those little bottles are perfect for me to bring to school. One of each during a school day is 60g of protien alone. I hope I can still tolerate them after surgery because I know tastes do change. Scott said that RNY patients favor Isopure. We shall see!
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So Im exhausted and I really don't know why. I keep having thoughts of surgery going through my head so sleep is not an option right now. Ugh. I have a test tomorrow and JOY we get to finish the movie Super Size Me in health class. Im sooo not interested in waking up at 8:30am for psych. Phfeww. Okay Im more energized now- I went to Dr. Bourne's office today and dropped off a huge thank you note- since she has been a huge help to me ever since I went away to school and went MIA and then decided to come back and restart the program. I dont think I would have lost any weight if it wasnt for encouragement. I hope she doesn't think Im a weirdo. Eh, oh well. If a thank you note stops me from getting approved tomorrow then the universe is against me. But I have hope and faith. I just hope that I hear by friday because if they do plan to call me, I will go crazy waiting all weekend to hear! haha okay well I'm going to hit the sack. LATER GATOR
I GOT MY ANSWER!!! (about what's next)
Dear Angela,
It's always so nice to hear from you! Congratulations...you did it! I know how good you must feel.
This is how it happened for me. I met with Laura per usual appt. She weighed me and I had met my goal. She then said she felt "I got it" and she would be recommending me at the next team meeting. I asked when that would be and she would not tell me. She said they usually don't because they get flooded with phone calls asking about approval. They must have been meeting that week because I received a call from Sue in Nutrition who said, "the tema met yesterday and you were recommended for surgery" She then made a pre op apt. for me with Laura to taste the high protein drinks and learn the stages of post op eating. Sue said Dr. Arcand's office would be receiving my name that day. Dr. Arcand's offcie called me the day after that to make my appt.
His secretary, Lisa is very nice and understands our urgency to move ahead.
- Patti'----->Patti is getting surgery November 1st with Dr. Arcand!!!
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I went to Know Fat Low Fat in Shrewsbury today and I talked to Scott who is apparently head of vitamins and supplements- he said that patients are sent to him from UMASS to get protien. He knew tons about the surgery and tons about protien. He said that bariatric patients get a 30% discount. Good deal. They had everything. He even gave me a Blue Raspberry Isopure (40g protien in 20oz) and Fruit Punch NewWhey (25g protien in 4oz), they are both really really good. The NewWhey tastes like candy. Awesome. He even said that he mixes cases up for WLS patients so if I order a case of 12 of whichever I can pick a bunch of flavors and each bottle is discounted. Definitely where Im stocking up! Those little bottles are perfect for me to bring to school. One of each during a school day is 60g of protien alone. I hope I can still tolerate them after surgery because I know tastes do change. Scott said that RNY patients favor Isopure. We shall see!
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So Im exhausted and I really don't know why. I keep having thoughts of surgery going through my head so sleep is not an option right now. Ugh. I have a test tomorrow and JOY we get to finish the movie Super Size Me in health class. Im sooo not interested in waking up at 8:30am for psych. Phfeww. Okay Im more energized now- I went to Dr. Bourne's office today and dropped off a huge thank you note- since she has been a huge help to me ever since I went away to school and went MIA and then decided to come back and restart the program. I dont think I would have lost any weight if it wasnt for encouragement. I hope she doesn't think Im a weirdo. Eh, oh well. If a thank you note stops me from getting approved tomorrow then the universe is against me. But I have hope and faith. I just hope that I hear by friday because if they do plan to call me, I will go crazy waiting all weekend to hear! haha okay well I'm going to hit the sack. LATER GATOR
*Thank The Lord*
Oct 23, 2006
I MADE MY 5% GOAL TODAY!!! 
PLUS ONE EXTRA POUND!!! OMG I AM SO FREAKIN EXCITED. ON THE NUTRITIONISTS SCALE I WAS 345!! OMG DO YOU KNOW HOW FREAKIN HAPPY I AM? YOU HAVE NO IDEA. THAT MEANS THAT WEDNESDAY THEY MAY APPROVE ME. YAY!!!! I CANT WAIT. OMG OMG OMG.
Anddddddddd 
SOOOOO freaking much to Lauren- who has become my bestest friend, my gaurdian angel, and just the awesomest person ever. I couldn't have through all this crap recently without a great friend like you!!! I hope I do as much for you as you do for me.
Side Note: Just wanted to say that I got 4 samples of Unjury from the nutritionist (Chocolate, Vanilla, Strawberry Sorbet, Unflavored) and I tried 2 so far, Chocolate and Strawberry Sorbet, and results: Chocolate was okay (Hanks was better) and Strawberry Sorbet- UGH YUCK EWW ICK BLAH GROSSS. Nasty. I can't get the gross taste out of my mouth. Never again. I smelt it, gagged, took a sip anyways, then dumped it out immediately. Oh yea actually my mom tried a sip too and she said ICK!. Thats a no-no for me. So later on or tomorrow I'll try Vanilla and Unflavored. And sometime this week I will be getting my Nectar and Isofruit samples and I'll letcha know how that goes!
BooHoo =(
Oct 22, 2006
Im depressed. I really want to change my weigh-in now until wednesday because I got on the scale and Ive gained 1.6lbs overnight. So yea yesterday was definitely water. I didnt eat much yesterday at all. I don't know if I should just change it and see what difference 48hrs makes or if I should keep it and get it over with. Can I lose 2lbs in 2 days? That will require starving myself. Ugh no no I can't do this to myself anymore, I just have to go get weighed and leave the rest up to God and my Gaurdian Angel. Why not just get it over with? GRRR. Okay Im going to school, maybe when I call Lauren later she will help me feel better.
9:30- Im so obssesive and pathetic. After my first class I came home and weighed myself again. I am one pound lighter then two hours ago. So half a pound between now and 2:15? Thats like no water, extra peeing, and walking on the tredmill. haha We shall see! =) poop.
9:30- Im so obssesive and pathetic. After my first class I came home and weighed myself again. I am one pound lighter then two hours ago. So half a pound between now and 2:15? Thats like no water, extra peeing, and walking on the tredmill. haha We shall see! =) poop.
Ladies & Gents!
Oct 21, 2006
::DRUMROLL PLEASE:: As of this morning I am 346.8lbs, do you have any idea what that means? Less than 1 freakin pound away from my 5% goal set by the Fallon Weight Nazi's- in order to approve me for surgery!! My weigh-in is tomorrow but Im really nervous about two things so Im not sure if I should try and postpone the weigh in until wendesday- first what if their scale is a little different and Im farther away on theirs. Or what if I make it for wednesday and my whole lack of self control kicks in and I screw things up? We'll see what the scale says tomorrow morning and how things go today. Im going to drink lots of that Chinese Herbal Weightloss tea today even though its the most digusting thing Ive ever tasted, it keeps things moving through your digestive system well. Yuck. I could also try some exercise but pshhh who wants to do that? We shall see. I really believe that this weight loss the past couple of days was a combination between my efforts and my prayer. Im usually not one of those super religious freaks but I believe in God and I believe in how much he has guided my life thusfar so I turned to him for this because its the hardest thing I think I will ever have to do. And he is really helping me out. Okay okay Im gonna run and eat some breakfast (2 eggs) but I think I should say something cheesy here like...
*God Bless*
2:40pm- Im depressed. Nobody ever wants to do anything. Life is so goddamn boring. Its like even if I was skinny and energetic right now- what the hell would I be doing? There is nothing to do and nobody to hang out with. I hope Im not expecting too much from losing weight. I have to realize that its not going to change my boring life too much. Yes I'll physically feel better but its not going to transform my world into palm beach or beverly hills. I need friends. Yes, I need friends. Im going to call Buffy...
5:30pm- Just watched CLICK, it was good but so sad. I laughed and cried and felt so dumb lol. But yea Im still bored as hell. Might as well just eat dinner and read and go to bed. Figures.
The Top Ten Reasons why Weight Loss Surgery is NOT “the easy way out”
10. It's very expensive. Many health insurance companies don't pay for the surgery, and even when they do, co-payments and other costs add up quickly. Also, it can become very costly to constantly replenish wardrobes as the weight comes off.
9. Recovery can be very painful. Besides the pain from the surgery wound, patients may experience nausea or severe gastric distress. Patients with sleep apnea may become sleep-deprived, with all of the associated adverse affects, when they must discontinue use of their CPAP machines to avoid disturbing the staples creating their tiny new stomach pouch.
8. Recuperation can take a long time. Patients may be “out of commission” and absent from work for a prolonged period of recovery time. In some cases, patients may not be able to return to work or normal pursuits for up to 10 – 12 weeks.
7. It's hard work and a major time commitment. For optimal results, patients should engage in aerobic exercise for up to an hour daily. For bodies unaccustomed to vigorous exercise, this can be very hard. It's also a real challenge for WLS patients to learn all they must about nutrition so they can assure that their food and vitamins are sustaining their body. Finally, it can be exhausting to consciously, carefully and painstakingly chew every bit of food that enters your mouth.
6. Vomiting isn't fun. Nor is diarrhea. It may take patients many months (and frequent episodes of vomiting or diarrhea) to identify incompatible foods and to learn the practical limits of their newly reduced stomachs or digestive systems.
5. It takes extraordinary courage to consciously limit food choices for the rest of your life (and potentially limit social opportunities built around meals). For many patients, life after WLS means treating food as a fuel, not as a source of drama, excitement, comfort or a central life focus: i.e. eating to live rather than living to eat. While some procedures may be reversible, for most patients WLS is a lifetime commitment, requiring a lifetime of major lifestyle changes.
4. Weight loss surgery can be dangerous. As many as .5% of surgery patients may die from the procedure, and up to 5% may experience debilitating medical complications (especially if they listen to their peers' advice more carefully than their doctor's.)
3. It takes great bravery and strength to deflect other people's judgments and society's myths about obesity. Fat people are often blamed and shamed by family and friends with simplistic advice, unrealistic solutions, and uninformed prejudices. Whether it's for genetic or metabolic reasons, diet and exercise, willpower and discipline have never, by themselves, been enough. Our appetite regulators simply don't work. Without WLS, we don't know when we're full!
2. What gives anyone the right to judge which path is right for another? Is a person who runs a 10K taking a “better” or “tougher” route to wellness than the person who walks vigorously every day? Is working with weights better than water aerobics? Different strokes for different folks. Each of us finds our own right way, and how dare others judge our path to health and longevity! By their reckoning, the most courageous thing would be for us to suck it up and die young.
1. For many morbidly obese people, WLS may be the ONLY realistic alternative for achieving a long, healthy life. The newest research provides irrefutable evidence that body weight is largely a function of genes — just like height or a family propensity for cancer. These genes help regulate appetite and metabolism. People prone to obesity seem to gain excessive weight easily, while finding it difficult or impossible to lose it. That's why diets almost always fail and why WLS is currently the only viable weight loss option for many morbidly obese people, according to endocrinologist David Cummings of the Veterans Affairs Puget Sound Health Care System. Most people can lose no more than 5-10% off their "natural" body weight by exercising and eating wisely. Decades of diet studies show that more than 90% of people who lose weight by dieting gain it all back within 5 years. "There are exceptions, but when you are speaking of general rules, the only people who are able to lose more than 10 percent of their body weight and keep it off are people who have had gastric-bypass or other bariatric surgery.
WOZERS!!
Oct 21, 2006
I lost 3.6lbs overnight! haha Yesterday I tried to eat like I already had surgery and even drank some protien and oh man, down lots of weight this morning! Its probably all water but I DONT CARE! Im going to continue that for the rest of the weekend and monday afternoon and I get weighed again monday at 2. I hope I keep down the weight I lost last night and that I lose 2 more freakin lbs. Gotta hit the tredmill! Or do the Walk Away The Pounds video! yeaaaaaaaaa....
LATER- So today I ate the following:
2 apples
pineapple
1 slimfast
2 boiled eggs
turkey (98% ff)
roasted veggies
boneless skinless chicken breast
Tomorrow I am going to eat 2 eggs for breakfast, tuna for lunch, and chicken for dinner.
I called Buffy tonight (from my fallon group) to see how she was doing and I just have to say that I love her. She is a freakin nutcase and always makes me laugh. Im so glad I met her. She is just wonderful and she tells it how it is. Oh how I admire truthful, blunt people. She is having a hard time with Fallon but I know eventually she is find her way. I cant wait to see her again- next group is November 2nd!! Im still going to the NWH group next thursday with my mom, keeping my back up plan and all. But I dont think I will need it. This is the first time Ive ever felt really optimistic with Fallon. Im going to try and call monday morning though and see if I can change my weigh in to tues or weds. Wow and its less then two more weeks until my friend Patti has her surgery! How exciting!! =)
What else? Oh yea...I MISS MY BOYFRIEND!! His cross country team (53 middle schoolers) had a sleepover last night so he had to stay up all night and he doesnt sleep well anyways so he is exhausted and probably sleeping as we speak so I havent gotten the chance to talk to him. I miss him tons. I probably won't get to see him again until the second week in November or even Thanksgiving time. POOP. Its okay though- it will make it that much more special. And maybe I'll be farther along in this WLS journey by then so I'll be all happy and excited! Oh well...off to bed maybe, I'll sure as hell be back tomorrow!!
LATER- So today I ate the following:
2 apples
pineapple
1 slimfast
2 boiled eggs
turkey (98% ff)
roasted veggies
boneless skinless chicken breast
Tomorrow I am going to eat 2 eggs for breakfast, tuna for lunch, and chicken for dinner.
I called Buffy tonight (from my fallon group) to see how she was doing and I just have to say that I love her. She is a freakin nutcase and always makes me laugh. Im so glad I met her. She is just wonderful and she tells it how it is. Oh how I admire truthful, blunt people. She is having a hard time with Fallon but I know eventually she is find her way. I cant wait to see her again- next group is November 2nd!! Im still going to the NWH group next thursday with my mom, keeping my back up plan and all. But I dont think I will need it. This is the first time Ive ever felt really optimistic with Fallon. Im going to try and call monday morning though and see if I can change my weigh in to tues or weds. Wow and its less then two more weeks until my friend Patti has her surgery! How exciting!! =)
What else? Oh yea...I MISS MY BOYFRIEND!! His cross country team (53 middle schoolers) had a sleepover last night so he had to stay up all night and he doesnt sleep well anyways so he is exhausted and probably sleeping as we speak so I havent gotten the chance to talk to him. I miss him tons. I probably won't get to see him again until the second week in November or even Thanksgiving time. POOP. Its okay though- it will make it that much more special. And maybe I'll be farther along in this WLS journey by then so I'll be all happy and excited! Oh well...off to bed maybe, I'll sure as hell be back tomorrow!!
So-So
Oct 20, 2006
Well last night I felt HORRIBLE. I was having the worst pains in my lower left side and I thought something was wrong with my kidney. I still kind of have the pain but its dull- last night I couldnt even breath, I just layed there with the heating pad for hours. Vicodin didn't even help. But yea so today I felt a tad bit better but I wasnt pleased that I had to wake up this morning and take a psych test at 8:30am. I am SOOOO not a morning person. Then I came back home and slept, then went back to school from 11:30-1:20. We watched that gross movie Super Size again. Ick. Today so far I ate an apple, a slimfast, two string cheese sticks, cauliflower, and I am having a chicken salad for dinner. I didn't want to eat at all but I can't handle it. I was going to do just protien shakes today to see how things would be after surgery but omg I was on the phone with Lauren when I was making a chocolate protien shake I bought from Living Earth and I gagged so loud, it was NASTY!!! Never again. I hope I find some tasty ones for after surgery or else I may as well not even have it because Im going to be living off those things! haha. Well that was today, nothing special. Im so glad its finally the weekend but now I have to cram for two more tests next week. I hate school, blahhh.
Oh yea last thursday I was 352 and today I was 351.8, JOY! Yea...right. I neeeed to be 346 like RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
Oh yea last thursday I was 352 and today I was 351.8, JOY! Yea...right. I neeeed to be 346 like RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
Fallon Nutrition Appointment
Oct 19, 2006
I met with Laura today and she was really positive. She made me feel very motivated that I will in fact be able to have surgery with Fallon sometime soon. Thats great. She actually said to me that since Dr. Bourne wants to approve me and that she definitely thinks that I am ready it really isnt about weight and she isn't going to hold me to a specific weight loss percentage if I am ready. It was also really nice because she said I know much more then most people about the sugery and that she can really tell that Ive been doing my homework. We talked about protien samples and stuff like that. Then when it was time to go she said that she would have Sue call me to set up an appointment with her again in 4 weeks but we can always cancel it if I have a date by then!!! Doesn't that sound promising? She really made it sound like she will push to approve me! She understood my frustrations and told me not to feel discouraged and don't give up because I will be able to have surgery soon. That was great to hear because nobody in the program has said that to me before until now. I really love Laura as a nutritionist and I reccomend her to anyone- she is very helpful, knowlegeable, and really relates to people. She is wonderful. So Im going back for a weigh in monday at 2 so Im doing a liquid/pureed diet until then becuase I just hoped on the scale and this week I gained .4lbs, I mean its not a whole pound but their scale usually is higher then most so I really want to be sure Im closer to goal. I have 5lbs to lose until I reach my 5%!! Go me.
Good/Bad
Oct 19, 2006
Okay so I think today I might quit Jenny Craig. Its sad because Geri, my consultant really believes in me and super supportive and helpful (she has had the surgery!). But I got a voicemail, a very LONG voicemail, from Betsy who is the Sales Mgr or whatever there and she said good things like she is proud of me for losing weight consistenly every week and that I've been doing so well...but then she has to throw in- "I think you should join JC for 12 months (around $400 + $110 a week for food) and rethink your OTHER option." Meaning WLS- I mean I know its her job and all to get people to give them money but I just feel like she isn't looking at me as a person- she is looking at me as more money for her company. She isnt saying that surgery is dangerous and maybe I can finally do it on my own, she is saying- GIVE ME MONEY! And she says that EVERYTIME I see her and now she is calling me and saying it. It makes me not even want to go there. But we shall see. Im going to meet with Laura the nutritionist from Fallon in 1 hour and I hope that when I come back Im not in tears over any bad news. I layed in bed this morning and I prayed to God honestly about how Im feeling and what I hope and wish for and I really think he will help me out because I truely believe he has been looking out for me SO MUCH in the past. But if its bad news then its not his will that I get surgery at this time, or by this doctor. Things will work out, they have to. I will update when I am home. Keep your fingers crossed for me!!
