Yet another unfill

Jan 17, 2010

Had another 0.3cc removed today.  I woke up at 5am with a buring and tightness in my middle lower chest.  I had a PB on Saturday on some Quinoa.  Went to see the doctor today just to make sure all is well but because I may or may not be pregnant we could not look at my band under floro. 

I won't be able to take the pregnancy test until next weekend and even when I do I will not tell people until I'm through the first trimester.  So don't come asking.   This time we want to wait to tell just in case I miscarry again its hard telling people or having people check on you months later when they didn't know.  So we will wait.

Doctors orders are foods that are easy on the tummy and tums.  They think its just inflamed and needs some time to relax but so do I.  I currently only have 1.7cc in a 4cc band or at least that is what they are telling me.  I asked why I keep needing unfills.  I know one is for the weight I have gained but I guess the others could be due to stress.  Stress of getting pregnant, and other life troubles.  

I still continue to stuggle with my eating I started the Daniel Fast on Jan 11 in the hopes that getting closer to God would help me work out my thoughts and struggles I do believe it was helping.  But I am going to put it on hold for a couple days to let my belly rest.  God will understand.

Daniel Fast = All Fruits, All Veggies, Whole Grains, Nuts & Seeds,  Legumes, Soy Products, Quality Oils, Water and you can use spices.  (Kinda like a vegan diet)  Lots and lots and lots of fiber so I would add Imodium to your diet if you plan to try this.

The other thing that I've decided is I will no longer focus on that number on the scale.  When I see the Dr.  I get on the scale backward so I can't see the number.  All they tell me is if its a loss or gain (not how much).  I need to take my power back.  It's not about that number, its not about the number on my clothes,  It is about getting healthy and making good choices for me, mind, body and spirit.  If I get those in line the weight will come off but that number is just not important.  The focus is on fixing my thoughts so I stop using food as my drug.  It's hard but do-able.

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