Just past 13 months and still struggling

Nov 29, 2010

Well, I figured that you guys deserved an update so here it goes.  I admit that I have been emotionally taxed to say the least.  Over the past month I have found myself really struggling.  I have been eating like the old me...not counting calories, water, or protein.  Eating whatever I thought I wanted.  Consuming much too much.  I guess I had almost given up. 

I am still wearing a 16 most of the time.  Sometimes 14s and other times 18s.  I have fluctuated between 226-232 this month.  I am not doing any structured exercise program.  I have fallen back into old habits.  Oh, and it seems that I can eat much more than I would like. 

So, I prayed for years for God to help me to lose the weight  I have lost a good bit, but if I don't change something soon I am gonna be right where I started.  I decidied that I would do this master cleanse diet where you have this concoction of lemon juice, water, organic maple syrup, and cayene peper with a laxative tea in the evening.  Well,  I guess that probably will not help me in the long term.  So, I decided that I was gonna start on protein shakes again.  I am not sure how I will do and how my head hunger will play out.  I know I just still have so far to go.  I wanna be healthy.  I know that most of you will suggest that I see a therapist.  I have considered it, but haven't made a call yet.  I know that I would benefit from some face to face OA meetings, but I have only made one in the year since I realized that I have an eating addiction.  I really need to get control over this monster.

So, 13 months and no real progress in the last 7 months.  I am almost embarrassed to tell people I had VSG, due to my poor progress.  I really seemed like I started well.  How did I end up here?  I struggle every day!

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