5 days post op

Jul 31, 2010

Ok, so today was rough.  I don't like long classes to begin with and having an 8 hr class was impossible.  I fell asleep, lunged over, went to the bathroom, anything I could to get the pain to stop.  I can only sit up for short periods of time before I am in pain.  Tonight will be my first night alone with Leo which should be interesting.  Hopefully he will go to bed without too many issues.  I think I am experiencing head hunger because I want food, but I don't feel like I'm starving.  the brohs are not bad if you add boullion powder to them which also helps mask the taste of the protein powders.  I am tired, but sporadically, not the entire time.  Tomorrow I will try and take Leo out to the park, but I'm not sure how well it will work on my own.  I have to figure it out sometime.  I can't wait to be healthy enough to do everything with him.  He is being very sweet and tries to kiss all of mommy's boo-boos.  He is a truly good little boy and that is encouraging.  He was out with Iris and Adrian today and they ran into his dad.  Ramon didn't even bother to say hello to him.  He said hi o Adrian and then walked away.  I can't believe I was ever with someone like that.  I am determined never to be with another loser like that again.  I almost started that way a few months ago and I went on a few dates with two different guys.  Both were only looking for sex and I discontinued them within a few weeks.  Before they would have gone on forever.  I started to mess up, but I cought myself and I'm jus not going to do it anymore.  If the guy doesn't go to church on a regular basis, have a professional career, own his home and car, and relatively debt free, also no smoking and only a casual drinker then I don't want anything to do with him.  I want a man that is going to lead Leo and me in a christian lifestyle, not some imature brat that I have to take care of.  Well that my rant for tonight.  Overall things are ok.  I will start my job search in about 2 week more heavily and make sure I have a way out of my current situation.     

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