Fighting Years of Habits!

Oct 02, 2010

I can't believe it has been almost three weeks since visiting OH.  I remember in the beginning, I was on OH literally all day, every day.  It is what kept me going, kept me strong, focused, and hopeful.  I learned so much, addressed my fears, felt the love.  Everyone did not always agree. Some where even mean to others.  I can't imagine where I would be if OH had not been here for me.  So why have I strayed? It may have a lot to do with my mindset these days.  I have lost so much weight that my body is doing what it used to do, hold on to the pounds.  I slingshot back and forth so bad.  I lose, I gain, I lose and gain. I go to the gym religously.  Then I stop and don't go for weeks.  

 Sounds like the ole days before WLS.  So I fight against returning to the old mindsets, the fears, the doubts, giving in to old temptations.  I baked some oatmeal raisin cookies recently. I tried to resist the urge, but honest to God, the craving for them crept into my dreams.  I would wake up with the desire for warm baked oatmeal cookies.  So, I went out late into the night and bought them, baked them and enjoyed them.  Had to get it out of my system.  Be prepared for that.  Be prepared for years of habits creeping back. Be ever vigilante.  It is a struggle every day and will be for the rest of my life. 

Deb, I don't know what made you send me emails that were not even related to OH, but I thank you because it make me stop in and in doing so, realized I need to be here.

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