Talk with EX

Jul 18, 2011

So my exhusband called yesterday and we talked ...really talked for the first time in a long time. He actually is hurting and was hurting. It wasn't as easy for him as it seems, I mean it was easier for him than it was for me. He does still have unresolved issues about me, he wished things would have been different and we could have worked things out. He wished that I would have taken an interest in the cars and stuff he was interested in. He said he wanted a best friend and a wife and I stopped being that. Well I stopped being that because money got in between us and it was impossible to get through it. He was so mad at me, and even though he hid it well often it was obvious that he really resented me for messing up financially so often. He feels like I cheated him out of a lot of money and I guess I unintentionally did by letting him pick up the slack on bills that I was suppose to be paying. I let other people influnence me into thinking that he would get over my short comings and we would work stuff out and "everything would be ok". And into thinking that he was just a jerk and our marriage was a sham...which I guess both of those things turned out to be true. I couldnt compete with his love of money and still to this day the money meant more to him than anything. He said he couldn't trust me because I lied about money but if I told him the truth it would have ended a long time ago, I just didn't make enough money to pay all the bills that were my responsiblity, and he couldn't comprehend that. So I guess it was all for the best I just wish I was younger when it ended. I was having a hard enough time turning 30, him kicking me out of my life a few months before I turned this dreadful age didn't help me at all. Though the life I was thrown from that he got to keep really wasn't a life at all, I just enjoyed being married and not being single status wise, and not being back in the dating scene, and I loved having the big hourss and new car that he kept. THose things are what is hard to deal with, he kept out life and I have to make a new one. Just very depressing. But I am glad that he finally showed some emotion about the whole deal,even though he is dating and I am not. 

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