jenstime
It is April
Apr 04, 2009
Well it is April. How do I feel now that I am almost 4 mos. out? The 12th I will be 4 mos. out and I've been stuck at 26 lb. weightloss since my check up on the 20th. I am going for my 4th fill on Tues. and hoping that will jump start a few lbs. I have noticed that during and before TOM I am tight. Then again the only thing I really want to eat is crud...why I don't know. Once TOM is over I am usually back to being a good girl. Also in these last few mos. I've discovered that Cookies are Demons! lol (I can't eat just one) I am doing well all in all. Stuggling with stress eating right now, but am working on it each and everyday.My husband finally noticed my weightloss (I hope so after over 60lbs. since last April!) he asked if he was going to have to pay for a tummy tuck etc.? I wasn't sure if I should feel good about the comment or bad...still undecided. Most people are telling me that they notice a change in me, but I don't think people who are around you a lot really notice the "true" changes in you, certainly not the confidence, the happiness.
I've been struggling with exercise too. My 6 yr. old told me I was healthy now (sure I only have 80ish more lbs. to go) so I don't need to exercise anymore. He doesn't like that I am not home M-F. I even took 2 wks. off to spend with them, wasn't enough...agggh I love my kids sometimes it is so difficult to walk out that door, even though I KNOW I am doing it for everyone in my household. The other day I was sitting in the dressing room asking myself, why I am killing myself with exercise lol. I've never been too into it, but I've been really trying lately and it's kicking my butt! Oh well, no work/pain no gain right!
This is definately a learning journey...have a learned a whole lot yet?? Hmm... I think I've learned that you have to truly be honest with yourself, if you can't be, you're going to have an even harder time. Like when I get upset I want to run to those cabinets and find something/anything to munch on...I can't really do that anymore and man...am I moody because of it...my poor family lol But on the other hand, I am learning that I need to find other resources to deal with it, getting outside, going for a drive, writing a song down...I've also started realizing that a lot of things drive me crazy...my kids arguing, my husbands hobby and just a lot things in general and now those too I am having to deal with differently...not always easy.
On the good side, I've learned that I enjoy the outdoors again. I enjoy getting up and not being too tired to stay up. I am able to feel like there is light at the end of this tunnel...and it's going to be a long road, but I'll get to it...and so will you!!
