jenstime
The end of April...yikes!
Apr 25, 2009
Here we are, the end of April and I've gained weight! Last time I looked I'd gained 4 lbs.!! I had to go in and have a slight unfill because I wasn't able to eat my protein and now I can eat like a trucker! lol, well that really is a stretch but I certainly can eat most anything, even bread which I haven't eaten since being banded!! I usually stick to a herb whole wheat wrap if I want something sandwich like, but the other day I decided I'd really love bread...mistake! Lets see you'll find in here repeatedly the cookies are my demons! I took them out of the house, but in one day I was able to eat 7 cookies! Yes you read that right, why did I eat 7 cookies you may ask...it's all my fault. I have had quite a stressful mos. my dh was gone for a few days and I was alone w/ the kids and tried to make a "fun" wknd. for them, had them help me cook and make things. But we've been dealing w/ bills and lots of stress so I ate a billion cookies to cope...wrong, definately, but it is what I did. Dealing with stress eating has proved to be a big problem for me, I know when I am doing it, I just haven't figured out how to stop, I've tried going outside and working in the yard (I've planted lots of flowers this year lol) walking, even going to my Moms (whose pretty much my main support here) but it usually intensifies. Then I've really begun paying attn. to my cravings, definately have a greater amount of cravings 1 1/2 wks. before TOM. I mean, great cravings! argh. I did notice when I ate the cookies that I was eating around my band, and drinking too! (water) So I have stopped that, no more grazing! Sometimes it feels so difficult, I see my dh, just take bite after huge bite and yes, sometimes I miss being able to do that, especially when we're in a hurry as a family, everyone else will be done and waiting on mom to finish her miniscule meal lol. I don't miss these things enough to take my band back, just sometimes it is frustrating and you've got to find a way to cope. Mine of course used to be food and so the food and I are in a fight and for a wk. or so the food WAS winning! No more, I cannot let it win. I go in for another fill on Tues. the 28th (today is the 26th) so I am so excited about that. I also plan on doing liquids for the two days and then mushies for a day before I begin again (so to speak) because I just cannot fight these sweets without some sort of combat plan lol. I also am checking into a gym that is right here in my town and am considering changing my exercise plan. Right now I do exetreme water aerobics (weights, laps, push ups, aerobics, squats, crunches, sit ups etc. all done in the water) 4 X a wk. but I've been doing these for almost a year and maybe it's time to change it up. I am also going to start walking again now that the weather is beautiful. Oh and planning to save up for a bike! Anyway, this journey has really been harder than I thought it would be. It's definately worth it, it's just tough. It really is amazing how much of the work with the band is actually you. Because you can still eat those horrible foods and you can still be lazy and you can still gain weight. This is a YOU type surgery, you are responsible for yourself, for your eating and your exercise. I must remind myself everyday!!
