kerniec

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I have that weird funny feeling down there.  Not burning, but weird, sort of painful, ODD, hurting think I need pain meds.........I took my antibiotics like a good girl, but I am worried and they were brand name since I needed liquid and cost $25 I didn't have at the time, AARGH!  Hell, i never have $25 for antibiotics, fuck.  I don't have a good feeling and it's a Friday night, but I will totally call the surgeon if the pain gets worse or I experience any burning, I am not an idiot!  Dang it!  I was doing so well.........maybe this is why I kept getting lightheaded and almost blacking out the last two days.  I am doing NOTHING tomorrow, we were supposed to go to the butterfly festival at Cox Arboretum. 

Today I feel human.  Krista C challenged me to take on the August exercise challenge which I have totally never done........so I am doing it because, well, I am always one to take on a challenge.  I did 35 minutes today and I am so thankful for my life.  I could not believe how incredibly far I could walk without trying in 35 minutes.  I didn't clock the distance or anything but it was significantly further than I expected to do. I didn't expect to have that much energy or stamina this soon after that much anesthesia, lortab, etc........I feel so good, I am definitely taking Tylenol for my next dose.  I just can't believe I feel this strong and alive after all that cutting..........sure beats last year!     Just one week to my bandiversary!

Well, I quit the narcotics on Sunday but decided to take them last night so I could sleep.  My anxiety is pretty bad, will talk to Dr. W about that next week.  $$ is the big concern, Dish got turned off because I couldn't pay, and I was worried about food for the week, but I took care of that at the store so we should be set for the week.  I can drink coffee until I can't stand myself at least.  The swelling has gone down a smidge on my abdomen but it's still really, really big!  I can't believe how swollen I still am. I can feel my urethra when I wipe after I pee, it makes me shudder......it's swollen too.  I will at least keep up the tylenol when I don't want the lortab, for the swelling.

I have my appetite back I am not nauseous anymore so now it's willpower not to sit and eat all bloody day.  UGH.  I will drink myself until I drown I guess!  As those of you who have read my blog know, my band is named Towanda and the new port is Idgy 2.0.  So I am watching Fried Green Tomatoes and I love it but I have seen it so much I don't even have to watch, I know every scene and I can quote every word.........The lortab is stopping me up plus of course I haven't eaten all that much and my period is SO HEAVY today I am passing clots.  It started on Friday but then stopped and restarted.  I have been bleeding from the surgery also so at this point I don't know what blood is what, gross I know but hey my blog is not for the squeamish! 

I am tired and don't have much energy that's for sure, I am going to make meatloaf for dinner tonight, doesn't that sound awesome?  I use ground beef, the full fat kind (I'm poor, remember?), oatmeal, bbq sauce, ketchup, onion, bacon and cheese.  My fave version I put a layer of cheese, onion and bacon in the middle of two "loaves" of meat and put it all together in a bread loaf type of pan, I think I will make that kind tonight.  I do feel better and I am grateful for my surgeries although I hope these are the last I need for some time!

Day 2 postop still nauseous but not as much as yesterday.  Belly still extremely swollen from the port removal and replacement.  It looks eerily like it did when I got the band placed, except that there is only the one big incision, kind of freaky!  I am tired easily and feel like crap most of the time, can't wait to get my energy back.

Forcing myself to drink lattes and had some greek yogurt blended with some yoplait to have flavor but boost protein......going to brunch buffet for SIL birthday, I don't want them to pay for me but they are insisting......I can just drink a protein shake and be "happy" but they want me to eat soup or whatever......I just don't care about food so why waste the $$?  Anyways, I am taking my surgeon's card so hopefully they will let me order a la carte or children's price. 

Crossing my fingers that I have the strength to do this today!

OK having a bladder surgery and port revision in one day and being sent home is not the easiest game on the block.  My lap-band surgery last year didn't hurt this much and I didn't feel as terrible.

Forcing protein in today against my tummy's will, it's not hungry Today sucks but I know I feel weak and terrible because I had zero calories yesterday other than a cup of coffee w 4oz skim milk - 40 cals.

Here are my day of surgery pics, and then the post-op pics from today, my tummy is huge, I look pregnant  from the surgery!

Last time I had trouble posting pics here and having them not disappear.......so here's my before port pics, my surgery is tomorrow morning at 10:30, I have to be there at 8:30.  I am just getting my port revision for my very painful abdominal muscles and the fact that it sticks out like an egg.  Her name is Idgy, and the new low profile port will be Idgy 2.0.

 

I was 156.8 when I got on the scale, and 155.4 by the time I left and peed twice.  I am totally OK with that, and it's even almost within my mainteance range.

Plus I got a tiny .2 fill and I feel my band again.  I just read what Jean M posted about a possible band slip and it puts my whining and crying over my "underfilled" band in perspective.

I am so glad to have my little problems.  I will get the weight back off and hopefully find a happy place closer to 150 and my size 6 pants and less carbs in my life!

Tomorrow morning I face the music and my bad choices on Saturday evening and Monday, I have my pre-op appt at my bariatric surgeon for the port revision part of my 7/24 surgery.  My urethral sling is the most important part of that picture...  Sat Eve was a chip and ice cream binge at my friend's house when no one was around, and Sunday was dried fruit and nuts, Monday was ice cream (measured and lowfat but still!), dried fruit and nut, crackers and mini reese cups.  BINGE BINGE BINGE.  I am such an addict. 

Now what was I feeding - Saturday it was simply MADNESS over watching everyone else CARB into oblivion all day.Sunday it was the discovery that my DD peed in her room and hid it several times by peeing on her stuffed animal.  She peed on him at least three times.  UGH.  SO I totally ate those feelings of being a worthless parents..........

Monday was just a carry-over from Saturday and Sunday.  Oh and I had McDonald's for lunch too, fries and nuggets.  Despite really small portions, that meal was about 460 calories (that part could have been worse) but I think it helped spawn the madness that followed. 

I spent the evening arguing with the DH about whether I am all or nothing and he said I have to learn to push away.  I got furious but then listened to what he was saying, about eating a portion and then pushing away.  If I cannot learn to push away, then I truly cannot eat those foods, EVER.  I hate EVER or NEVER.

Well day 3 was as expected, I felt SICK and nauseous and horrible and wanted to kill someone.  DETOX is a bitch.

Day 4 was better.  Scale still stuck at 159 (with clothes and fluids) but I am confident by Monday my hard work will pay off.  I didn't get to exercise today, went to therapy and talked about how my BFF is sabotaging me by putting out my fave carb foods.  I let her know what my weaknesses and needs were as a test to see if she complies or puts that crap out again.

I am NOT eating the carbs Saturday.  I will remain strong.  It is HARD yes but I can do it!

I don't want to GAIN weight or BLOAT or have to DETOX again.  I just have to remember that when I am faced with all the CRAP on Sat.

I am making a SF version of the napa cabbage salad.  I will only eat the cabbage.  And I will eat meat until I can't stand myself.  I am not counting calories, just trying to kill the carb demons.  I am of course watching portions but my band is so loose I can eat so much food..........it is so hard to do this without really good restriction.  It's not that I don't have any, I just don't have much.  I so want an upper GI now that my band has been loose for a few weeks, so I am going to ask for one next week.  I am having a port revision on 7/24 for cripes sake, I want to SEE my BAND!

Ok so here is day 2, and here is my menu:

My exercise will be another 3 miles outdoors today walking.  Knees not ready to jog again yet.

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Food Item	Servings	Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Hard Boiled Eggs	3.00	210	15g	720mg	210mg	0g	0g	0g	21g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1 egg (56g) Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Kraft Kraft Mayo With Olive Oil	0.66	30	3g	0mg	63mg	1g	0g	0g	0g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1 Tbsp (15g) Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Vlasic Kosher Dill Pickles	2.00	10	0g	0mg	560mg	2g	2g	0g	0g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1 oz (28g/ about 1/2 pickle) Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Dole Iceberg Lettuce	1.00	15	0g	0mg	10mg	3g	2g	1g	1g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1/6 medium head(89g) Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
HEB Mild Cheddar Thin Sliced	1.00	80	7g	25mg	140mg	1g	0g	0g	5g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1 slice Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Sara Lee (Premium) Honey Ham	2.00	160	7g	70mg	1,180mg	6g	4g	0g	18g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 2 oz Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Kroger Carbmaster Vanilla Yogurt	1.00	80	2g	5mg	80mg	4g	3g	1g	12g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1 container Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Ground Chuck 85/15	1.00	230	16g	70mg	65mg	0g	0g	0g	22g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 4 oz Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Cauliflower,raw	2.00	50	0g	0mg	60mg	11g	5g	5g	4g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1 Cup (100g) Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Meijer Sour Cream	1.00	60	6g	20mg	30mg	2g	1g	0g	0g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 2 tbsp Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm
Kroger Finely Shredded Colby Cheese	1.00	100	7g	30mg	170mg	0g	0g	0g	7g	x
	^ Servings consumed: Serving size: 1/4 Cup Optional: When did you eat this? - select mealtime - breakfast morning snack lunch afternoon snack dinner evening snack midnight snack pre-workout post-workout Unclassified or more specifically  --  12am 1am 2am 3am 4am 5am 6am 7am 8am 9am 10am 11am 12pm 1pm 2pm 3pm 4pm 5pm 6pm 7pm 8pm 9pm 10pm 11pm What's this? | Preferences Twitter is a popular microblogging site. If you have (or create) a Twitter account, LIVESTRONG can post updates to it when you take certain actions on the site -- but only when you give us explicit permission to do so. Please Enter Your Twitter Login Info:   Username:     Password:   Save my twitter login
Fitness	Minutes	Calories Burned						Distance	Heart Rate
Add your physical activity/exercise for June 30th, 2009!
		Cals	Fat	Cholest	Sodium	Carbs	Sugars	Fiber	Protein
Click totals for charts!	Totals:	1,025	62g	940mg	2,568mg	30g	17g	0 comments ‹‹ prev 1 2 3 4 5 … 9 10 next ›› About Me Dayton, OH Location 29.3 BMI VSG Surgery 07/22/2014 Surgery Date Jun 16, 2008 Member Since Friends 271 Latest Blog 100 New Year's Eve Resolution Run and then the party............. Merry Christmas from Kernie and Towanda Race cancelled, stuck episode, feeling blue.......... Me and my phone Have to work tomorrow........ PERSONAL-Weight back down....144! Almost sixteen months out......... port pic requested since revision Turkey Trot - 5 Mile Walk (sad knees) completed! Pre Turkey Trot Reflections ×