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I have a little less than 2 days until my surgery. I'm in a state of calmness. It just feels right. I've been thinking a lot about what I'll look like after the weight starts coming off. Who knows!! I told my family about the new date. They were taken aback, but ok with it. I felt really bad about keeping it from them. I think I set myself up to where I had no choice but to tell. But it's ok, I feel better that I've told everyone the truth. I also sent them the link to this journal, so they could read about my journey. So if you’re ready now, Hey!! 2 more days!!

Can you believe that this time next week I'll be 1 day post-op!! I can't believe it, I'm so excited. I'm starting to feel a little guilty because I didn't tell some of my family that my surgery date was moved up to May 9th. It's been hard keeping this from them, but I just have to keep strong. I decided not to tell them because I was getting tired of them trying to persuade me from doing this. It hasn't been everybody, but enough to make me just keep everyone to a minimum. They're going to be at my sister's graduation during my surgery, so I'm going to call them afterwards and let them know I came through ok. I hope they won't be too hurt. I do love them, but this journey's been hard enough and I don't want to deal with negativity.

Pre-Admissions Testing & Nutrition Class
I had my pre-admissions testing today. All went well and my records and files are complete and ready to go. I also went to my first Nutrition class. It was cool and I met a lot of people who will be in the hospital the same time that I will. I even met a lady who is having her surgery on the same day as mine with my surgeon. A lot of the stuff we went over, I had learned from BAF, my own research, and readings, but the review was very helpful. I can't believe that I'm so close to this. 9 MORE DAYS!! 

what kinda of big gurl are u

Your Results: over weight u go girl yeah u over weight but and long as u can get up and move enjoy life who gives a dame like they say big gurls are taking over you know what i mean

I have my Pre-Surgery appointment and Nutrition Class on Friday. I'm excited to get all of these things wrapped up. I'm about 1 week and ½ away from my surgery. Time is going by so quickly. I have so much work to wrap up from my two jobs, but it's all worth it. I took about 1 wk & ½ off of work and asked my boss if I could work from home after that if I wasn't up to coming into the office. She said that would be fine. I'm also working extra time so I can build up some more time/money for my days off.

I found out that my Nutrition class will cost $200. I was a little taken back, but decided that it was worth it. This will be my second out of pocket cost during this journey. This will total $400. I figured that it's not that bad on the big scheme of things. I think being healthy and happy is worth well over $400.

I have not built up the courage yet to ask for an Angel on the "Black American Forum (BAF)." So if you happen to be reading this (like anyone actually does that) and you would like to be my angel, I would really love that. I don't know why I'm worried about posting. I think I'm just afraid that no one will respond.

No sleep apnea over here!! Well, really the doc said I have a very mild case and it would be better if I waited for the surgery to see what less weight does for me. Truthfully, I don't think I have it. I think sleeping in that hospital made it appear like I had a mild case.

19 days left before my surgery. I'm back to being strictly excited and less nervous. I just can't wait. I'm so excited to jump start my life. I have my pre-operative testing on April 29th at 9am. Wooooohoooooo!! I'm on my way to becoming a LOSER!!

I have another new date. My surgery is now May 9th. It turned out that my surgeon wasn't even going to be in on May 13th. Well, I guess I really wasn't meant to be on the 13th. Well, I'm happy it's earlier, but the nervousness is starting to set in. It's just a little weird because this is really going to be happy. I can't imagine being healthy and happy again. I have been so down about myself every since I started putting on these last 70 lbs. I remember how I use to feel about myself. I was so confident and loved the way I felt and appreciated my looks. Now it's like I don't even recognize myself. My personality is not the same; I don't have that drive and enthusiasm anymore. I don't know what happened to me. I just can’t wait to get that back.

Ok now, that sleep test has really thrown my whole week off. I've been oh so tired. Well anyway about that. I called my doctor's office on 4/6 to send them some info and asked the secretary if any other dates were available. I have a couple of projects that I'm working on at my job and May 26 was really getting in the way of them. So she told me that May 13 was available. No one else wanted to take it because it is Friday the 13th. I was like whatever with that superstition stuff and said I would take the date. That's like a month away now. I'm so happy. I also felt the first nervous feeling that I've felt since I started this whole process. It's a little scary, because I know how fast one month goes by. GEEEEEEZZZZZZ time is going to fly.

I told my aunt about the surgery and she turned out to be really supportive. It turns out that her best friend was about to get the lapband surgery done. (Actually it's been a week now and she came through fine.) She also suggested that I get my will done before I go under the knife (she's a lawyer). I actually agree with her. I have a strong belief that when God wants to take me he will, whether it be this surgery or another way. When it's my time, it's my time. Anyway, so I think that I'm going to start my will over the weekend. That's going to be weird.

SLEEP APNEA TEST (Night 2)