KymmisMommy

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OMG...it seemed like it would never get here, and now it's arrived!!  Tomorrow is my VSG and I'm anxious like a kid  the night before Christmas.    I got a call this morining from the surgons office telling me that they had a cancelation and now I will be the first surgery of the day.   I have to be there at 5am.    It's like 8:30pm now and Im not packed or showerd or anything.    I didnt really celebrate my BIrthday...clear liquids and birthday candles just dont really work...lol.   BUT..........this will be the last Birthday that I dont celebrate due to illness and being overweight!!!!      
   I never really realized how much food rules my life until this week when I couldn't have anything solid.     We went to the drive in theatre twice this week to see new movies and It was soooo strange not getting munchies first...We usually take fast food with us, or get nachos or chips or something ...PLUS something sweet as well.    This time I went with Splenda sweetned Iced Tea, Water, and a couple sugar free hard candies.     Talk about twilight zone.  
   I  think that's my biggest concern about this surgery.   Not the physical stuff, but the emotional seperation from food.      I cant wait to leave the house and not have my first thought be " where can I get a bit to eat".   Fast food is every where and I never realized what a draw it had on me.  I mean I know I eat it...but I never realized HOW STRONG the pull of it is.     Its crazy.  I want that chapter of my life to be over!!!!     This surgery is the tool I need to help break that addiction and find something much more meaningful and healthy to spend my time on.      Now if I can just stay out of the bathroom long enough to get to the hospital and have the surgery!!!!! LoL!!

 New ideas, new way of living, new eating habbits, new life................NEW CLOTHES!!! WooHoo!!!!! I cant wait to have a LAF!! (Life After Fat)!!!              9 Hours (or so) and counting!!!!

Well, yesterday I got all the final pre-op blood tests finished and wrote the biggest check I have ever written in my life.   $10,900.00 To the hospital.  (and I thought the $4,100.00 one to the surgeon was hard to let go of...lol).    I started my full liquid diet yesterday.  Strangely I dont miss food much yet, though i'm sure that will sneak up on me. 
   My kids are still eating all my no-no foods such as, chicken nuggets, pizza, frys, home made white choclate chunk cookies, all the stuff that would usually make my mouth water. So far, the only thing that got to me was (of all things) Poptarts...go figure.   But I was strong and behaved myself.  I have wanted this surgery for so long that I refuse to do anything that might put it off for even one extra day.  Tomorrow I go for my final EKG and to get the final clearnace from my Cardiologist...and barring any more incidents with my A-fib, I will be having my surgery on Monday August 3rd...the day after my 44th birthday!! 
   I'm not scared at all, though I am a bit nervous.  I guess it's more paranoia of how im gonna handle it emotionally than the actual physical part.   Reading some of the storys of people who have done this before me has really made it much easier.  Not to mention seeing the before and after pics of people who remind me of ME.    
    I think as "fatties" we go through life kinda feeling that we are alone.  Not realizing when we see others that are our size that they are struggeling as we are.    Some of us hide the agony of this condition so well under smiling faces and joker like personalities.   It's rare that we ever really open up to anyone about how we really feel and about the many trying (and sometimes embaressing) realities we face on a daily basis.   Even our closest friends and family dont REALLY  know how we are feeling.  This forum and it's members have made my decision so much less terrifying!! and for that I thank all of you!!    I hope I can be as successfull and help others as you all have helped me!!!!  

Omg!!  I cant believe it!! I've finally got a date...and can you believe this...it's the day after my birthday!!  We're calling it my Re-Birthday.  The girl in the office was like..."are you gonna be ok with only having clear liquids on your birthday"?  I told her I'd have my kids put those floaty candles in my pot of chicken broth and sing happy Birthday....lol.  The fact is, I have been waiting and hoping and praying for that day for so many years (6 to be exact) that I would do just about anything they asked me.   Im nervous and excited and I just cant wait to see how quickly things change after the surgery.  I want to be healthy and happy again.!!!! I miss life!!!!